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How do I date when i am a very high sex drive male?


Big Boss

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Hi recently divorced. We just didnt get along. She stopped having sex and i stopped doing my roles in the relationship. I spelled it out from the beginning that i needed sex 2+ times a week with a minimum of 2 rounds each time. She couldn't fulfill that. When we did it she would cry and complain it hurt and eventually she stopped altogether. I stayed faithful but just became angry. She nagged about things and other stuff like me looking at porn. I will admit when im super horny and getting teased i can be one of the biggest a$$ holes. I mean she would walk around in her underwear and everything. There were other issues but all the complaints she had about me were because she wasnt having sex.

 

Anyway now i am trying to get back out meeting women and its tough because i havent had sex in such a long time that now i am preoccupied with it. I just cant take my mind off of sex.

 

What can i do?

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Farfromthemadding

You could try being more respectful instead of laying out your sexual demands, thinking you're being 'teased' and acting like an *******. And maybe wank before a date.

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You could try being more respectful instead of laying out your sexual demands, thinking you're being 'teased' and acting like an *******. And maybe wank before a date.

 

When i talked about being teased i meant my wife. She refused the walked around in underwear then get mad because i had an erection. I am not saying women i am trying to date now. Look at what i was saying

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While I am sure there are women who will be willing to match your drive, if you lead with that you will narrow the pool dramatically from the outset.

 

 

Find a FWB then date.

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While I am sure there are women who will be willing to match your drive, if you lead with that you will narrow the pool dramatically from the outset.

 

 

Find a FWB then date.

 

That is what i have been trying to do but no luck

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You probably should approach sex diferently. Your ex cried during sex and told you it hurt, but you only seem concerned about getting it at least twice a week.

 

This is pretty much how to turn off a woman. I have a pretty high sex drive, but being told how often I should have sex shuts it down instantly.

 

If you can't help it watch porn, sign up on a sex website or go see a professional.

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Just date a lot of women at the same time until you find one you match with sexually and emotionally. Note: this may take years.

 

I find people who won't please a partner selfish. Doesn't hurt to give a bj or go down on her.

 

There were many times I wasn't in the mood but I have no issue with giving an orgasm to satisfy my partner with hands / mouth / toys.

 

Just because I might not be in the mood doesn't mean that I don't want my partner to be satisfied. It's difficult to find women who share the same mindset I've found.

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your sex drive is not the highest, two enthusiastic nights per week is quite high, but not the nightmare that your wife would have you believe

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You probably should approach sex diferently. Your ex cried during sex and told you it hurt, but you only seem concerned about getting it at least twice a week.

 

This is pretty much how to turn off a woman. I have a pretty high sex drive, but being told how often I should have sex shuts it down instantly.

 

If you can't help it watch porn, sign up on a sex website or go see a professional.

I was concerned about it then it became she has a latex allergy so i found non latex condoms. I did everything to accommodate that woman that was why i got angry. I spelled that out in the beginning not very beginning but when we became exclusive so it would be like if you cant handle this then we need to go our separate ways

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your sex drive is not the highest, two enthusiastic nights per week is quite high, but not the nightmare that your wife would have you believe

 

Two nights minimum i prefered 5 nights a week with me doing it each night with a minimum of at least twice. I will do it ejaculate then i am right back erect like ni rest period

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Have you tried the bar scene or Tinder?

 

 

If you are going that route do get tested for STD's including HIV/AIDS routinely as well as practice safe sex.

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Farfromthemadding

You sound rather bitter about your ex which wouldn't be a turn on for most women. Why do you think you're entitled to guaranteed sex on tap? Why shouldn't your wife walk around in her underwear? Obviously an active sex life is great but most relationships go through phases and by your own admission you were an ********* about it. You sound very selfish and unpleasant, not surprised you're divorced and I feel sorry for any woman who gets involved with you.

 

Tease...ffs. Go back to the 1970s!

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Cookiesandough

Sorry if I'm off the mark, but this sounds more like an ex wife rant with a virility humble brag sprinkled in more than actual advice seeking . You date the same way as all the other horny men out there.

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You sound rather bitter about your ex which wouldn't be a turn on for most women. Why do you think you're entitled to guaranteed sex on tap? Why shouldn't your wife walk around in her underwear? Obviously an active sex life is great but most relationships go through phases and by your own admission you were an ********* about it. You sound very selfish and unpleasant, not surprised you're divorced and I feel sorry for any woman who gets involved with you.

 

Tease...ffs. Go back to the 1970s!

 

I never thought i was entitled but you meet each others needs in a relationship. It was beyond the being in her underwear that made me call her a tease. Also two relationship counselors called her that and they were women. If you are not going to offer anything constructive and attempt to call me some chauvinist then its best you not offer any input.

 

I did what i had to do. I am a believer that foreplay extends beyond kissing and physical. Its stimulatimg the mental. I did that everyday not just when i wanted sex. Sounds like you really need to read fully what i am saying to get a full scope of the situation. I was upset because i did everything i could do and went above and beyond but the dog got more attention than me.

 

Anyway the focus here is me dating again hence this thread is in the dating section

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Sorry if I'm off the mark, but this sounds more like an ex wife rant with a virility humble brag sprinkled in more than actual advice seeking . You date the same way as all the other horny men out there.

