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I am losing feelings


Quokka

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Met this girl, she’s really cute, cool, funny, smart, out-going, has a job, is in school. Just an all around great catch. Sex is nice, she’s experimental, fun in bed, and doesn’t make me do all the work.

Sounds like an ideal situation right?

Well, I’m struggling here because I’m not feeling much for her. She texts me all day every day and I take forever to reply not intentionally I just feel like texting her is more of chore.

She wants to hang out every day after she gets off work which would be cool considering sex is usually involved but even that feels like a chore. I hang out with her and can’t wait until she leaves which is horrible for me and for me to do that to her. I’m feeling bad about it.

I’m trying to feel feelings for her but I’m just not? I may be depressed because honestly, I don’t leave my house much these days. All that sounds fun is staying home, watching my shows, and just having the house all by myself. I don’t know if I’m depressed I can’t really tell all I know is that recently I’ve been enjoying just being alone and she’s interfering with that.

My sex drive isn’t that high which is also another sign of depression. I’d rather masturbate than go through all the steps that lead to sex.

I’m trying to like this girl I really am because she’s all around great but not really feeling it and I can’t really explain why.

 

 

Any thoughts? Is it depression? Is it me? Anybody else experience this before?

Thanks

-Quokka

xo

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I think you are depressed and also feeling a bit smothered. People need space. Lastly, you might be taking her for granted. That's never good, because once she's gone, and she will be at some point, you will regret it.

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I think you are depressed and also feeling a bit smothered. People need space. Lastly, you might be taking her for granted. That's never good, because once she's gone, and she will be at some point, you will regret it.

 

Probably so. I just don’t know what I want and that isn’t fair to her. But like you said, I know I will regret letting her go. I’m also missing my ex girl a lot lately.

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It sounds like you’re depressed. Usually when someone is depressed, being around others feels like a chore because they have to put on a fake facade and appear happy and content. So withdrawing into the safety and comfort of the shell (house) becomes almost instinctive.

 

Try to find out why you’re depressed. Why not tell her that you feel a little down? Although it’s not her job, it’s good to have a partner who’s into you and might be able to get you out of that rut.

 

 

How long have you been seeing each other?

 

 

Lastly, wanna switch places with me? I’m feeling a bit down because I can’t find someone decent who I’m attracted to.

 

 

In all seriousness, relationships are supposed to make us happy. We’re social animals.

 

 

Find out why you’re depressed. Please don’t take her for granted. You’ll beat yourself up later.

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I’m also missing my ex girl a lot lately.

 

That’s not good. Are you in a rebound relationship?

 

 

You miss the comfort of the familiarity and intimacy. You can create that with this new girl. All you have to do is share your feelings with her, be more emotionally open to her.

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healing light

Honestly, I think this girl is needy and is smothering you. I need some space in a relationship to get things done and for some "me" time, so if I had someone both seeing me all the time and texting me all day--all before I knew I was really into them-- it would drive me up a wall. She isn't giving you the space to miss her or be excited about her.

 

I am less inclined to believe this is about depression.

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It sounds like you’re depressed. Usually when someone is depressed, being around others feels like a chore because they have to put on a fake facade and appear happy and content. So withdrawing into the safety and comfort of the shell (house) becomes almost instinctive.

 

Try to find out why you’re depressed. Why not tell her that you feel a little down? Although it’s not her job, it’s good to have a partner who’s into you and might be able to get you out of that rut.

 

 

How long have you been seeing each other?

 

 

Lastly, wanna switch places with me? I’m feeling a bit down because I can’t find someone decent who I’m attracted to.

 

 

In all seriousness, relationships are supposed to make us happy. We’re social animals.

 

 

Find out why you’re depressed. Please don’t take her for granted. You’ll beat yourself up later.

 

I don’t feel depressed like I normally do. I am able to function and go out with buddies it’s just her that seems like so much work. She’s pretty clingy and touchy and everything I do just feels fake. I more than likely AM depressed. I don’t know if you caught my other comment but I am missing my ex here lately maybe that is reason for me feeling this way.

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Honestly, I think this girl is needy and is smothering you. I need some space in a relationship to get things done and for some "me" time, so if I had someone both seeing me all the time and texting me all day--all before I knew I was really into them-- it would drive me up a wall. She isn't giving you the space to miss her or be excited about her.

