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Rejected a guy I liked


Thaymore

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Hi!

 

So I met a guy at a party two weeks ago and he asked me if I want to go out sometimes. I told him to gimme a text. He texted me two days later and asked me out on a date. I just got out of a cheating relationship, so I was scared.. especially since I met him at a party lol. I told him I was hurt and that was the truth. Me, him and his friend already planned on going hiking the following weekend at the party. So he asked me if I wanted to still do hiking and that I should come. I went and I think I started catching feelings for this guy. I don't know if he still likes me because I don't know if he just asked me out to meet some new people (he said he's trying to get out more). I am scared to say yes to the date because I've been hurt before..and I am scared he's just asking me out for fun or he's just asking me out because he wants to sleep with me.

 

So the thing is...I went out with him for hiking and he kind of walked next to me the whole time. When we sat down for lunch, he also leaned toward me and I accidentally put my head on his shoulder (which he didn't said anything about). He's a bit taller than me, but when he talks he puts his head down. After we came back, me him and his friend was supposed to go to a bar together to join some of his friend's friends. I walked with them to the bar and then my roommate texted me and said she got locked out. Instead of going in with his friend, he decided to walk me back. I am not sure if it means he likes me or he's just feels awkward staying alone. He also thanked me for coming out today.

 

The thing is, he haven't texted me since I said no to the date. I didn't say no when he asked me out, but I said I'm not ready for dating again. I did say I am free to hang out instead, but he didn't ask me to hangout after. Even if he texts me, it is to confirm the time we are meeting and he starts calling me weird names like "yes girl", which doesn't sound like something you'll call a girl you want to date.

 

Is there anyway I can fix things with him now?

 

Note to say..he also calls me fam...(family) which to me sounds like fam-zoning me. He's outgoing with everyone so I'm not sure if he actually liked me.

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You pretty much told him you are not going to have a relationship with him.....he's thinking he's been friend zoned so he has backed off. He isn't going to be wasting his time chasing you.

 

What do you want fixed? You are not ready, you are still not sure of this guy, and you are paranoid because you were cheated on. You are upset that the attention has been turned off?

 

I don't think you can fix this because if you flip flop on him, one min you don't want to date, now you want to date him, it's just going to confuse him, and not trust you.

 

Give yourself more time to heal.

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If you just got out of a relationship, especially one where cheating was involved, it would be best for you to invest time in healing. Chances are you'll self-sabotage every opportunity that comes along because you're defensive, jaded and insecure.

 

And giving away too much information about your hurts to men you don't really know can backfire because you don't know who's going to take advantage of your vulnerabilities. Focus your attention on healing and being on your own for awhile. It's to your advantage to find some level of emotional strength and clarity.

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You pretty much told him you are not going to have a relationship with him.....he's thinking he's been friend zoned so he has backed off. He isn't going to be wasting his time chasing you.

 

What do you want fixed? You are not ready, you are still not sure of this guy, and you are paranoid because you were cheated on. You are upset that the attention has been turned off?

 

I don't think you can fix this because if you flip flop on him, one min you don't want to date, now you want to date him, it's just going to confuse him, and not trust you.

 

Give yourself more time to heal.

 

Should I at least hit him up? He's not texting anymore so I am afraid he lost interest, but he is a really cute and I see myself dating him.

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Should I at least hit him up? He's not texting anymore so I am afraid he lost interest, but he is a really cute and I see myself dating him.

 

 

Do what you want, but you shouldn't be surprised. For all the good people out there who are looking for a real relationship, don't call him. You are not ready and you will lead him on until you break it off b/c you are not ready.

 

Consider this...you have made it known that you are not ready. He knows. IF he responds to your request to date, I can see a scenario where he accepts you b/c he knows that the relationship will be short-lived. Have you thought that maybe he no longer takes you as a serious dating option? Have you considered that he may now (if he didn't before) only want you as a FWB? Do you want that?

 

Nah, leave him be. Heal as others have said and wait for something more promising and not JUST pretty. You say that you can SEE yourself dating him....right now, it's all about being together with a pretty boy. No substance and you sound desperate....dangerous.

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Don't try to pursue anything with him. Your insecurities will get the best of you.

 

Just leave things be. You need to work through your feelings before you try to date anyone again.

 

You were clear with him that you did not want to date. He did hang out with you that day. He probably doesn't want to hang out with you as a friend, which is why he hasn't texted you. Don't be insulted - you two are just not in the same place.

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Versacehottie

it seems like you are too insecure, too wishywashy and have too much baggage to be dating ANYONE at the moment. Get over that first.

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Should I at least hit him up? He's not texting anymore so I am afraid he lost interest, but he is a really cute and I see myself dating him.

 

You just got out of bad relationship. You told him so--so he's thinking it's best to not go any further. Sort out the demise of your relationship first.

 

Don't use guys to avoid doing the sorting out work of your failed relationship that needs to be done. You're still fragmented from that.

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You don't want to date.

He doesn't want to be just friends.

 

So him not texting is the only solution as far as he is concerned and he is correct.

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Take some time off and figure out what you want and if you're ready. If you still feel something for this bloke, then pursue, but until then I feel like the mixed feelings will result in mixed signals and that wont' be a good mix right now.

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