We ghosted each other

[Moodi]

I’m 27 she’s 25 and we live in NYC (it makes a difference)

 

 

 

I broke up with a woman I was dating for two years (1 year long distance) and it was about as mutual and understanding as a break up can be. We still cared but we weren’t romantic. I felt fine about it and excited to be single but I wanted to focus on myself for a while and a lot of that was rebuilding my social circle which I kind of neglected with the long distance as an excuse.

 

 

 

Well life doesn’t care about plans sometimes and this woman matched with me on bumble almost immediately and we hit it off and chatted for a week. Then we went on three dates and the chemistry was great. We texted a reasonable amount and chatted some while at work but I wouldn’t say it was overkill. She was definitely feeling me and would joke about picking our wedding colors, “10 dates with you would be goals”, and just generally telling me I’m a catch a lot more than I said to her. Honestly, I haven’t dated a woman of her looks before because frankly after a year of weight lifting I’ve never looked this good and it was a little bit of a mental battle in this city with so much success and wealth competing with you.

 

 

 

So the last time we saw each other was when we met up one Saturday night and I stayed over, although neither of us had a condom so nothing fully happened. I messaged her later that day but I got kind of a meh response so I backed off and didn’t make a thing out of it. The next two days were busy for me, first it was an interview for a promotion (she knew I was going to have it, she didn’t know when) and the next day was my birthday (she knew it was that day, we joked we shouldn’t hang out that day which I was fine with.) Anyway after not hearing from her I packed it in for the long haul since I believe the ball is completely in her court.

 

 

 

It’s been about 5-6 weeks since then and we haven’t contacted each other at all although I can see that she looks at everything I post on snap and she likes my stuff on Instagram and I’ve done some of the same.

 

 

 

Obviously this is still on my brain. Right now I’m leaning toward giving it more time and letting things happen. I feel good about how I’ve been at work, at the gym and socially and I wouldn’t be destroyed. I think the biggest thing that bothers me is whenever I’ve had that kind of chemistry, especially when the woman is a big driver of it, things just work and for some reason we both backed off and I don’t think we know what happened.

 

 

 

So is this woman trying to send me signals, what should I do?

 

Tldr

4 great dates then we both backed off and now just stalk each other on social media

Edited May 22, 2017 by Moodi

[smackie9]

Dude let it go.....she's not into you. I think things got one sided....and you are not seeing it maybe?.

 

But hey, what was stopping you from contacting her? A lot of women expect the man to be a man and take the lead to show you value her.

Edited May 22, 2017 by smackie9

[Moodi]

Dude let it go.....she's not into you. I think things got one sided....and you are not seeing it maybe?.

 

But hey, what was stopping you from contacting her? A lot of women expect the man to be a man and take the lead to show you value her.

 

Yeah chill with whatever attitude you're giving me. She said she brought me up to her mom like two days before and called me after every date to talk about how good it was. She played some hard to get but she was the vocal once about her interest.

 

Most evidence points to this is a case of both people backing off at the same time but didn't want it to end completely.

[Erik30]

I don't think she's sending you any signals, it seems like she actually ghosted you since she didn't even text or call you on your birthday. (If I read it right)

 

Likes on social media don't mean anything, people like the attention. When you stopped contacting her, she hasn't even reached out once... that probably means she's not that interested. A girl who is into you wouldn't let almost two months of no contact happen

[Kitchen]

Well, if she was really interested she would have contacted you on your birthday...but then again, she's thinking: "if he was really interested we'd still be talking but we're not, so I'm not going to contact him".

 

You said you got a meh response from her after your last date, and that was the last communication? What was your text and what did she write back?

 

Response may have sounded "meh" to you but you could have at least given it another shot. From her view she may have been expecting a response or another date, but never got it, so decided to move on.

 

After all, she called you after every date, maybe she was expecting you to show more interest, and assumed that you just may not be as into her and decided to back off.

 

Impossible to know for sure, but you should reach out to her again if you think she's worth it.

[act00]

I don't understand why you didn't just contact her. Telling her how your interview went that day would have been a great excuse, not that you need an excuse. Maybe she's playing the same game you are, which is, "I'm always the one calling after dates. I'm going to wait for him to call me this time." And you didn't.

 

If I find I'm the only one reaching out, eventually I just stop, as it is appears the other person isn't interested. You acted the part for sure. Move on.

[hercules22]

dont think there is such thing as 2 people ghosting each other . just looks like she ghosted you and liking posts on social media doesnt mean much

[grays]

Why did you feel like the ball was in her court? You had a date, you left her place the next morning, and then you decided it was her turn to make the next contact? Why?