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His weird annoying habits are turning me off


Captiva92

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I've dated Nick for almost 2 years now and I love him but he does things that drive me bonkers and turn me off - does this mean I'm just not really into him? Here's what he does.

 

When we're anywhere - sitting together on the couch, dining at a restaurant or sitting in a movie theater - he bounces his leg repeatedly. This never ends - if we're lying in bed together he's rubbing his feet back and forth making a constant swishing sound (his legs stretched out with feet crossed rubbing together). If it ain't a bouncy knee or leg or him swishing his feet he's doing things in public that ANNOY the heck out of me.

 

He likes to suddenly get real touchy feely when we get out of his truck and walk in the parking lot towards the grocery store or mall. He'll walk into me and grab me or rub my back over and over and over or try to get all kissy faced. It's like suddenly being in public he has to show affection. I feel smothered by this and other things he does that just irritate me to no end.

 

He also laughs after anything I say. I think these are nervous ticks or habits but sheez - sometimes I'm telling him about something serious and he just makes this laugh and I stop and say "What is so funny?".

 

He's 47 and I'm 42 - he wants to get married but the thought of it turns my stomach because I get so annoyed by his nervous ticks. What causes the constant knee bouncing or leg shaking?

 

I commented to him about this because I always say "Can you please stop?". He says "I've got to constantly be in motion". I'm like "Uh, ok - whatever".

 

And the worst habit he has that really turns me off is his bragging. He brags about stuff I know isn't true - it's just things he says to boost his own ego. Most of it is just b.s. and I just look at him and say "Why do you say things like that to me?" and he'll say "I dunno".

 

After two years of this it's getting under my skin - the other day we were walking into a store and he leans into me while we're walking and starts groping me. I hate seeing other people displaying affection in public and I don't want people looking at us because he's suddenly all touchy feely and pawing at me. We're in our 40's and to me it's silly to see people doing this in public.

 

What do any of you think?

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laRubiaBonita

i think you are using these little quirks as a crutch to get out the relationship with him or at least to detatch from him.

 

i would re-evaluate.

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Originally posted by Captiva92

After two years of this it's getting under my skin

if it bugs u that much then find someone else. this sheeyat ain't gonna stop.

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IhavenoFREAKINclue

After a while you start noticing little things that bother you. That means your losing interest and are finding things like Rubia said. Sorry hunny but the relationship is only going downhill. You'll start noticing more and more of his annoying habits til you can't take it anymore and hit him with your shoe.

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He sounds restless (with his legs, etc), that's it. A lot of people do that.

 

If this is starting to bother you all of a sudden, please re-evaluate the relationship. Are you using this as an excuse to not like him? Does he still turn you on, make you laugh, etc?

 

Sounds like it's deeper rooted than just small annoyances.

 

And OTOH, are you in a position where you're 'perfect'? Probably not, because no one is. Maybe he has hang-ups with you and your actions or character? Or does he just love you for you, because you're you?

 

Weigh it out.

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ConfusedInOC
Originally posted by laRubiaBonita

i think you are using these little quirks as a crutch to get out the relationship with him or at least to detatch from him.

 

i would re-evaluate.

 

Agreed. My ex was like that. If she didn't use religion as a crutch, she uses school. I would have perferred her to just be straight up with me. I can handle it.

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The bouncing knee is pretty annoying :) I had an ex-coworker who use to do that all the time. It ended up shaking my computer monitor and drive me nuts. I would ask him to stop, and he'd laugh cos his wife hates him doing it too lol :(

 

As for all the other things, I would just be straight up with him and tell him you feel uncomfortable with public show of affection. If he cannot respect it, then maybe it's time to call it quits? If it makes you uncomfortable, you'll only end up resenting him.

