fred123 Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 What if after a month of dating you like the girl and are invested? And she turns around and says she just wants to hang out and have fun and she is interested only b3cause she likes your company. She doesnt want to commit and is scared of liking someone etc etc. My question really is how do i handle this situation when you are already a bit invested in the girl. Is it too hard to keep it casual? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 I would back off to keep from investing further & getting hurt even more deeply. You two are not on the same page about the outcome you want. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 Stop seeing her and delete her from all of your social media. A month ago your life was just great without her so you'll be just fine without her now. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 Yes back away. You will just end up frustrated because she won't want anything more than casual, FWB at the most. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Guildford Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 Keep dating her, but keep telling yourself that this is not long term, you are going to have fun, and when it is over you just walk away. Also, date other women. The girl who took my virginity made it clear from the start that she would not be exclusive and I accepted that. Why? Because I was getting laid for the first time, and on a regular basis. We broke up after a few months and then I meet my future wife who was a virgin. Link to post Share on other sites
Grewd Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 Tell her you like her and that continue seeing her, but not having her is pure torture for a man. So decline the friendship and say you won't be seeing her anymore. Then and this is the important part, stay away, delete her from social media and don't be tempted to change your mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 Keep dating her, but keep telling yourself that this is not long term, When he said he was invested he meant he has developed attachment toward this woman. If he keeps dating her he won't be able to move on or date other women his heart will always be with this one. You cannot switch feelings off just like this. Your advice also suggest that he *uses* this woman till he meets another one. Emotionally mature adults don't do that, they just move on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 What if after a month of dating you like the girl and are invested? And she turns around and says she just wants to hang out and have fun and she is interested only b3cause she likes your company. She doesnt want to commit and is scared of liking someone etc etc. My question really is how do i handle this situation when you are already a bit invested in the girl. Is it too hard to keep it casual? Keep it remote. I wouldn't invest anymore hang out/fun time with her. I'd starve this off and go find someone else who wants what I want. I don't want anyone who is afraid of liking me to the point that they won't invest. Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 I suggest that you back off, start dating others, and when you find someone else who creates the same or greater level of interest, then you can consider hanging out with her as a friend, if that's still something you both want. At least start dating others to start disinvesting in this one. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 I would just tell her that you are backing off because obviously you two are wanting different things. Then block delete, move on. Please don't be a clinger, she already expressed she's not that into you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
hercules22 Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 yep got stop seeing her dont really have to delete her from social media u could just unfollow her so u dont see her content on your news feed. but if u feel like you will randomly go on her profile then you probably have to delete her 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 You stop further investment and go no contact. Remove yourself from all communication. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author fred123 Posted May 24, 2017 Author Share Posted May 24, 2017 (edited) yes i do have some feelings for her. i do think it could go somewhere. But she texts and intiates all the time. so i shouldnt just hang out with her? we have only made out once in 4 dates. i want to see her more than once a week. ps why they dont tell you from the start this? why after a month?!! Edited May 24, 2017 by fred123 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 yes i do have some feelings for her. i do think it could go somewhere. But she texts and intiates all the time. so i shouldnt just hang out with her? we have only made out once in 4 dates. i want to see her more than once a week. Hang out with her knowing that she doesn't want what you want and no amount of investment in her is going to change what she has said she feels until she tells you clearly that she's changed her mind. Being available all the time won't get her there. With some people, you have to close the candy store for them to understand that the sweetness aint' being given away for s&g's. ps why they dont tell you from the start this? why after a month?!! Maybe because she's weighing you against someone else for whom she's holding out? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 yes i do have some feelings for her. i do think it could go somewhere. But she texts and intiates all the time. so i shouldnt just hang out with her? we have only made out once in 4 dates. i want to see her more than once a week. ps why they dont tell you from the start this? why after a month?!! Because we don't know right from the start! That's what dating is about. You go on a few dates with someone and after 3-4 dates you decide if you like him enough or not. She did nothing wrong by telling you after 1 months (4 dates). Now, it doesn't matter you want to see her more often - she doesn't. That boat has sailed. Go out and find someone that does want to date you. Link to post Share on other sites
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