mtp Posted August 15, 2017 Share Posted August 15, 2017 A couple days ago, my bf & I were out when we ran into a close female friend of his. They chatted for a while & were playful with each other. After she left, he asked me if their friendship made me uncomfortable. They became friends after we started going out, and I didn't say anything for months because I trusted him & respected his friendships, but I couldn't help feeling a little jealous over how close they were and how often he talked about her. So when he brought it up and seemed considerate of my feelings & didn't want to do anything to offend me, I decided to be honest about my feelings. He told me that there's nothing going on between them, nothing to worry about and said “We’re not having sex if that makes you feel better.” And the whole thing blew up into a fight and we decided to take a break. When we were laying the terms for the break, he said that we could see other people during this time and "explore other options", and "jokingly" mentioned the girl as an example. Then day right after, he actually hung out with the other girl and posted it all over snapchat. I know that technically, he's not breaking any rules, but the way he flaunt it feels extremely immature and inconsiderate of my feelings. Am I being too emotional/sensitive about this? Should I just move on and walk away from this relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 15, 2017 Share Posted August 15, 2017 The rule he broke was him blatantly lying about nothing going on between them. Nail him for it or better yet, boot him to the curb. Sounds like he manipulated you into a break just so he could go out with her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
enddeck Posted August 15, 2017 Share Posted August 15, 2017 He manipulated you like a pro.Now he gets to see her and if they don't work out you are waiting in the sideline. Welcome to life as plan B. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted August 15, 2017 Share Posted August 15, 2017 "breaks" don't work. Either you work thing out as a couple, or you don't. All breaks do is extend a break up period. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 15, 2017 Share Posted August 15, 2017 I know that technically, he's not breaking any rules, but the way he flaunt it feels extremely immature and inconsiderate of my feelings. Am I being too emotional/sensitive about this? Should I just move on and walk away from this relationship? Yes and block him from contacting you and block yourself from viewing his social media. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted August 15, 2017 Share Posted August 15, 2017 Sensitivity chip is definitely missing in this guy. I don't necessarily think anything has gone on with this girl-but maybe he wants it to. Most importantly, if he wants to turn a break into a permanent break up, he's doing a bang up job. I would dump him on that alone. It's disrespectful and cruel and you can do better. The way the "break" was posed in your scenario sounds like he wants to explore options with other girls and that shouldn't be ok with you. It will break your trust with him and well then you are just wasting time to move forward with him in the future. You are not being overly sensitive. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted August 15, 2017 Share Posted August 15, 2017 The rule he broke was him blatantly lying about nothing going on between them. Nail him for it or better yet, boot him to the curb. Sounds like he manipulated you into a break just so he could go out with her. I'll take the opposite view, which is at leas possible. There is nothing going on between them other than friendship, but OPs jealousy and paranoia made him want to rub her nose in her bias. That's unkind, but I think he's just making a point by blatantly posting lots of detail. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OatsAndHall Posted August 15, 2017 Share Posted August 15, 2017 "breaks" don't work. Either you work thing out as a couple, or you don't. All breaks do is extend a break up period. I agree with this. I think it's best to either work through things as a couple or just move on. It's best to move on if you've gotten to the point where you don't even want to be around one another. No, he didn't "technically" break any rules. But, he certainly crossed a boundary by dating this woman that you two had been arguing over. Link to post Share on other sites
Robratory Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 A couple days ago, my bf & I were out when we ran into a close female friend of his. They chatted for a while & were playful with each other. After she left, he asked me if their friendship made me uncomfortable. They became friends after we started going out First, men do not make "friends" with women. Oh, I know that to have a friendship pure as the driven snow with a woman is every SNAG's (Sensitive New Age Guy) dream come true, but it's nonsense. Men approach women because they're interested in them as women. And keep in mind, he met her after you and he became a couple, so it's not like she's the girl next door he grew up around, the sister he never had. No, no, no... if your boyfriend is hanging out with this girl, it's because he likes her. I mean, he's not hanging out with because he doesn't like her, is he? I suspect he went for it, and she said no, because you have a girlfriend, but she doesn't mind going out on platonic dates with him because she has nothing better to do plus she can easily defuse whatever guilt she feels by remembering that she's not having sex with him and they're "just friends." I wouldn't allow it. If you were married twenty-five years and a divorce would leave him poor and you rich, then you might consider tolerating him having a no-sex girlfriend, but in a young relationship? Hell, no. Link to post Share on other sites
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