Should I leave get back in touch or leave her be

[BlueRock78]

So to cut a long story short I had a 2 year online relationship with a lady. We got on well and I for various reasons we never met. A few months ago we finally agreed to meet as friends and chatted for 5 hours in a pub before ending up kissing. We both said we felt a spark.

 

Then much very soppy chatting afterwards. We then arranged to meet again first at her city then at mine.

So I went to hers but she seemed a bit cool but after we went for a meal all of a sudden she just kissed me like we were teens all night told me i was her man and how happy she was. She also did a heart felt speech of how sorry sge was for not meeting me sooner.

Once back at hers snuggled that night and all the next day until I left. Later that night she messaged me saying she didn't want to see me again. I said what was all that kissing about she blamed it on drink and said she wanted so much for us to work but she'd only had 2 glasses of wine when she started. She said there was no spark and asked me to leave her alone. She also said she did love me.

 

That was 3 months ago and I still miss her for who she is as difficult as she can be. She's had a bad time with men cheating before and suffers with depression. I just don't know if she meant the leave me or if she panicked about getting close especially as I live 100 miles away.

Edited December 10, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[carhill]

Would love to provide a long-winded response but, basically, it was a moment and it's done.

 

I used to flagellate myself and do the persistent and loving guy thing but, eh, lessons learned. Leave her be. In fact, even if she contacts you out of the blue, resist getting sucked in. Hoovers will suck you in. Then it's death by a thousand cuts. Save yourself

[spiderowl]

Sorry to hear what happened. This can happen with online dating, where you chat for ages and feel a real connection. It has happened to me recently too and we have never met. Prob would be a disaster if we did.

 

She doesn't seem to feel the same spark in person that you do. It's a real shame. If she went so far as to ask you to leave her alone, that's pretty definite. To be honest, I can't imagine why someone would say that unless you were pestering her. You don't sound the kind of guy who would do that. It really is best to leave her alone, now that she has said that.

 

Be wary of any further involvement (except as an online mate), even if she initiates it. If there was a good emotional connection online, you will both miss it. I guess that is the downside to not meeting fairly soon. Really sorry it didn't work out for you.

[BlueRock78]

Thanks for your reply. Well these things happen. To be honest I don't know if I made a pest of myself or not. I sent a few messages just with friend stuff in, no pressure to meet. The thing I wish I hadn't done was sending a letter just saying I enjoyed spending time together.

I had a long relationship with another lady who had some mental health issues (believe me I attract them) and in that case I know being told to leave was a case of "you will cheat like all the rest so I'll nip this in the bud" it took a lot of time before the work done by other men was undone. So maybe I have a weird outlook and a shed load of patience but I don't see why such people aren't worth my time.

Anyway I have no intention of making a move to get back in touch. If she got in touch I would certainly chat to her as like I said I enjoyed chatting. I sorta wished we had never kissed and just stayed mates.