Mkn1010 Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Do you believe that dating apps promote narcissism and a liberal cesspool? I feel that they make it much easier for people nowadays to get sex with little effort (eg after 1-2 dates) or whatever other immediate needs they may have like validation or attention! And there's pressure to conform lest you are thrown back into the cesspool where another candidate awaits at their fingertips! There's no patience or appreciation for diversity! And if feels a lot like a loveless generation where people aren't looking for traits like empathy, substance, introspective, real committed etc etc Does anyone feel this way? And I honestly had no idea that people did 'casual' relationships until I became single again at 28. Now it's the norm and not the exception when asking what someone is looking for! Rant over! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Do you work? I would suggest you look for someone at work to start dating with. If it's allowed? Someone that knows you at work. OLD is what we call it here you know as online dating. That alone with the apps or web site can be the open door for all sorts of people who have never been or have been in relationships that have failed. These people are mostly either married still and are bored in their current marriage. They can be scammers looking for your money to give them so they can go after your lonely way of life. So much crap going on on these new way of finding someone to love. Most of what goes on is not pleasant. Back in the day of AOL Chat and AOL IM you didn't have all these problem like you have today. Woman would contact the men now we men have to contact the women. Woman today have the power to say yes or no to you for dating. Thanks but no thanks your not my type. These days yes casual dating for sex only is not for me. Another popular one is called Booty Call, quickie or cheap sex. Again I am not for these. Threesomes not into this either, never did and won't do it. Another issue is Aids/HIV, STD, STI a lot of that is going around no cure for that once you get your done. Women who are single moms they kid means more than you do, they come first. I use to see profiles that read this. Some of these women don't want more kids with the next guy. So if you never had kids and want them you best say it in your profile because these so call women don't want more. There are women who never married, never dated, never had kids. Some don't want to marry, some don't want kids at all. So much social behavioral issues. What's the heck wrong with these women. Messed up childhood, messed up parents maybe no parent raised in foster care. So again people will do what they want too. When it comes to OLD, to me it's no better than the outside world of dating. What you see in the movies and TV shows is not how it really is. To find a women to day for a man is really tough to weed through those women with toxic or drama lives. My favorite ones are those who say they're single, but yet still married. Their line is it's just a peace of paper. When I hear that on boy they can get me started to tell them nope it's not just that. You gave your life and love to that man you picked to be hour husband. If you don't want to be with him no more then ask for divorce. No these women want to keep that and have fun around it. That's not fair for us men who are single and looking . People just don't care anymore... Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 I feel like every generation has people like that. Most people around me (20s and 30s) are in loving relationships 1 Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 I feel like every generation has people like that. Most people around me (20s and 30s) are in loving relationships This is the norm today, but what else is out there is not the norm today. Romeo and Juliet Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Some people are shallow, some are not. In my next partner, I am looking for a woman with depth of character, a healthy moral compass, honesty and integrity. I don't see myself finding her on Tinder. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Hear that ? Its the woman! The nasty online dating moms with behavior issues ...the men are okay but the woman! RUN FROM THE WOMAN aowwwwwwwwooooo 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mkn1010 Posted October 30, 2017 Author Share Posted October 30, 2017 I feel like every generation has people like that. Most people around me (20s and 30s) are in loving relationships Couldn't disagree more! The relationships I see are ones used to fill inner voids, boost self-esteem, boast via FB on a facade that is apparently a 'loving' relationship, financial gain, meeting of ridiculous milestones and hardcore settling! Edited to add that I'm a divorce lawyer, so maybe I'm cynical:) 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Buriall Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Chances of you finding someone long term is as slim as winning a lottery on dating apps or online. I do believe these kind of apps promote narcs and others. thats why i decided to stay away from "dating online" 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 There are tons of Gen X and Baby Boomers on both social media and online dating apps. This isn't exclusive to younger generations. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Couldn't disagree more! The relationships I see are ones used to fill inner voids, boost self-esteem, boast via FB on a facade that is apparently a 'loving' relationship, financial gain, meeting of ridiculous milestones and hardcore settling! Edited to add that I'm a divorce lawyer, so maybe I'm cynical:) Haha oh okay well they're awfully good at faking it then Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Do you believe that dating apps promote narcissism and a liberal cesspool? I feel that they make it much easier for people nowadays to get sex with little effort (eg after 1-2 dates) or whatever other immediate needs they may have like validation or attention! And there's pressure to conform lest you are thrown back into the cesspool where another candidate awaits at their fingertips! There's no patience or appreciation for diversity! And if feels a lot like a loveless generation where people aren't looking for traits like empathy, substance, introspective, real committed etc etc Does anyone feel this way? And I honestly had no idea that people did 'casual' relationships until I became single again at 28. Now it's the norm and not the exception when asking what someone is looking for! Rant over! Not sure if I agree - I'm 26 and quite a few people my age (and younger even) still ultimately want long term relationships. I think what's happened is we've rejected the old idea that you just fall in love and get married quickly, since so many relationships ultimately fail and we don't want to end up like that. So in theory we just keep trying until we find that person who is right for us, but I think in practice we jump ship a little too easily and don't give the relationship time to build fully. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 One of my head manager at work told me he's on Bumble and Tinder. I told him those are for casual sex his eyes and smile were up. He said he was into that OMG. Really then try Yo Cutie... I don't care for these apps, not my cup of tea. I can walk up to any woman and start chatting with her. Confidence is the key to success. Link to post Share on other sites
caveman621 Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Judge others much? "liberal cesspool"? Sex strictly for pleasure may not be for you. That's fine. But people who sometimes enjoy sex without developing a long term emotional attachment are in a "liberal cesspool"? Wow. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Everyone is entitled to their preferences be it on a dating app or in real life. No one is owed a relationship just because they have interest. Just like if someone you're not attracted to is not owed a relationship with you just because she wants one with you. You have every right to whom/what you're are attracted. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Judge others much? "liberal cesspool"? Sex strictly for pleasure may not be for you. That's fine. But people who sometimes enjoy sex without developing a long term emotional attachment are in a "liberal cesspool"? Wow. That attitude may be the reason why he's experiencing what he's experiencing. OP, you might want to join a really fundamentalist church to find someone more aligned to your way of thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
Mjm1014 Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 (edited) Yes I totally agree with you OP. I'm 30, have been doing the online dating thing for years with almost zero luck. I'd say I'd go back out on a second date with 60-70%of the people I go out with that I meet online (usually take a week or so before the date to get to know someone and obviously seen pics before hand so you would think the odds would be good but that's not the case), but unfortunately maybe only strike 20-30% accept a second offer...of these, maybe 5% will want to progress things further than a few dates just to find out they are still OLD and stringing multiple people along or they decide they would rather stay single and live a party life of hooking up. It's funny how I've seen the same profiles out there for years that are still active...it's all the same people! I'm not overly picky either and enjoy most of my dates but nothing really pans out other than a fun night out. I know of a handful of women that are on there that I'm friends with that sleep with a new guy literally every night-granted they are very good looking...they just want the attention, free meals, and sex. It's sad watching some of these guys jump through hoops for them especially when I know they have ten other guys lined up at the same time. I'm sure there are guys doing the same thing though....it's a huge shame this is the dating world we live in now. My biggest word of advice would be to meet someone in high school or college and don't set yourself up to do long distance during these years. I wasted four years of college in a long distance relationship that was fail to be doomed-my biggest regret ever. Everyone I know my age that's in a serious relationship or is married met during those years in high school/college..the other people that I know that graduated single are all having a horrible dating experience especially if they are using online dating apps. Too many games, too many options, too easy to dismiss someone since there's always the next best thing. Meeting someone at the workplace is not viable for a lot of people so there's few options besides OLD unless you have a lot of single friends to go out with (totally dwindles once you hit 30 or so). Seriously what I would do to go back in time to meet my match during those years when it was easy. I'm not saying OLD is impossible to start a committed relationship but the odds aren't in your favor unless you're the top 5% in looks. If you're a woman, you may have slightly better luck though. Edited October 30, 2017 by Mjm1014 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Casual sex isn't a new thing, Millennials didn't invent it, and your generation has a lot less casual sex than Generation X did. Dating apps (and the drop in face to face interaction among people) has definitely made it easier for people to bounce around, trying to find relationships. But overall I think your attitude is poor and it's going to be impossible for you to find someone while you are so negative. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MajesticUnicorn Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Meh. I don't love using Tinder/Bumble, but it's an easy way to meet people. Especially considering I'm moving to a new city where I know only a handful of people, I'm sure I'm probably going to start using those apps again. There's always going to be people just looking to hook up, regardless of where you meet them. On the contrary, I dated a guy for 2.5 years I met off Tinder. My cousin married a guy off Tinder, and now they have an adorable son. While I do find a lot of guys just trying to hook up on Tinder, I also find a ton that are asking to go on dates and are sending the message that they want an actual relationship. Granted my standards are way too high (working on that) and I always tend to go for the hotties that just wanna use me.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Casual sex isn't a new thing, Millennials didn't invent it, and your generation has a lot less casual sex than Generation X did. Dating apps (and the drop in face to face interaction among people) has definitely made it easier for people to bounce around, trying to find relationships. But overall I think your attitude is poor and it's going to be impossible for you to find someone while you are so negative. That isn't exactly true. I'm about a year away from being GenX and my experience is that GenX had more sex, but it was more frequently relationship sex. I remember calling the FWB situation F*ckbuddies... and it wasn't very common even in college. So, yes Millennials are having less sex, but with more partners... at least thats what the research states. Also with less emotional commitment. Also, consider that the attitude towards dating is a reflection of experiences. The same person with better experiences would not be feeling this way about dating being a "libertine cesspool". Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 The same person with better experiences would not be feeling this way about dating being a "libertine cesspool". That's not what he called it Do you believe that dating apps promote narcissism and a liberal cesspool? Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 That's not what he called it That is what he was meaning. Most of these guys don't really have a problem with liberal politics... like universal healthcare or free college. There is a bit of a revolt against the Lena Dunham type girls that seem to dominate big cities today. Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Do you believe that dating apps promote narcissism and a liberal cesspool? I'll ask all the religious, right-winger daters who are online as well. All those family-oriented men now find it easier to be themselves by using OLD. It's not a liberal or conservative thing. I have seen plenty of 'christians' out there going from one relationship to the next and seeking qualities that reveal just how shallow and superficial they truly are. Aside from that, yes, I believe it encourages those who are already narcissistic. I feel that they make it much easier for people nowadays to get sex with little effort (eg after 1-2 dates) or whatever other immediate needs they may have like validation or attention! And there's pressure to conform lest you are thrown back into the cesspool where another candidate awaits at their fingertips! There's no patience or appreciation for diversity! And if feels a lot like a loveless generation where people aren't looking for traits like empathy, substance, introspective, real committed etc etc Does anyone feel this way? And I honestly had no idea that people did 'casual' relationships until I became single again at 28. Now it's the norm and not the exception when asking what someone is looking for! Rant over! I believe that many are looking for something of substance. Many WOMEN that is. The OLD has really thrown a curve ball at our entire society and 'predators' of varying levels are having a field day via deceit, subterfuge, anonymity... Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 That is what he was meaning. . He's a lawyer--a profession not known for not knowing what words to use and when. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mkn1010 Posted October 30, 2017 Author Share Posted October 30, 2017 That attitude may be the reason why he's experiencing what he's experiencing. OP, you might want to join a really fundamentalist church to find someone more aligned to your way of thinking. What a joke! Exactly the problem, I apparently need to find a fundamentalist church to find like-minded heartfelt people! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mkn1010 Posted October 30, 2017 Author Share Posted October 30, 2017 That is what he was meaning. Most of these guys don't really have a problem with liberal politics... like universal healthcare or free college. There is a bit of a revolt against the Lena Dunham type girls that seem to dominate big cities today. I'm actually a female, that's probably why I don't find many men who agree with me! I don't have any issue with the type of mainstream women that dominate my big city, I'm just not one of them! I'm surprised everyone thought I was male given my views! Link to post Share on other sites
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