Frustrated about this girl that I like.

[Tim1]

So about a month ago I met this girl. She was smart and beautiful and soon we started texting. She had very unusual response times. Usually an hour or more after I texted. We initially agreed to a date. We liked each other and she even said she hopes we go on a second date. I texted her the next day and she needed an entire day to respond. For the next couple of days we were texting with half a day long intervals or more(I was also responding with the same response time as I didn't want to come off desperate or anything). I asked if she wants to go have a drink. She said ok but only after two weeks because she is absent. So combine that with long response times and I thought perhaps she lost interest and I didn't want to continue something thats going nowhere. So I texted that if she didn't like me she can just say it to me directly and I will stop texting her. She responded relatively quickly this time, saying why do I think that, etc., I really cant go on a drink before {date}. I texted ok, give me your number than I will call you after you come home. She responded the next day with a message but didn't give me the phone number with it. Where am I supposed to go there? Should I stop pursuing her? We are both still teenagers by the way, I am 19, she 18, so she is not busy working or anything.

 

Thanks in advance.

[d0nnivain]

If you could possibly stop texting & start talking that would help.

 

She told you that she was busy. You concluded that she's not telling you the truth because she is not working. How do you know that she's not busy doing something else -- family obligation; studying; getting a tan; dating other men; getting medical treatment, etc.?

 

You are right that she is not the typical teenager glued to her phone.

 

There is some indication of low interest but if she has now agreed to go out for this drink, do that & then see where you are. You really can't tell much based on texts or the frequency of same.

[Ieris]

Personally I would stop pursuing her, it doesn't sound like she is bothered with you. Busy or not, if you are into someone you make time for them even if it's 30 seconds to reply to a message. You're not even worth that effort to her so don't waste anymore time.

[Versacehottie]

So about a month ago I met this girl. She was smart and beautiful and soon we started texting. She had very unusual response times. Usually an hour or more after I texted. We initially agreed to a date. We liked each other and she even said she hopes we go on a second date. I texted her the next day and she needed an entire day to respond. For the next couple of days we were texting with half a day long intervals or more(I was also responding with the same response time as I didn't want to come off desperate or anything). I asked if she wants to go have a drink. She said ok but only after two weeks because she is absent. So combine that with long response times and I thought perhaps she lost interest and I didn't want to continue something thats going nowhere. So I texted that if she didn't like me she can just say it to me directly and I will stop texting her. She responded relatively quickly this time, saying why do I think that, etc., I really cant go on a drink before {date}. I texted ok, give me your number than I will call you after you come home. She responded the next day with a message but didn't give me the phone number with it. Where am I supposed to go there? Should I stop pursuing her? We are both still teenagers by the way, I am 19, she 18, so she is not busy working or anything.

 

Thanks in advance.

 

Ok, bolded above, don't ever say that again. It's ugh, wuss stuff. She is most definitely reluctant. Avoiding the question (when you asked for her phone number) is a no. Ball is in her court. She sounds like she is marginally interested, and not much more. She may gain interest if you start "losing" it. Good luck

[smackie9]

Just back off. Here's a tip.....if someone is lukewarm with communication, they are not really that into you. Sure a date can go well, I had plenty of those growing up, but it didn't mean I was into the guy. I just had a good time....no romantic interest. Saying yes to another date? meh that doesn't hold much value, they can just be saying the to avoid telling them the truth. You have to go by their actions. She's not clamoring to see you again, she doesn't sound excited to talk with you, she didn't bother to give yo her number....so the writing on the wall my friend.

[The Urbanyst]

She is not that interested and just playing games. Most likely she just likes attention and is stringing you along. A lot of girls do this nonsense at that age.

 

You are making a fool of yourself. Stop texting her. Start meeting other girls.

 

New relationships should be fun, not frustrating.

[knabe]

You're both being reticent and playing games. And you're thinking wayy too much. Either ask her or don't, but stop analyzing everything .

[kendahke]

She said ok but only after two weeks because she is absent. So combine that with long response times and I thought perhaps she lost interest and I didn't want to continue something thats going nowhere. So I texted that if she didn't like me she can just say it to me directly and I will stop texting her.

 

Did you let the two weeks pass like she asked before you sent the cringy text?

 

She responded relatively quickly this time, saying why do I think that, etc., I really cant go on a drink before {date}.

 

Bad form sending that.

 

I texted ok, give me your number than I will call you after you come home. She responded the next day with a message but didn't give me the phone number with it. Where am I supposed to go there? Should I stop pursuing her?

 

You were supposed to wait 2 weeks til she was done with whatever it was that, right now, is more important than drinks with you.

 

We are both still teenagers by the way, I am 19, she 18, so she is not busy working or anything.

 

You dont' know what her obligations are which may be just as demanding on her as working. Even if she's doing nothing, she told you she could see you in two weeks and your insecurity wouldn't let you wait. You might want to work on developing some stronger self discipline.