 

I am less inclined to believe this is about depression.

 

I do have history of depression but I think you may have hit the nail on the head here. Maybe she’s just not giving me enough space to be without her and wonder about her. I know her schedule and what she’s doing all the time because she tells me. I may also be depressed without realizing it due to my other issues I am experiencing mainly sex drive.

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That’s not good. Are you in a rebound relationship?

 

 

You miss the comfort of the familiarity and intimacy. You can create that with this new girl. All you have to do is share your feelings with her, be more emotionally open to her.

 

Naw this isn’t a rebound this is just me trying something with someone else. I’ve always been in love with my ex since we were in high school. Certain circumstances have made us unable to have a healthy and stable relationship which is conflicting because even though I miss her I still can’t do anything about it.

But I figure sitting around not seeing anyone is just as bad.

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Cookiesandough
It sounds like you’re depressed. Usually when someone is depressed, being around others feels like a chore because they have to put on a fake facade and appear happy and content. So withdrawing into the safety and comfort of the shell (house) becomes almost instinctive.

 

Try to find out why you’re depressed. Why not tell her that you feel a little down? Although it’s not her job, it’s good to have a partner who’s into you and might be able to get you out of that rut.

 

 

How long have you been seeing each other?

 

 

Lastly, wanna switch places with me? I’m feeling a bit down because I can’t find someone decent who I’m attracted to.

 

 

In all seriousness, relationships are supposed to make us happy. We’re social animals.

 

 

Find out why you’re depressed. Please don’t take her for granted. You’ll beat yourself up later.

 

So true!!!!!

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I don’t feel depressed like I normally do. I am able to function and go out with buddies it’s just her that seems like so much work. She’s pretty clingy and touchy and everything I do just feels fake. I more than likely AM depressed. I don’t know if you caught my other comment but I am missing my ex here lately maybe that is reason for me feeling this way.

 

 

 

It might seem like too much work because you have to reciprocate. When you’re out with your friends, it’s a different dynamic. It’s not an exclusive relationship and you have little to no responsibility toward them.

 

 

A romantic relationship involves more responsibility. It takes more than just “Hey wanna play Halo? Or wanna go for a workout at the gym?” Or “This one’s on me”.

 

 

In other words, your obligations toward your friends are different from your obligations toward your girlfriend (are you guys in a committed relationship?)

 

 

Plus you have to show her a good time, romance her and make her feel special from time to time.

 

 

It’s quite possible you’re just not ready for a romantic relationship.

 

 

Some people get into a relationship and think it’s as easy as taking care of a pet, but then they realize that it takes a lot more responsibility and effort to keep a relationship going, and that you have certain obligations toward the other person. In the process you have to compromise because you lose some freedoms, just like a father has an obligation toward his kids and can’t just go out partying all night like he used to back in the day.

 

 

You still haven’t told me how long you’ve been together.

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I’m also missing my ex girl a lot lately.

 

This is the heart of your problem. You are not done mourning your ex. How long ago did you break up?

 

You need to break up with this current girl, what you are doing is misleading her. Obviously her feelings are growing and you can barely stand being with her. It's very unfair to this girl.

 

If you feel like being alone then be home alone. You are not done licking your wound so take time to do so.

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You are emotionally unavailable and should breakup with her. I agree with the above post, you are not ready to be a part of someone's life when feelings for your ex are lingering.

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Definitely your ex plays big part in how you feel right now.

You need time. And the longer you continue to pretend you're happy in this 'relationship' the worse outcome will be. Don't think you're depressed, you just feeling guilty for laying to yourself and her... If you like her, be honest, she should understand and give you space you need. If she won't understand just let her go

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Cookiesandough

It'd drive me crazy...the all day texting if it really is

Edited by Cookiesandough
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It'd drive me crazy...the all day texting if it really is

 

Texting period drives me up a wall. I hate typing into a phone. I can feel the tension building in my shoulders and neck when I do it.

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Sorry to hear that you are facing challenges in this relationship. Would you feel comfortable sharing your feelings with her? You might be pleasantly surprised at how she reacts. She may be of great support to you. As far as depression goes, do you have a medical professional that you trust? They would be your best source of help. I do hope you find some relief soon.

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