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Originally posted by dgiirl

The bouncing knee is pretty annoying :) I had an ex-coworker who use to do that all the time. It ended up shaking my computer monitor and drive me nuts. I would ask him to stop, and he'd laugh cos his wife hates him doing it too lol :(

I had a friend like this, at least one part of his body would be moving all the time. He was a hyperactive type A personality and could not sit still for even 5 minutes. Used to piss the hell outta me. Very annoying. he always came off as nervous and anxious and that was a big turn off to many people. And wehn he would talk with you he would invade your personal space and stick his face right in yours. Uggh

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Alphamale - yep, he's definately a hyperactive Type A personality - he's also very self absorbed, nervous and anxious. Even his sisters have told me his knee/leg bouncing drives them up the wall.

 

He's too annoying for me and it is turning me off. I guess I'm "not really into him". I also can never quite trust him so that's another thing.......

 

He always seems sneaky and devious like he's hiding things - maybe because he's untrustworthy that's the cause of the leg bouncing thing. Also, when I catch him in little white lies his cheek will twitch.

 

Bizarre quirks of people - maybe he'll meet some girl who finds his annoying habits cute. I don't!

 

Thanks for the replies - it's interesting to hear other people's views!

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The swishy sound of your Mans feet in the covers is actually pissing me off and I've never met him :eek:

 

LOL sorry...

 

Honestly like others have pointed out.. these may all be things that have begun to annoy you more and more because perhaps you're looking for a reason to end it?

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SadAndLonely

Sometimes people with anxiety disorders will do things like that. Keep in mind that he might have OCD. Trust me, having OCD myself, I can tell you that it's NOT easy to "just stop doing it". You have to figure out if it's a deal-breaker for you or not.

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Originally posted by alphamale

I had a friend like this, at least one part of his body would be moving all the time. He was a hyperactive type A personality and could not sit still for even 5 minutes. Used to piss the hell outta me. Very annoying. he always came off as nervous and anxious and that was a big turn off to many people. And wehn he would talk with you he would invade your personal space and stick his face right in yours. Uggh

 

lol sounds like that Seinfeld episode :) Did he have bad breath?

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scarlyjones

Even I want to dump this guy. Yeah he IS annoying,....and NO,...its not just you. All this stuff being said could be true and probably is,..but,..this guy is too annoying to stay with. I have a strict no swish policy. Plus,.....dont try and shove your hands up my ass in public. Its PUBLIC for crying out loud. Ive always thought that guys who behave normally alone with you,...then suddenly in public they start groping you,...it means they are jealous and insecure. This is their way of showing their "ownership" over you. They're showing other men that "this girl whos ass and boobs Im groping here in Kmart is MINE"

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Originally posted by scarlyjones

They're showing other men that "this girl whos ass and boobs Im groping here in Kmart is MINE"

Hmmm....SCARYJONES....maybe u should go upscale and start shopping at Nordstroms :laugh:

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Originally posted by scarlyjones

Even I want to dump this guy. Yeah he IS annoying,....and NO,...its not just you. All this stuff being said could be true and probably is,..but,..this guy is too annoying to stay with. I have a strict no swish policy. Plus,.....dont try and shove your hands up my ass in public. Its PUBLIC for crying out loud. Ive always thought that guys who behave normally alone with you,...then suddenly in public they start groping you,...it means they are jealous and insecure. This is their way of showing their "ownership" over you. They're showing other men that "this girl whos ass and boobs Im groping here in Kmart is MINE"

 

:lmao:

 

*Merin is dying here*

 

NO SWISH POLICY!

Don't Swish with me! :laugh:

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scarlyjones

Nordstroms eh? lol..............maybe I will. That insecurity dealy, thingy I mentioned is something Ive noticed about guys in the past few years. Ownership is very important to men. They MUST own. Only,... women are more like a car or house. You dont REALLY OWN it until you've made all the payments.........Over time. But anyway,..they feel the need to show all others that you,..indeed,..are taken. Im suprised they dont piss around the perimeter of our homes. Guys,...listen up,......our asses may look shaply and cute,..but keep your paws off in public. Oh and we're not so thrilled about in private either. You look like a retard when you're grown man and acting like that coyote cartoon from "The Mask" Control yourselves. Ownership is NOT being conveyed when you act this way no matter what you may think. Forty Year old spaz is more the message you send. So please,....please stop the gropin, the swishin,...the belchin,...scratchin,.....lyin,......and oh lord please stop the fartin. Cuz,....ew.

