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Should she be excited?


fred123

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Should the girl you are dating be excited and want to come to events with you when you invite her? Should she be excited to want to mee your friends and close people in your life?

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If she's into you, then yes she is going to be excited to be a part of your life and to see progression in the relationship.

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If she's into you, then yes she is going to be excited to be a part of your life and to see progression in the relationship.

 

And if shes meh or lukewarm she will be hesistant when i ask her ?

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Keep in mind people express themselves differently. Just because she's not squealing and jumping up and down doesn't mean she's not happy. Be careful of trying to force other people to act and react the way you do.

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It's obvious from your threads and posts that you are very distrusting at this point.

Following a specific set of rules isn't going to guarantee that you don't get hurt again because everyone is different.

I think you need to take some time off from dating and heal from your last heartbreak.

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Should the girl you are dating be excited and want to come to events with you when you invite her? Should she be excited to want to mee your friends and close people in your life?

 

Yes most girlfriends are excited to follow you to events to meet family and friends because it means the relationship is escalating and getting more serious.

 

Some people don't like family, don't like friends, don't like to socialize and it's like breaking an arm to bring them anywhere. If you date someone like that I urge you to break up and to find a better suited partner.

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Should the girl you are dating be excited and want to come to events with you when you invite her? Should she be excited to want to mee your friends and close people in your life?

 

What events? You can't force her to go an event she doesn't care to go just because she likes you? That would be mean to do on your put. As for the friends who means more she or your friends? The old saying was who would always be there for you friends or the woman you just been seeing? I met my new gf friends she hasn't met mine, but it doesn't matter to her if she does or not. Not really a big deal to me. What was a big deal to me was to meet her family and friends. I knew she wanted to show me off as her new man. I kinda like that fact a lot more!

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MajesticUnicorn

I mean personally if I am really interested in a guy I am excited to meet his family/friends, attend events as a couple, etc. But as mentioned, not everyone show excitement the same way. Especially if it's early on in the relationship she may trying to play it cool. Hard to say though because not everyone reacts the same in relationships.

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I think the word 'excited' is overkill. Yes, I may look forward to events or meeting friends and family.....but am I excited? Nope. I just don't show emotions in that way.

 

To further answer your question, if she shows no interest or tries to avoid these things then she's not the right girl for you.

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I think the word 'excited' is overkill. Yes, I may look forward to events or meeting friends and family.....but am I excited? Nope. I just don't show emotions in that way.

 

To further answer your question, if she shows no interest or tries to avoid these things then she's not the right girl for you.

 

Your last sentence sounds a bit harsh. If I say lets go to the movies and she said she wasn't feeling up to it? She could be feeling sick or she just didn't want to go out that day. Some women just don't want to meet your friends, they can still be interested but only about you not your friends.

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Your last sentence sounds a bit harsh. If I say lets go to the movies and she said she wasn't feeling up to it? She could be feeling sick or she just didn't want to go out that day. Some women just don't want to meet your friends, they can still be interested but only about you not your friends.

 

With regards to her not feeling well, if she's usually upbeat but has a bad day, of course he should make allowances.

 

But if he needs the type of girl who is keen to do these things but is with one who isn't keen, then you're looking at a mismatch. A person who's keen to share their loved on with friends and family isn't a good match for a person who avoids it like the plague.

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Cookiesandough
It's obvious from your threads and posts that you are very distrusting at this point.

Following a specific set of rules isn't going to guarantee that you don't get hurt again because everyone is different.

I think you need to take some time off from dating and heal from your last heartbreak.

 

Yes. Each thread Fred makes about an allusive 'She' is an attempt to nail down the 'right' way an interested woman behaves, in contrast to the woman he's hung up on that strung him along, so that never happens to him again. This is probably detrimental. I think he just needs to date and learn that way instead of thinking up all of this.

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With regards to her not feeling well, if she's usually upbeat but has a bad day, of course he should make allowances.

 

But if he needs the type of girl who is keen to do these things but is with one who isn't keen, then you're looking at a mismatch. A person who's keen to share their loved on with friends and family isn't a good match for a person who avoids it like the plague.

 

My close family is dead, and my real friends are not here with me. So in my case this wouldn't apply. I always feel if she didn't want me to meet her family or friends then I would have to agree with you. But sometimes there is a reason why they just don't want the friends and family to know her business. Case point the one I am seeing but she likes me enough to meet her mom, sister, younger brother, he two grown kids her friends her friend parents. See that's a good sign there. Even better her mom invites you over and makes dinner. Her very close friend (best friend she has invited us to go over to her place here with her husband) I am looking forward to that as well as the gf. That's good sign also.

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Yes. Each thread Fred makes about an allusive 'She' is an attempt to nail down the 'right' way an interested woman behaves, in contrast to the woman he's hung up on that strung him along, so that never happens to him again. This is probably detrimental. I think he just needs to date and learn that way instead of thinking up all of this.

 

I agree with you that makes more sense. He needs to heal and get over things not to figure out why things are done in a certain way. Women can be confusing at times. We men are no different. There are no rules in place to say that woman are suppose to go with you every where you go out too. You don;'t have to drag them with you either. This is not the cave men times.. He needs to relax and think about things before he ever dates again!

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Cookiesandough
I agree with you that makes more sense. He needs to heal and get over things not to figure out why things are done in a certain way. Women can be confusing at times. We men are no different. There are no rules in place to say that woman are suppose to go with you every where you go out too. You don;'t have to drag them with you either. This is not the cave men times.. He needs to relax and think about things before he ever dates again!

 

Agreed! People are so confusing sometimes. Trying to figure them all out on paper and devising a strategy is just going to make you more confused. You just have to run out on that battlefield and wing it xD

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Agreed! People are so confusing sometimes. Trying to figure them all out on paper and devising a strategy is just going to make you more confused. You just have to run out on that battlefield and wing it xD

 

Yh ur right. Im trying to find a rule so i dont get hurt again.

