Staying old school or just making the first move!

[Kelley]

So the topic at work today was should the woman ask the guy out on a date, or wait to be asked? The old school said the man should make the first move, this proves he is interested and men like to persue. Also asking as a female indicates you are too aggressive!

 

The other view in this modern age, most guys welcome the reprieve of a self-assured woman, and all you have to lose is a good man. Would love to hear views from both men and women on this ?

[Mrin]

So the topic at work today was should the woman ask the guy out on a date, or wait to be asked? The old school said the man should make the first move, this proves he is interested and men like to persue. Also asking as a female indicates you are too aggressive!

 

The other view in this modern age, most guys welcome the reprieve of a self-assured woman, and all you have to lose is a good man. Would love to hear views from both men and women on this

 

As a dude I normally would say old school. But you have to realize that OLD has changed a whole generation or three of men that simply do not know how, or lack the inclination to, ask a woman out unless it is online. So ya, I have to say with this in mind, if a woman fancies a man and wants to see where it goes, she should seriously think about approaching him. Especially if he's just not acting on it himself.

[jen1447]

It's a woman's world now so we have to act like it. Ask yourself and don't let life pass you by.

[Philosoraptor]

Always seemed like a big waste of time to play games or wait on someone else to give you the answers to things that you can control.

 

If you feel you need to hold back with someone, they probably aren't the right fit anyways. The faster you have answer, the sooner you can stop wasting your time.

[smackie9]

When I was single (27 years ago) I asked guys out on dates and never has a negative experience doing it.

 

Invite him out for drinks after work. What's the worse that could happen? He says no? It won't kill ya, life continues on.

[kismetkismet]

if a guy thinks that a girl asking them out is too aggressive, then they're most likely going to be into playing games and/or be the type that doesn't want an equal partnership. They want the 'chase' and the feeling of ownership that comes with it. However, some people (of both genders) really like those kinds of traditional gender roles where the man chooses the speed and direction of the relationship, pays for all your outings, and that's fine. But personally I want to feel like an equal contributor and participant in the relationship.

 

Plus If he likes you asking him out is not going to change that. It's super easy these days to be casual about it, asking someone to grab a drink after work etc. can just be a sort of friendly and informal way to get to know each other and gauge interest.

 

THAT SAID, i'm introverted and slow to warm up, so in most of my relationships the guy was pursuing me emotionally a bit more. But i never intentionally pulled back to illicit a response.

[Methodical]

Although some ppl prefer traditional roles, times have changed. Take the bull by the horns and ask him out.

[Kelley]

I'm also in the mindset if you like a guy you can only ask, after all men put themselves out there all the time, risk rejection why can't women? I'm confident in my own skin I could take it if he said no ? I just thought the argument for old school was rather interesting. Thing is you could be waiting a long time if the guy you like is shy! I guess it's down to the individual, personally life is too short and why run the risk of losing a guy you like to another woman because you were sitting on your hands!