How do I cope with dating a Med student?

[kk1234]

I first met my boyfriend a year ago working in retail.Not being very experienced in relationships (or knowing too many med students) I didn't realise I was falling into the deep end of dating.

 

He is a 5th year med student still living at home, so we see each other on average 5-6 hours a week, sometimes more if he has a bit of down time. We're serious and committed to our relationship, and discuss our future a great deal.

 

Although he's never had a lot of time from the beginning of our relationship due to study commitments, I'm suddenly having waves of loneliness come over me.His exams are a few weeks away, and after that he jets off for two months for placement at other hospitals around the country.Although I've been aware of this for a few months and I've been okay with it, I've recently started thinking about our future together and if this is something I would really want to settle down for. I'm aware that his life will change once he starts working, but the hours studying will change into night shifts, to the 10-12 hours shifts or him getting home only to be watching another tutorial or having a Skype meeting with other doctors.

 

I love my partner a great deal, he is a wonderful and caring person and I couldn't imagine being with anyone else, but there are days where I've needed the support and he just hasn't been available. I usually attend social events on my own, I wait hours for a reply message and it's usually me who puts in the most effort to travel and go see him.

 

I love him, but I know I can't change his career. I'm not yet ready to give up on my relationship, but I want to know if anyone has been in a similar position and if there really is light at the end of the tunnel.

[smackie9]

Just wait til he's a doctor...then you will really never see him. This is a matter of expectations and compatibility. Don't be afraid to move on and find someone that has more time and attention to give you. You will be much happier in the end to find that guy.

[Cookiesandough]

I briefly dated a phydican and I was amazed by how much free time the dude had at work. It boggled my mind. He worked at a large, busy hospital, but he could call me on the job between dealing with patients. He worked 2 weeks(or was it 1 week?) and got two(or 1) full weeks off. Very common. I think it might get better when he's done with school depending on some factors if that guy was any indication. I know med school is REALLY rough. It beats you down. Only 1 more yr. hang in there if you love him

Edited October 29, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[Gr8fuln2020]

I was married to a physician. She had a 8-5 job, saw her every day, almost every weekend (unless weekend duty). It depends on what area of medicine and practice. Time was never an issue.

[Pacman]

As a medical student myself I will tell you this. If it we're up to us, you would be our #1 priority and we would love to spend more time with you.

 

But unfortunately it's not up to us.

 

Docs can work 3 12 hour shifts and have 4 days off. Once he is a working doc he will have plenty of time to be with you. If he's a 5th year I'm assuming he is doing his residency, and these next couple of years will be tough for him too.

[Els]

Do you live in the US? Residents' hours there are insane - most relationships do not survive it. It's possible you will be in the small % that do, but also likely that you won't, so bear that in mind.

 

In most other developed countries, the hours for doctors are still bad but not as insane as the US. It generally does still get busier after med school though. My thoughts are that if you find dating someone in med school difficult to cope with, it's possible that you may not be compatible with someone in that career and might want to cut your losses.