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Would you date a woman who exhbits attention seeking behaviors?


andrewmcneil84

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andrewmcneil84

I dated a woman briefly and we broke things off. We had good chemistry but the timing was off. I would love to reconnect with her but she was not kind to me in the end. I really cared for this woman but she ran hot and cold. One day I thought she really cared about me, then she would run cold and act like I was invisible. It's been about 3 months since we last spoke.

I removed her accounts from all social media to make a clean break. I have a public Instagram account that I rarely post on and I have very few followers all of which I people I know personally. Every couple of weeks this one girl who I have never met likes a photo on my feed. I looked at her feed to see who she was and she has a lot of photos of her with the girl I was seeing of whom I no longer communicate with. I have no friends in common with the woman that I dated at one time or her friend, they live in Michigan and I live in Arizona. I am not quite sure how she found my Instagram or liked such random posts, for example a photo of a fire pit at my parents house for a mothers day cook-out.

Likely coincidence or no?

 

Thanks in advance for all replies :)

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Who knows? It's not this woman / EX trying to get your attention. If she wanted to talk to you, she knows how to get in touch. this other chick, the one you don't know who is liking your stuff may very well have simply thought it was a nice picture of the fire, nothing more.

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Stay away from hot/cold people....that spells insecurity. it's a personality trait. Seeing her again, you will get the same results. Therapists recommend you stop, drop and run for the hills asap.

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andrewmcneil84

I dated a woman briefly and we broke things off. In the past we have always reached out after a certain time period of silence, either her or me initiating. I really cared for this woman but she ran hot and cold. One day I thought she really cared about me, then it would seem as though I was an option among many other contenders. It's been about 3 months since we last spoke.

I removed and blocked all of her accounts from all social media to make a clean break. I just couldnt bring myself to leave those channels of communication open because my heart can only take so much. I have a public Instagram account that I rarely post on and I have very few followers all of which I people I know personally. Every couple of weeks this one girl who I have never met likes a photo on my feed. I looked at her feed to see who she was and she has a lot of photos of her with the girl I was seeing of whom I no longer communicate with. I have no friends in common with the woman that I dated at one time or her friend, they live in Michigan and I live in Arizona. I am not quite sure how she found my Instagram or liked such random posts, for example a photo of a fire pit at my parents house for a mothers day cook-out. The girl I dated cant see my stuff because shes blocked, so how is her friend from across the country stumbling across my insignificant posts and liking them?

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Does it really matter? If you're magnifying this in to some sort of indication that she is trying to connect, let it go. She's shown you time and time again that she is emotionally unreliable so it would be time for you to truly invest in moving on from her.

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andrewmcneil84

I really like this woman, we are both in our mid twenties. She is a classy girl in the sense that she is very well off and comes from a family of professionals. Her dad is a surgeon and her mother is a pharmacist. She is intelligent as well. She has several instagram accounts and over 3000 followers on one account alone. She was lucky enough to be born into wealth so she has the privilege of traveling the globe, going to some of the most exotic destinations that most people may never be fortunate enough to see. She often posts photos of herself scantily clad in tiny tops, bikinis and even nude and topless photos (with nipples edited out via photoshop) of her on private beaches in France, Italy and other beautiful destinations. Yet since she wears expensive quality clothing and comes from a good family it doesn't seem come off as trashy, more like artsy. Many men like her photos online, in excess of about 70+ at a minimum and she has many admirers. The more admiration she gets, it seems the more she posts these type of photos. All of her accounts are fully public. What are your thoughts on dating a woman like this?

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andrewmcneil84

I am interested in a woman who seems like a great girl. She comes from a very good family, both of her parents are doctors. She is very smart and has a degree in art. She lives a very comfortable live and was fortunate enough to have her parents buy her a home and help her get off to a great start in life. The downside is that she is very much an attention seeker on social media. She has 2 instagram accounts, each with over 3000 followers. She posts a lot of photos of her on lavish vacations, at the beach, in a bikini, in suggestive clothing and even topless beach photos with photoshop used to censor. She typically gets 70+ likes on every photo that she posts and has a handful of men, at least 10-12 who worship her, like every single post and comment how she looks beautiful.

Would you date a woman like this?

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JuneJulySeptember
I am interested in a woman who seems like a great girl. She comes from a very good family, both of her parents are doctors. She is very smart and has a degree in art. She lives a very comfortable live and was fortunate enough to have her parents buy her a home and help her get off to a great start in life. The downside is that she is very much an attention seeker on social media. She has 2 instagram accounts, each with over 3000 followers. She posts a lot of photos of her on lavish vacations, at the beach, in a bikini, in suggestive clothing and even topless beach photos with photoshop used to censor. She typically gets 70+ likes on every photo that she posts and has a handful of men, at least 10-12 who worship her, like every single post and comment how she looks beautiful.

Would you date a woman like this?

 

Every single part of your description of her makes me wanna puke.

 

Except for the degree in art. Every other single one, the MD parents, the trust fund, the smugness, the Facebook superstardom ... :sick:

 

At least that's my opinion. You can tell how I roll. :bunny:

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What's her personality like? All you said was that she seems like a great girl.

 

Does she get paid for her instagram posts? A lot of people get paid for posting certain things on instagram. Is she one of them?

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Yes.

 

But there would be a long non-exclusive period where I sussed her out. For me that's a massive red-flag for anything serious.

 

Finding attractive women to have fun with is a very different (much easier) thing than finding a great girlfriend. Guys seem to confuse the two, and not think with their brains.

 

I'll give you an example of social media from a set I had last year, with a woman that I was starting to seriously consider for something high-investment.

