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German guy


nia110

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Hi! I'm sorry for my English,it isn't my first language. So...I'm a 20 year old girl, a first year medical student. I study in an university where there are a lot of international students too(asians,indians,germans,etc).

I started going to the university's soccer training. I've never had an opportunity to be part of a soccer team, because I come from a small town and there wasn't a local female soccer team. So I thought that it will be fun to try to learn something new. I love sports, I'm a really good runner and go to a lot of local and international competitions.

I go to soccer practice every Friday(total 3 times since sports started)

First meeting:When I first went to training I saw this german guy. We talked a little bit before the game, he told me that he is a first year medical student too.

Second meeting: He was a little bit late, he came, said hi to everyone and didn't talk at all till the end of the training. There is a girl and her boyfriend in our team(international students from Turkey) who I talk a lot with. We make jokes and laugh. After the training they offered to wait for me and go fetch something to eat but I refused because I wanted to get some rest because I had a busy day. Then I saw the german guy leaving with them... I guess that was a good chance to get to know him better.

Third meeting: The coach splitted us into 3 teams so every team had to play 2 games. We played against his team and lost. Then the third team played against them while we were waiting to play our second game. After their game finished, they left. So I couldn't join this girl,her BF and him for lunch(the three of them were in the same team so again they left together).

Next Friday the weather might me awful and most likely we will go to training, the coach will write down our names and we will leave.

I'm planning to talk to him sometime. He is not the most social creature I've ever seen, he is a little bit shy and I won't wait for him to start a conversation. But I'm not the most talkative person you'll meet either. I don't have a severe social anxiety:D, but I act a little bit reserved when it comes to talking to strangers. For some people the whole thing with making new friends is a piece of cake...but I'm not one of those people:D .

So do you know how should he be approached? Other students from my university say that germans are a little bit introvert and this guy is no exception. He already told me that this is his first year here so it isn't an option to start the conversetion with this question. I think that it will be awkward to start asking him random questions or talk to him about something. I will probably be nervous while talking to him...

I rarely get interested in guys because I spend my free time training,going to competitions and going somewhere on a holiday with my friends(I have some male friends too but I've never had romantic interest towards someone of them). When I was 17 I had a boyfriend who I broke up with after some months of dating(we weren't made for each other lol :D ).

So please help me with this guy, I don't want to make a fool out of myself but I really,really want to get to know him better:D.

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Yes, Germans are not particularly known for romance, that is true. It's not so much that they are introverts, but that they are not very flirty. Many Germans are amazingly talkative (in contrast to the stereotype), but it is not as common as in France or Italy that a guy will outright flirt with a random stranger.

 

My biggest question is: Can't you have the Turkish guy make an introduction? Seems like he knows the German guy and could set something up, or am I misreading something?

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heavenonearth
Yes, Germans are not particularly known for romance, that is true. It's not so much that they are introverts, but that they are not very flirty. Many Germans are amazingly talkative (in contrast to the stereotype), but it is not as common as in France or Italy that a guy will outright flirt with a random stranger.

 

My biggest question is: Can't you have the Turkish guy make an introduction? Seems like he knows the German guy and could set something up, or am I misreading something?

 

Please do not buy into these stereotypes.

OP, if the guy is shy, just ask if he would like to go for a coffee with you sometime and see how he reacts. I know it can be scary, but you are a big girl now, no need to be shy. If he says no, you can take it as a learning experience. Life has a lot of ups and downs, but you'll never experience the ups if you don't take the risk.

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Thank you so much for your answer!We've already introduced ourselves at each other when we first met 3 weeks ago. Yes,the Turkish guy knows him better than anyone at our training. I know his name, he knows mine(I think). Is it a nice idea to leave training with the Turkish boy and girl(the German guy will most likely join too) and try to make a conversation with the three of them. As I said the Turkish boy and girl are friendly,talkative and have nice sense of humour.This way it won't be too awkward:o .

I think it won't be that difficult to start a conversation with him but I think that it would be very difficult(or impossible) to go out with him sometime. He likes nature (I saw a lot of photos from adventures in his FB profile). I could take him to the beach to watch the sunset with him. Every evening I go to the beach with my dog.

