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Boyfriend seems to be ignoring me


Starseed420

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I have been seeing this guy for about 2 months. We have spent a lot of time together in that time, and we have had the talk that we are exclusive and are boyfriend/girlfriend. He has been really good to me, and is overall a really good guy. His actions proved he was into me and cared (i.e doing things for me around my place, bringing me things I need). Ever since this weekend, he has been backing off. We were both busy with events and our social lives this weekend. He called me Saturday night asking about possibly meeting up later in the night. I texted him an hour later and asked if he would still be around and he said he would. By the time I was going home around 3, I realized he didn't get back to me. Needless to say, I had a few drinks and was a bit drunk. So I texted him how I was upset and wanted to see him and how I don't want him to think of me as a hookup, or someone who is available whenever he calls. I realized the next day I had blocked his number after I sent those, so I unblocked it and no text or call. Later that night I texted him saying "I'm not for the way I spoke to you, I didn't mean it".. He said "I'm not mad at you, I'm sorry I made you feel that way, but don't be sorry"..and he said how he would call me later. I said okay and asked him if he could give a quick call as I was going to bed soon, and nothing. I haven't heard from him today at all, and I am afraid to text/call him. He says he isn't mad, but I think he is. I really don't know how to go about this situation since it's early into the relationship. I'm afraid he might stop seeing me or ignore me, and afraid that I ruined something good. I don't know why he seems to be avoiding me and what happened and I am not sure what to say/do next.

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It appears he may be trying to end it, but he is afraid to come out and say it.

 

 

Or perhaps he is mad (regardless of what he says) and wants to back off for a period of time.

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Needless to say, I had a few drinks and was a bit drunk. So I texted him how I was upset and wanted to see him and how I don't want him to think of me as a hookup, or someone who is available whenever he calls. I realized the next day I had blocked his number after I sent those

 

1. Make it policy to ease up on the drinking. It doesn't translate well over the phone.

 

2. Turn off your phone when you're drunk so you don't make cringy texts and calls. The combination of the two leads you to do things you later regret.

 

3. He probably wasn't thinking of you as a hookup or someone who is available whenever he calls until you mentioned it.

 

I think a combination of these two events may have put something on his mind about the wisdom in pursuing you and he's backing off for the time being.

 

I'd leave him be until he comes around. Chasing him down will only serve to chase him further away... and that's cringy, too.

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HarmonyDriven
I'm afraid he might stop seeing me or ignore me, and afraid that I ruined something good. I don't know why he seems to be avoiding me and what happened and I am not sure what to say/do next.

 

Calling/texting him while drunk/drinking - not a good thing. Blocking his number by accident - not a good thing. IMO, you gave a sloppy apology....actually, it does not appear you said sorry for the text other than you did not mean it. It would have been better to state you were wrong for sending that kind of a text.

 

IMO, the ball is in his court, give him space. If he truly sees you as viable relationship material, he will contact you. If he doesn't, then move on.

 

IMO, being afraid he might stop seeing you or ignore you shows your insecurity. Snap out of it. People make mistakes. If he cannot get past it, then you move on. Two months is not a long investment.

 

In the meantime, don't waste time by waiting for his text/call. Keep busy and good luck :)

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Give him time and don't be desperate. It was your mistake for getting drunk like that since you can't always control what you do.

 

As said above, if you push him for a response it will just make him feel less willing to do so.

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