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Should I reach out to him?


ShiningMoon

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Back in 2015, I worked for a company in a different country. While working there, I met a local who worked in a different department. We both were attracted to each other, but I made it clear that nothing was going to happen since we worked in the same company. We got along, but bickered at times.

 

6 months later, he quit his position and we didn't stay in touch after that. We just were friends on Facebook, but didn't speak. In the meantime, I moved back to the country where I did my undergraduate degree, three hours away by plane.

 

Roughly a year after he left the company, he wound up relocating to the very same city/country I had just moved to 6 months prior. I found it to be a strange coincidence and reach out to him.

 

We kept talking every single day. Our first date was great. We had a fight on the second and he walked out on me (we used to bicker at work too). We didn't speak for three weeks. He came back with an apology and we went on a date before he was due to go back home for Christmas.

 

During this date, he tried to kiss me. Quite frankly, I was slightly stressed out because of external circumstances, a bit nauseous and still a bit annoyed at his behavior, that I told him I'd rather take it slow. I wasn't feeling it. I wrote him a message on FB apologizing and telling him, that I was nervous/stressed, a bit sick and that I wanted to kiss him. He said he didn't take it badly and was looking forward to seeing and kissing me when he gets back. His message was unusually short though.

 

He's now been gone for a month and didn't reach out to me at all. He's now due to come back next week and I am not sure whether or not I should reach out. He's the kind to reach out to ask me when I'm available to go out, but he's not one to send random texts just to have a conversation (although he did in the beginning).

 

Do you think I should reach out to him?

 

Thanks.

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Yes, and as soon as you see him, you better kiss him and kiss him good. Don't even talk first. Especially since you bicker.

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ElizabethIII

You met in 2015 and didnt go for it as you worked together. You argue lots too.

 

When you finally get it together you fight on the second date and make up then you feel sick at him kissing you as you dont feel it.

 

Why are you even bothering?

 

You've had since 2015?

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You met in 2015 and didnt go for it as you worked together. You argue lots too.

 

When you finally get it together you fight on the second date and make up then you feel sick at him kissing you as you dont feel it.

 

Why are you even bothering?

 

You've had since 2015?

 

Because I want to.

 

We don't argue 'a lot'. I never used the word 'a lot'.

 

We get along amazingly well when we don't bicker. We have hours long conversations and have the same sense of humor. We definitely enjoy each other's company, but we have disagreements, like most people do. I argue with my friends too, doesn't mean I want to drop them forever!

 

I don't understand the last question.

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ElizabethIII

but you felt sick when he tried to kiss you. you werent feeling it.

 

it has been since 2015 and there has always some reason why not.

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but you felt sick when he tried to kiss you. you werent feeling it.

 

it has been since 2015 and there has always some reason why not.

 

I was feeling sick for other reasons. I didn't suddenly feel sick when he tried to kiss me. I usually get nauseous when I'm stressed and I was extremely stressed that night.

 

We didn't speak for almost a year. He left the company in June 2015 and we started talking again in October 2016.

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I ended up reaching out to him, but I think the situation cannot be salvaged.

 

I sent him a message wishing him a happy new year and asking him how his vacation went. He replied right away, but I had a terrible day at work and somewhat preferred to reply the following day. He sent me another text when he saw I took too long to reply.

 

I replied right away, apologizing for my delay, but since then, I have not heard from him at all. This was last Tuesday. He came back on Wednesday. Surely, given the fact he's still off until tomorrow, he would have made an effort if he truly wanted to move forward.

 

He's usually very communicative via text or message. He always makes sure to keep the conversation going. This time around, he stopped after I replied. I'm not even sure why he replied to me in the first place and sent another message when I didn't respond right away.

 

I'm not sure what to do. Ask him to go out or let it go completely?! As I turned him down, I'm sure he's not bothered now. I have no clue what to do. I don't want to push either.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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Yes, and as soon as you see him, you better kiss him and kiss him good. Don't even talk first. Especially since you bicker.

 

Update:

 

I followed your advice and it unfortunately got me nowhere. It actually got me in a worse place than I was in before, because now I am offended.

 

I reached out to him and offered to to go the movies, for a change. I really wanted to kiss him when I saw him, so I did. He was very receptive. I got a comment saying 'you really wanted to see me huh?'.

 

Then, he kept kissing me the entire time and held my hand at the times, during the entire movie.

 

When we got out of there though, he wasn't affectionate at all. No physical contact which was a far cry from how he was during the movie. Then he kissed me and went to his subway station.

 

I texted him 'Thank you' afterwards. I got a 'You're welcome'. I haven't heard from him since.

 

What caught my attention is the fact he didn't try to make plans for the next date. I think he just kissed me because he didn't want to reject me and played along.

 

It was a bad idea altogether to be fair. But thanks for your help. At least I know where I stand now and I can move on :)

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I don't think he's interested anymore. :(

 

I agree. I was too late, sadly. I'll get over it, even if I'm hurting a bit right now.

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