 

Girl ticked all the girlfriend boxes. Attractive, great connection, good cook, high-interest, everything you could want. And she was very clever in breaking down my defenses over time. The girl had game :D

 

But, as I drew out the non-committed phase of our relationship, cracks started to develop through the front. She starts talking about this "friend" of hers who was coming over from America to stay for a weekend...

 

So, I thought, fair enough. Leave them to it. I'll go out drinking with my mates. Lad's weekend.

 

Then, after that weekend, she starts asking me questions in the indirect manner (as girls do) of "has anyone ever cheated on you before? What did you do?". I said "yeah, I dumped her".

 

Then she changed it to trying to bring up potential threesomes and the like...

 

But, I'm not so easily manipulated lol. Eventually, I started to catch on that her friend from America might be more than that. So, I proper stalked her Facebook, going through all the stuff that I normally wouldn't. Checking all the comments with a very critical eye... and what a surprise! Her female friend was flirting with her, and basically orbiting her in a clever way.

 

People who say that social media doesn't matter don't know what they are on about. It's a direct reflection of a person's sensibilities. And women who are happy to have people pursuing them over it, stocking up on orbiters or whatever, are not good girlfriend material.

Edited by Bastile
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[...]

Finding attractive women to have fun with is a very different (much easier) thing than finding a great girlfriend. Guys seem to confuse the two, and not think with their brains.

[...]

 

You'd have my vote for the quote of the day. ;)

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I really like this woman, we are both in our mid twenties. She is a classy girl in the sense that she is very well off and comes from a family of professionals. Her dad is a surgeon and her mother is a pharmacist. She is intelligent as well. She has several instagram accounts and over 3000 followers on one account alone. She was lucky enough to be born into wealth so she has the privilege of traveling the globe, going to some of the most exotic destinations that most people may never be fortunate enough to see. She often posts photos of herself scantily clad in tiny tops, bikinis and even nude and topless photos (with nipples edited out via photoshop) of her on private beaches in France, Italy and other beautiful destinations. Yet since she wears expensive quality clothing and comes from a good family it doesn't seem come off as trashy, more like artsy. Many men like her photos online, in excess of about 70+ at a minimum and she has many admirers. The more admiration she gets, it seems the more she posts these type of photos. All of her accounts are fully public. What are your thoughts on dating a woman like this?

 

She is a classy girl in the sense that she is very well off and comes from a family of professionals -- well off and being from a family of professionals doesn't make a person "classy". Classy is how a person conducts themself to reflect internal compass and sense of being. A person of a, let's say, a lesser family background, can be classy as well.

 

Personally, I find this kind of behavior as attention seeking and an indicator that her family connection and relationship with them to be lacking in some way or another.

 

She seeks validation from external sources which to me says her inner core is somehow unfulfilled. Putting up a couple of vacation pics in a swimsuit now and again isn't a big deal, but if it's all about her and attention-seeking, I'd be careful about dating her.

 

Yet since she wears expensive quality clothing and comes from a good family it doesn't seem come off as trashy -- An expensive string tied around an otherwise well-exposed body posted for the public and for attention-seeking, is still less than "classy". If she wanted to be more classy, a few pictures of the surroundings and beauty of the region she's visiting with some of the other people she's with would help.

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GunslingerRoland

Wealthy and classy aren't the same thing.

 

But then again for that matter exhibitionist and unclassy aren't necessarily the same thing.

 

Regardless this woman wants the whole world to see her nude... you have to decide how you feel about that.

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She likes the attention & she's unlikely to stop doing this.

 

 

I don't think you should date her because you are already concerned about this & her refusal to stop will annoy you to the point it will destroy the relationship. Keep following her. Enjoy the pictures but don't date her.

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She's exhibitionistic because she's attention seeking. I 100% agree with Redhead on that. If you date this woman and then marry her, she'll still be seeking attention from other men and you'll have no defense because you dated someone you knew was doing that. And if she's attention seeking online, she'll be that way in real life too to some extent. She'll be sneaking around flirting and cultivating admirers. Nothing classy about that. Her self-worth is low in some area for her to feel the need to get admiration from strangers bad enough to put her nearly nude body out there for all to see.

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Folks, it appears the thread starter has posted content on a similar topic in four threads, actually more but we deleted direct duplicates without responses, so we've merged those items into one catch-all thread and will leave any duplicate or similar content for your perusal. Thanks for your input, please continue and note that responses may be delayed.

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andrewmcneil84

This woman is in her early twenties. I am interested in her but so are half of the other men who interact with her online. She has a strong presence on social media with over 3.5k followers on just one of her accounts. She is wealthy and comes from a good background and she doesn't post anything trashy but sometimes she appears to be very obviously attention seeking.

She will posts photos and videos of herself online in a bikini hinting in the description that she wants to see how many of her followers will like the posts.

She also frequently posts flirty and sexually suggestive comments to go along with her photos. For example a silhouette photo of her doing yoga in the nude in her yard with a caption that say "It's good to feel everything, to take it all in slowly, every inch, let it consume you until you climax " with a wink face etc. She makes all of her suggestive posts seem artsy as she has a masters degree in Art.

The good things about her are that she is athletic, gorgeous. 5'11, beautiful blue eyes, perfect hour glass figure and a hollywood smile. She is smart, she has a job making 6 figures and she owns her own home that her dad got her as a graduation gift. She is a great cook, she is fun and laid back and she is very outgoing and social. Her family is incredible and kind as well.

 

Worth the risk of pursuing?

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mortensorchid

Um, no.

 

You are in the Pay Attention to Me Club for this gal. She's not interested in you or anyone else.

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Do you even know this person, or are you a follower of her account(s) and considering trying to strike something up? I ask because your entire view of her does not mention a single thing about her real-life personality. If this is the case, don't bother approaching her.

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