 

I am not bragging. I just being honest. I am not going to say i am the best lover out here. Hell my drive is attacted to one person. Im not looking for multiple hookups but the long dry spell messes with me

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That's not a very high sex drive many women can meet and exceed that. But the attitude is harder to swallow, pun intended.

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When i talked about being teased i meant my wife. She refused the walked around in underwear then get mad because i had an erection. I am not saying women i am trying to date now. Look at what i was saying

 

It's called dressing comfy at home. A near-naked woman is STILL not an invitation to have sex. It's sad because some women feel they can't even give some just affection to their mates or he'll want sex right then and there, as if all there is to love is sex.

 

I don't feel you're that oversexed, however. If a woman can't do twice in a row, and many can IF you're getting them off, then get yourself off before you come to bed, so you only need it once. Two days a week should be okay until you get a baby to run you ragged, at which time you do half of that running ragged so you are more equally exhausted, to even out the sex drives and energy.

 

And try to remember, most women do not care if you masturbate, though many object to porn. If you can masturbate without using porn, most women would be fine with that.

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I never thought i was entitled but you meet each others needs in a relationship.

 

What was she like before you married her? Was she 5+ X/week-2x a pop? What kind of discussions did you have before you married her on what you needed from her when you married her?

 

It can become a chore once it is expressed as a demand.

 

If she was crying and saying it hurt, then you were being too rough. Every women has and is entitled to honoring their threshhold for pain. They have to walk around with the pain after you're done feeling great about yourself.

 

She may be your wife, but she's not your property. She is the sovereign of her own body, as are all women. If they say it hurts, then hear that and adjust yourself. You'll get further doing that than punishing them with rough sex. Understand that and you may fare better in your future pursuits of sexual partners.

Edited by kendahke
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I have a very high sex drive and more like every day, multiple times, if possible. When I date, I am very affectionate, touchy and love to hug. It doesn't take long, either physically and/or from conversations early on, that sex and intimacy is very important to me.

 

I'm not certain what you're asking. Communicating your needs are important, so communicate them. Waiting a few dates, but definitely communicate your desires.

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What was she like before you married her? Was she 5+ X/week-2x a pop? What kind of discussions did you have before you married her on what you needed from her when you married her?

 

It can become a chore once it is expressed as a demand.

 

If she was crying and saying it hurt, then you were being too rough. Every women has and is entitled to honoring their threshhold for pain. They have to walk around with the pain after you're done feeling great about yourself.

 

She may be your wife, but she's not your property. She is the sovereign of her own body, as are all women. If they say it hurts, then hear that and adjust yourself. You'll get further doing that than punishing them with rough sex. Understand that and you may fare better in your future pursuits of sexual partners.

 

You are assuming too much. Please go back and read what i said. I never thought that and i gave a minimum of 2x a week with 2x a pop. I did everything to accommodate her lube more foreplay everything i could think of and even did everything she wanted but after a while she stopped. I genuinely was hurt and felt rejected so i stopped doing the things i use to because i tried harder and had no luck.

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It's called dressing comfy at home. A near-naked woman is STILL not an invitation to have sex. It's sad because some women feel they can't even give some just affection to their mates or he'll want sex right then and there, as if all there is to love is sex.

 

I don't feel you're that oversexed, however. If a woman can't do twice in a row, and many can IF you're getting them off, then get yourself off before you come to bed, so you only need it once. Two days a week should be okay until you get a baby to run you ragged, at which time you do half of that running ragged so you are more equally exhausted, to even out the sex drives and energy.

 

And try to remember, most women do not care if you masturbate, though many object to porn. If you can masturbate without using porn, most women would be fine with that.

 

I understand being comfortable but there were other things she did that made me call her a tease. Plus if i have to take care of it I am doing it the way i see fit. If she had meet my needs then i would jave never resorted to that

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I understand being comfortable but there were other things she did that made me call her a tease. Plus if i have to take care of it I am doing it the way i see fit. If she had meet my needs then i would jave never resorted to that

 

No woman is obligated to meet your needs. What about HER needs? If she doesn't want to have sex as often as you , that is HER need, and you're not meeting her need for you to back off and stop acting like sex is the only reason you're in a relationship. It's insulting. You're going to downward spiral.

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You are assuming too much. Please go back and read what i said. I never thought that and i gave a minimum of 2x a week with 2x a pop. I did everything to accommodate her lube more foreplay everything i could think of and even did everything she wanted but after a while she stopped. I genuinely was hurt and felt rejected so i stopped doing the things i use to because i tried harder and had no luck.

 

I'm not assuming anything.

 

I asked:

 

What was she like before you married her? Was she 5+ X/week-2x a pop?

 

Because YOU said in your reply to darkmoon:

i prefered 5 nights a week with me doing it each night with a minimum of at least twice.

 

I didn't pull those numbers out of thin air.

 

My question was what was she like when you were dating her? Or did you wait until marriage to have sex with her and thus had no inkling as to her threshold and preference for frequent sex? Funny how you didn't answer that question but instead attacked me for asking what you directly said.

Edited by kendahke
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I'm not assuming anything.

 

I asked:

 

 

 

Because YOU said in your reply to darkmoon:

 

 

I didn't pull those numbers out of thin air.

 

My question was what was she like when you were dating her? Or did you wait until marriage to have sex with her and thus had no inkling as to her threshold and preference for frequent sex? Funny how you didn't answer that question but instead attacked me for asking what you directly said.

 

4x a week before marriage then it just went downhill. After that i got told i should be happy whenever i get sex

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