Its just hurtful some of the things women do or dont do or say etc.

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MajesticUnicorn

I’ve gone through and read some of your old threads. It seems like you need to stop thinking there is some kind of dating rule book you have to abide by. No two relationships are the same. No two women are the same. It seeems unhealthy to me to obsess over previous experiences gone wrong or to overanalyze these hypothetical dating situations.

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Yh ur right. Im trying to find a rule so i dont get hurt again.

Its just hurtful some of the things women do or dont do or say etc.

 

The only rule you need to obey to is how you feel.

 

With your ex you started feeling bad as soon as she started playing games with you. You should have listenned to your instinct and drop her right there and then. Instead you ignored your little voice, you ignored all of our warnings and you endured months of bad treatments from her.

 

So here is the only rule: Listen to your gut feeling!!

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Gaeta is right. The only rule is to follow your gut feeling. If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.

 

And there isn't anything you can do to protect yourself from getting hurt. We all get hurt from time to time - it's part of life. The secret is having sufficient resilience so that you can bounce back after the hurt.

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Gaeta is right. The only rule is to follow your gut feeling. If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.

 

And there isn't anything you can do to protect yourself from getting hurt. We all get hurt from time to time - it's part of life. The secret is having sufficient resilience so that you can bounce back after the hurt.

 

Im just really hurt by things she said or did or didnt do and how she made me feel. So hurt for someone i made sure was special and made feel secure.

My best girl mate told me i should make a girl im dating feel special and not make her feel insecure.

Like for example i asked her on a third date to a nice dinner. I asked if she was free on his day . She replied with "can do". That was hurtful.

If a guy responded that to you girls how would u feel?

 

She even once said that she didnt want me to get her car wash together as i would do something annoying like put my arm around her. That was really hurtful. My arm js not annoying i tried to tell her.

Is it the same feeling you girls get if a man said thhe samw thing to you or am i just a pussy?

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There are no rules. Logic won't protect your heart next time you risk trusting a woman.

 

As a generalization yes, your SO should be excited to spend time with you. That doesn't mean you are joined at the hip. It can mean compromise.

 

One of my EXs loved to fish. I hate fish. I'd go occasionally & read a book in the sun.

 

I love the beach. DH thinks it's torture. We don't go to the beach together very often. His failure to sit in the sun with me for hours on end doesn't mean our marriage is in jeopardy.

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Im just really hurt by things she said or did or didnt do and how she made me feel. So hurt for someone i made sure was special and made feel secure.

My best girl mate told me i should make a girl im dating feel special and not make her feel insecure.

Like for example i asked her on a third date to a nice dinner. I asked if she was free on his day . She replied with "can do". That was hurtful.

If a guy responded that to you girls how would u feel?

 

She even once said that she didnt want me to get her car wash together as i would do something annoying like put my arm around her. That was really hurtful. My arm js not annoying i tried to tell her.

Is it the same feeling you girls get if a man said thhe samw thing to you or am i just a pussy?

 

You missed the forest for the trees on this girlfriend. Red flags abounded with her. She consistently made it clear she wasn't interested. You can't expect a woman to be excited and enthusiastic about everything you want to do, but her statement of not wanting you to put your arm around her in public is a real problem.

 

No, I would not want to go to the carwash with you...I think you can manage that on your own. Do you expect your girlfriend to be joined at the hip with you at all times?

 

"Can do" seems a bit flippant, but I wouldn't worry about it too much if it was the *only issue*, and a small discussion on communication can go a long way, but stockpiling a seemingly flippant comment on top of other signals of non-interest, this comment is a bigger issue. You had lots of signals you refused to see.

 

I understand you're trying to get your bearings on what's normal, and I think you need to try to not take one thing as a sign of doom, but do pay attention to multiple behaviors that suggest non-interest. She seemed rather slow and uninterested in spending time with you, had better things to do, and avoided any PDA...I can't remember what else, but it was a conglomeration of "YOU didn't take the hint and move on." It's sad she couldn't/didn't just tell you and led you on, but it happens.

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Im just really hurt by things she said or did or didnt do and how she made me feel. So hurt for someone i made sure was special and made feel secure.

My best girl mate told me i should make a girl im dating feel special and not make her feel insecure.

Like for example i asked her on a third date to a nice dinner. I asked if she was free on his day . She replied with "can do". That was hurtful.

If a guy responded that to you girls how would u feel?

 

She even once said that she didnt want me to get her car wash together as i would do something annoying like put my arm around her. That was really hurtful. My arm js not annoying i tried to tell her.

Is it the same feeling you girls get if a man said thhe samw thing to you or am i just a pussy?

 

And how did that feel to be treated like this? Bad right? Yes it would feel hurtful to me too and it would feel hurtful to a lot of people too.

 

That's not the point though. It's not about how people would feel, it's about how YOU feel. if YOU feel bad in a relationship you end it.

 

You need to trust how YOU feel, it's YOUR life it's not ours, it's not people's life, it's YOURS so YOU get to decide what feels good or not. Do you get that?

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I’ve gone through and read some of your old threads. It seems like you need to stop thinking there is some kind of dating rule book you have to abide by. No two relationships are the same. No two women are the same. It seeems unhealthy to me to obsess over previous experiences gone wrong or to overanalyze these hypothetical dating situations.

 

This this and this. There is a category of men - usually socially awkward, usually spent a lot of time on WoW or other RPG's, usually shy, usually sexually frustrated, who really REALLY want to turn dating into a guaranteed math equation, like their calculus class. Sort of Sheldon with a sex drive, so to speak.

 

That isn's how it works.

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