Westsidegrrl310 Posted September 24, 2017 Share Posted September 24, 2017 I met a great woman (she's a psychologist that owns her own practice) online. We went on a date and had a fantastic time! We had excellent physical and mental chemistry. She cupped my hands in her hands at the lunch table. We held hands afterwards when we walked around after lunch. We had a date planned for a week later but she cancelled it claiming she's too busy, has to get things in order and etc. I know she's very busy with 3 kids and also getting ready to open a second practice. We keep in touch by text and an occasional phone call (for 3 mos now). She texted me a few weeks ago saying she'd "like us to go out on another date when she's ready". She has also said "we had an amazing date!" I have been trying to set another date up but nothing happens. I finally sent her a text mentioning how she approached me with wanting a second date and asked her if she truly feels we had an amazing date or not. This was her response and I just want some other opinions on how to take or make of this response: "HI Jenn...we did have a really nice first date. However, I think I am just so focused on getting my business up and moving... and honestly while I would like to be dating.... I have to just stay focused with the task...i am the only provider with my family...and while i think you re a really nice woman Jenn...I just think that our time is no lined up for a relationship right now...and I don't want you to feel like you are on hold for me... so while i appreciate that we had a connection... i think I have to just encourage you...as your friend.. because I would like us to be able to say that's what we are... to be okay with being friends... right now... my focus isn't a relationship...i hope you understand Jenn Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 24, 2017 Share Posted September 24, 2017 She's blowin ya off.....it a way so you don't feel bad about yourself. She was trying to be as kind as possible. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Westsidegrrl310 Posted September 24, 2017 Author Share Posted September 24, 2017 Well then she clearly strung me alone. Because just 2-3 weeks ago she was sending me "Good morning" texts and saying "she'd love to hear my voice" lol. Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted September 25, 2017 Share Posted September 25, 2017 As a single mom, my children were very young, and dating just didn't work out for me because you really are busy, and depending on the kids' ages, to go out also means a babysitter. If they see their father in the every other weekend rotation, I was never really up for hiring a sitter on my weekends I had the kids, and then on the weekends when I didn't, which was my free time, it meant I had to date instead of just decompressing, and it just started feeling like a job. With everything she has on her plate right now, I can certainly see that dating turned out to be a bad idea for her. The timing is off. She just can't dedicate the time necessary to nurture a new relationship. Obviously it could also be that despite your really great connection, she wasn't feeling it the same as you and just isn't interested in quite the same way. I question the relationship situation with same sex. I'm assuming she was married to a man, and I don't know what kind of conflict might be arising with the ex or family as it revolves around her liking girls. There are some hurdles to jump, particularly if the family is opposed to same sex relationships, but even with support, it seems like it could be a difficult transition and despite being a psychologist, she's not quite sure how or is not quite ready to tackle these issues. Just a thought. Has she dated others besides you? I wouldn't necessarily call her "stringing you along." For a period of time she was genuinely interested. It will stink even worse if her profile remains open. It hurts, I know, I've had it happen, but she was kind enough let you know rather than ghosting, and that says a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Westsidegrrl310 Posted September 25, 2017 Author Share Posted September 25, 2017 Thank you for the nice insight! Yes, she has dated other women and her kids knew her ex girlfriend. She just texted me this morning to say Hi. I think (but not 100%sure) that she is talking to a few of us and trying to establish a foundation built on friendship and possibly waiting until she hasn't more time. Just my hunch. Usually when someone isn't interested they do say "let's be friends", but usually don't follow thru and keep up contact. Link to post Share on other sites
Dis Posted September 25, 2017 Share Posted September 25, 2017 This is ridiculous OP, why did you think it was a good idea to keep talking for three months with no date planned? She was and is just keeping you on the back burner to have someone to talk to when she's bored No one is too busy for a date. If she liked you enough, she wouldve found the time to go out with you The fact that you had some sort of imaginery 'thing' with her for 3 months, allowing her to string you along with no end date in site is something you need to address with yourself I think you need to bump your standards wayyyyy up 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted September 25, 2017 Share Posted September 25, 2017 Oh God... I've had very similar situation except my date was a guy and we met up several times. I think you 1) accept her friendship with no expectations 2) tell her that you like her romantically and can't be her friend. I feel for you - my situation was similar and left me so exhausted and so many questions unanswered, that I find it VERY challenging to move on... I met a great woman (she's a psychologist that owns her own practice) online. We went on a date and had a fantastic time! We had excellent physical and mental chemistry. She cupped my hands in her hands at the lunch table. We held hands afterwards when we walked around after lunch. We had a date planned for a week later but she cancelled it claiming she's too busy, has to get things in order and etc. I know she's very busy with 3 kids and also getting ready to open a second practice. We keep in touch by text and an occasional phone call (for 3 mos now). She texted me a few weeks ago saying she'd "like us to go out on another date when she's ready". She has also said "we had an amazing date!" I have been trying to set another date up but nothing happens. I finally sent her a text mentioning how she approached me with wanting a second date and asked her if she truly feels we had an amazing date or not. This was her response and I just want some other opinions on how to take or make of this response: "HI Jenn...we did have a really nice first date. However, I think I am just so focused on getting my business up and moving... and honestly while I would like to be dating.... I have to just stay focused with the task...i am the only provider with my family...and while i think you re a really nice woman Jenn...I just think that our time is no lined up for a relationship right now...and I don't want you to feel like you are on hold for me... so while i appreciate that we had a connection... i think I have to just encourage you...as your friend.. because I would like us to be able to say that's what we are... to be okay with being friends... right now... my focus isn't a relationship...i hope you understand Jenn 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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