So what do you think? Will you guys hang out with a girl you've talked only a few times with? I won't start convincing him to go out with me during our first conversation:D, but I'm planning to offer him a walk on the beach after some more meetings. Or this will scare him off, because it will be too obvious that I want him for more than a friend? I've not talked to my male friends about what would they think if they were him, so I'm asking here.

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German guy's are not all unromantic and introverted. I've got 2 really good German male friends, one of them is ALWAYS telling his wife how much he love's her on Facebook and in real life in front of us, he's always giving her thoughtful gifts and massages.

Good luck! Hope you get to join them soon for lunch or coffee.

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Hi! Yesterday at the beginning of our training the coach started talking something and the German guy approached me and asked me to translate:o . So I didn't need to start the conversation first. We talked some more during the warm up. I didn't ask him for his FB so we could continue our conversation there because I was afraid that he would tell me that he doesn't like to chat on FB, is too busy with studies or sth. But maybe I will ask him next time and will tell him it's because I want to inform him when there will be no training(when it rains,or the coach is out of town). He doesn't look as he would like to chat, he talked to me during training maybe because he was just bored. I prefer to approach him slowly because I'm afraid afraid that I will scare him off or sth.

It's maybe because I get so easily pushed away by guys who act obsessed with me. For example there is a guy(1st year too) in my university who will constantly make sure he's sitting next to me during lectures, when I go to study in the library after a lecture he will be there too(sitting next to me),constantly trying to start a conversation, try to make me laugh,etc. I know for girls that find this kind of behaviour cute :eek: but I'm not one of them.

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The best advice I can give you is to just go for it and not care what the results. Ask him out for crying out loud, it's not the 1950's.

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In my experience with German guys, they are awesome when in a relationship (well the guys I dated), but getting into one can be a bit harder lol. Don't expect flirting to be the same as with an American guy, and take him at face value. Like don't read into actions and words he likely means exactly what he has said without innuendo.

 

But definitely ask him to join you for a walk along the beach after getting to know him with the Turkish couple. Just go for it. There is nothing to lose

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Thank you for the encouragment:D ! As I said in my first post I rarely get interested in someone so I need to do my best to not mess things up and not push him away :laugh: . I was pretty surprised when he came and asked me to translate...and I was even more surprised when he asked me about how do I like studying at the university,in which part of the city I'm living(I don't live in a students' dormitory, because I wanted to bring my dog with me). I'll see what will happen during our next training and will ask him for his FB :o . If things are meant to happen, they will, I just don't want to be too pushy and ruin everything. I don't expect him to flirt or sth. I prefer taking things slow, getting to know him better and just try to be friends first. Maybe this is the reason I got interested in this certain guy, because he won't come out of nowhere and start flirting with me like most guys will do here.

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heavenonearth

OP please do not listen to anyone who is advising on stereotypical German guy behavior. It's bullcrap! Just go for it and don't worry about his nationality or things that may be 'stereotypical' for his nationality.

Do not worry.

 

Every person is different.

You will get to know him for who he is once you hang out.

 

Good luck.

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  • 3 weeks later...
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Hi, need help again:(! Unfortunately I missed 2 training sessions because I fell sick. So we haven't talked since the time I wrote about. Today I went to training,he was there and we greeted eachother. The weather was cold and windy,the ground was too wet and the trainer told us to go home. And we said bye to eachother and that was the "conversation" for today:( .

We are almost at the end of this semester and there aren't much training sessions left. I still haven't asked him to add him on FB and I don't know how to make a nice conversation which he would want to continue. OK,I will ask him for his FB, but the problem is I don't have anything to discuss with him because we've never had time to turn a small talk into a conversation. I don't have much time and I feel it's impossible to be more than a FB friends who never write to each other and would probably never see each other again. Please don't blame me that I act like a 12-year-old who is avoiding her crush,I don't have the experience some people my age have approaching someone new who they are interested in. I mean, I try to act natural but this is so difficult while I'm actually so nervous on the inside.

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