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Originally posted by scarlyjones

Nordstroms eh? lol..............maybe I will. That insecurity dealy, thingy I mentioned is something Ive noticed about guys in the past few years. Ownership is very important to men. They MUST own. Only,... women are more like a car or house. You dont REALLY OWN it until you've made all the payments.........Over time. But anyway,..they feel the need to show all others that you,..indeed,..are taken. Im suprised they dont piss around the perimeter of our homes. Guys,...listen up,......our asses may look shaply and cute,..but keep your paws off in public. Oh and we're not so thrilled about in private either. You look like a retard when you're grown man and acting like that coyote cartoon from "The Mask" Control yourselves. Ownership is NOT being conveyed when you act this way no matter what you may think. Forty Year old spaz is more the message you send. So please,....please stop the gropin, the swishin,...the belchin,...scratchin,.....lyin,......and oh lord please stop the fartin. Cuz,....ew.

 

Probably a few threads down, there's some girl out there that's complaining about how her boyfriend doesn't show her enough affection in public. Are females ever satisfied?

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whichwayisup
if it bugs u that much then find someone else. this sheeyat ain't gonna stop.

 

And it's only going to get worse in life. Really need to re-think what you want and if you can put up with his habits. Remember too, he may gain MORE annoying habits and that is gonna drive you insane in 20-30 years from now.

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scarlyjones

Look, pal,......theres "affection" ie,...kissing, holding hands,...listening (yes, listening), and then theres "Grabing my ass,...staring at my tits,....grabbing my crotch,...........and not leaving me alone when I say "leave me alone" thats the kind of thing SHE was talking about. You dont have to be a damn blanket. Thats not affection,.....thats annoying.

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scarlyjones

Why is it always ALL or NOTHING with guys? If you show NO affection what so ever and we say something about it.....you dont just try and show a little affection,....no,..you go to the other extreme and hang all over us,...grab us in inappropriate ways in public and when we say stop,...Thats when you guys come back at us with "Arent you women EVER satisfied?" Try a happy medium you morons.

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You know I really didn't read much but something my mom told me makes so much sense...

 

It's those little things you miss when you're not together anymore. Those are the things that make him who he is and now it's getting to you?

 

Can you imagine laying in bed and him not being their rubbing his feet together? If he shows you affection in public it's because he's proud of being with you and wants the whole world to know he loves you, what's wrong with that??

 

I don't know but when my guy is holding my hand and suddenly stops and just grabs my back and picks me up and kisses me passiontaly I fall more and more for him...It's called passion. I love it, it doesn't bother me.

 

I think you're just not in love with him anymore...Let him go, so he can find someone who enjoys those things. I hope at that age my husband or SO feels that way after so many years...just my thought :o

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Your 42, not saying that is old or anything but you might want to re-evaluate and talk to him about the things that bother you and say that it is making you not feel the same about him. If he changes cool, if he doesn't, to the curb with him. He sounds like sort of, well for lack of a better word, a douchebag. Good luck.

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laRubiaBonita
Originally posted by Ty

Your 42, not saying that is old or anything but you might want to re-evaluate and talk to him about the things that bother you and say that it is making you not feel the same about him. If he changes cool, if he doesn't, to the curb with him. He sounds like sort of, well for lack of a better word, a douchebag. Good luck.

 

 

so what does her age have to do with your suggestion? :confused:

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I knew that would get said. Just mean't alot of people have found their life partners by then........ thats all I mean't by it.

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