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How to justify multidating


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Old 13th February 2017, 7:44 AM   #1
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How to justify multidating

Hi,

I am dating that girl since 2 or 3 weeks, and we now ended kissing twice. I can tell she is really interested.
However, 2 days ago I met someone else at a party and she seems to interest me even more.

How would you explain it to the first girl?
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Old 13th February 2017, 7:50 AM   #2
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I wouldn't, because you've made no agreement to be exclusive, and haven't come close to having sex. If it approaches the point of having sex, or she asks to be exclusive, then you either say yes to exclusivity, or say you're not yet ready to be exclusive, and may date others until you are sure you want commitment.

The point of dating is to meet various people and see how well you match. The best prospect is the one you ask for exclusivity, and date only that one while you figure out if it's really right for the longer term.
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Old 13th February 2017, 7:56 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by knight192 View Post
How would you explain it to the first girl?
"What are your feelings on multi dating?"
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Old 13th February 2017, 8:48 AM   #4
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If you previously told the 1st girl you were exclusive, what you did constitutes cheating. Just break up with the 1st girl.


If you never discussed exclusivity, you are free to multi-date no explanation needed. The key to success multi-dating is not throw it anybody's face. She really doesn't need to know she's not the only one unless you previously promised that she was.


Do not explain. Do not discuss. Just do your thing & treat everybody respectfully.
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Old 13th February 2017, 5:41 PM   #5
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No I never told her we were exclusive.
I am just a bit uncomfortable with the concept of talking and seeing 2 women at the same time knowing that one of them is going to hope and will end really disappointed
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Old 13th February 2017, 6:48 PM   #6
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*note: I see the first girl on a regular basis anyway as she's weekly goes to the same drawing class than I and she also live 5 houses farer from mine
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Old 13th February 2017, 7:09 PM   #7
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If you're uncomfortable with it, then you really should see just one of these women, but as far as explaining, don't. If you're not exclusive there is nothing to explain.
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Old 13th February 2017, 9:50 PM   #8
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If you're uncomfortable with it, then you really should see just one of these women, but as far as explaining, don't. If you're not exclusive there is nothing to explain.
This. If you're uncomfortable, don't date both of them. It's simple.
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Old 14th February 2017, 7:53 AM   #9
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No I never told her we were exclusive.
I am just a bit uncomfortable with the concept of talking and seeing 2 women at the same time knowing that one of them is going to hope and will end really disappointed
It sounds like you're a caring type of guy, however, there is no obligation to tell either girl anything at this stage of dating.
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Old 16th February 2017, 8:01 AM   #10
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I understand. Caring type probably but also respectful. I mean who in here would like the reverse situation happening to them? Actually I don't understand why people think it should be so normal to act this way. I mean if anyone here was really interested in a woman and she accepts to date him till he gets all excited about it and starts hoping it's on, to finally tell him sorry it's not gonna happen, not with you. Who would appreciate it? I don't think many people would like it despite they think it's normal to do it to someone else.
So as the saying says, don't do to others what you wouldn't like them to do to you, do you think this kind of multi dating behaviour is really correct? I don't think so.

Anyway, now I had some advise on how to process if I want carry on dating these 2 girls at the same time, what I want to stop? How would you proceed to say to one girl, sorry I meant to be interested but at the end I am not?

Last edited by knight192; 16th February 2017 at 8:11 AM..
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Old 16th February 2017, 9:03 AM   #11
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Anyway, now I had some advise on how to process if I want carry on dating these 2 girls at the same time, what I want to stop? How would you proceed to say to one girl, sorry I meant to be interested but at the end I am not?
Dating is the process of determining just how interested and compatible you are. There is no promise, no expectation - only hope. If you're a great match, then you simply have to say that you don't see it going anywhere, or that you're not as compatible as you hoped; hopefully, you can honestly say you enjoyed getting to know them, but good-bye.
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