Murali_14 Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 (edited) So I`ve been seeing this girl for a month now and have had two dates. Both the dates were huge fun for the both of us especially the second one although I should mention that she was late for both the dates!. One thing that was bugging me from the start was that I had to initiate convo`s by texting or calling every time but I did it in a way so that I dont look needy (texting her or calling her every two days or three days to just check up on her or a good morning message.., and we have had fun conversations even when I was the initiator). I kinda got the vibe that she is not the kind of girl who initiates convo`s until she becomes comfortable so I did not make her do it. It was her birthday two weeks ago and we met up for a second date which went really well. I could sense that she was enjoying my company with fun conversations and lots of laughing. I told her two days later that I had a fun time and that we should do it again and she she was welcome to that thought. I continued on by initiating convo`s over text after that but there was a sudden change in the way she replied this time, all her texts were too short and to the point. I asked her if everything is fine between to which she said a firm yes. I called her like I used to once a week but this time she did not pick up. This happened twice in consecutive weeks after the second date but I still got replies to the texts I was sending but in a very cold way. I wanted to know what was going on so I asked her again if something is wrong, but only this time I told her that she is giving me the wrong vibe by being cold towards me. She confronted me by saying that it has only been two dates and that I should not get worked up so much. She also said she is the kinda of person who takes things slowly as she does not wanna jump into things. She also asked me to give her some time (I am guessing some time to herself as I feel I might have come out too strong by being too excited to know her and didn`t give her a chance to do so) and that she can`t be forced into conversations. I said sorry for being a bit pushy and left her to her thoughts. She and her ex are working together although he is married and she said she was completely over him but I heard her saying one time that he is still pursuing her. Have not reached out to her for three days as she asked for time, and have not heard anything from her either. Not sure if I should reach out to her again once she has cooled down or just let her contact me first. Need some suggestions on what to do guys!.. Edited April 8, 2017 by Murali_14 Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne08 Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 I would do exactly as she asks and give her the time she's asking for. Perhaps permanently. I hate to say this, but it sounds like she had little interest to begin with (not ever contacting you, waiting for you to set up dates) and now it sounds like she's completely lost interest (hence the not answering your calls, asking for time, the cold one worded responses). When a woman is interested, she's enthusiastic about meeting up with you and talking with you. Doesn't sound like that's the case here, but I would leave her be and see if she reaches back out to you. I would not be shocked to never hear from her again, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Murali_14 Posted April 8, 2017 Author Share Posted April 8, 2017 (edited) Would someone accept a second date if they were not interested?!... Kinda seems immature to just string me along.... Kinda bummed by her lethargic attitude towards dating though. I would at least expect a sorry for coming late for the date twice!... I am thinking of killing it off myself.. Edited April 8, 2017 by Murali_14 Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 It sounds like you did good with communication. It gives my heart joy when the man I dated makes it known he's into me and wants to see me again. The fact she has never initiated a conversation is a problem. She says she wants to take it slow. How much slower? Two dates in a four week time frame? That's quite the snail's pace all on its own. She is working with an ex-love interest. This is hard. He's putting pressure on her, she has feelings for him, but wants it to end, and it doesn't, and he's married. Talk about the love triangle. She is conflicted. Text can be misinterpreted, but I think you've gotten a good vibe that she's being short with you, and you're at a place where it's probably better not to continue pushing this. She doesn't want to rush. Yeah, two dates in a four week time frame is "rushing." <sarcasm> There is no "jumping" here. She's barely put her toe in the water. Find someone who has a bit more time and isn't emotionally bound to another guy. She says she's over him, but she's not. He's married and is still pursuing her, and they work together, so he's "in her face" every day, and until she can completely make a break, and he stops, it's going to be a continuing issue. You have reached out, and the ball is in her court now. I say you should really just let this one go. It was fun while it lasted, move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The411 Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 So I`ve been seeing this girl for a month now and have had two dates. Both the dates were huge fun for the both of us especially the second one although I should mention that she was late for both the dates!. One thing that was bugging me from the start was that I had to initiate convo`s by texting or calling every time but I did it in a way so that I dont look needy (texting her or calling her every two days or three days to just check up on her or a good morning message.., and we have had fun conversations even when I was the initiator). I kinda got the vibe that she is not the kind of girl who initiates convo`s until she becomes comfortable so I did not make her do it. It was her birthday two weeks ago and we met up for a second date which went really well. I could sense that she was enjoying my company with fun conversations and lots of laughing. I told her two days later that I had a fun time and that we should do it again and she she was welcome to that thought. I continued on by initiating convo`s over text after that but there was a sudden change in the way she replied this time, all her texts were too short and to the point. I asked her if everything is fine between to which she said a firm yes. I called her like I used to once a week but this time she did not pick up. This happened twice in consecutive weeks after the second date but I still got replies to the texts I was sending but in a very cold way. I wanted to know what was going on so I asked her again if something is wrong, but only this time I told her that she is giving me the wrong vibe by being cold towards me. She confronted me by saying that it has only been two dates and that I should not get worked up so much. She also said she is the kinda of person who takes things slowly as she does not wanna jump into things. She also asked me to give her some time (I am guessing some time to herself as I feel I might have come out too strong by being too excited to know her and didn`t give her a chance to do so) and that she can`t be forced into conversations. I said sorry for being a bit pushy and left her to her thoughts. She and her ex are working together although he is married and she said she was completely over him but I heard her saying one time that he is still pursuing her. Have not reached out to her for three days as she asked for time, and have not heard anything from my her either. Not sure if I should reach out to her again once she has cooled down or just let her contact me first. Need some suggestions on what to do guys!..A woman who is into you won't confuse you. Clearly her ex holds more sway so she's not emotionally available. Stop wasting time on her as every minute you waste with a girl who isn't into you is a minute you could be spending with one who is. Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 Would someone accept a second date if they were not interested?!... Kinda seems immature to just string me along.... Kinda bummed by her lethargic attitude towards dating though. I would at least expect a sorry for coming late for the date twice!... I am thinking of killing it off myself.. Because free dinners are cool for a lot of women. The fact she was late with no apologies says she's not interested. The cold short responses confirms it. There is nothing to end as you've been on two dates. Delete her number and never contact her again. As stated, when a girl is interested in you the signs are obvious. It's also obvious when they are not. You just have to know what to look for. This girl is obviously not interested in you. The good news is now you don't have to waste anymore time. Link to post Share on other sites
Life lessons Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 It doesn't seem that she's that interested. I would think if she were, she would welcome the contact. If I were you, I would definitely not reach out to her. I would wait to see if she reaches out to you. If she doesn't reach out to you then I would say that you need to move on. I actually feel like you should probably move on anyways because she doesn't seem to be that interested. Link to post Share on other sites
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