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She's my best friend, what do you think she's doing? Is she making a mistake?


maxalton

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My best friend is a girl and she recently started dating this guy. I know this by some facebook stalking. We both hook up from time to time so we're basically best friends with benefits. We're both open to the fact that we date other people. Dating other people isn't the issue. About a week ago, she added this guy on facebook who's facebook says he's from Jacksonville, Arkansas and currently lives in Little Rock, Arkansas (we live in Texas.) I know they're dating because since she's added him, she's been tagging him in statuses about dates they were on. (He most likely is currently in Texas for some reason and she probably met him one night at a bar or something.) She's dated a handful of other guys the past few months, but never really made statuses about any of them. She's been making statuses and this weekend she posted a picture of men/women cuddling and kissing and it the picture said "everyday would be perfect even if we were just doing this" and she tagged him in the picture. (Im surprised that she started falling for somebody THAT quickly.) And then tonight he finally tagged her in a status about a date they were on. This is whats confusing me... I could immediately tell by looking at his pictures and reading his bio that he's a bad boy. She kinda has a tendency to fall for these guys sometimes. (But those past experiences made her become more guarded about letting these guys into her life, to not only protect herself but her daughter too...or at least, I hope it did. I know she is protective of her daughter.) He's 29, she's 26. She has a daughter and according to his facebook, he has a son. (Not sure if the son is in Arkansas or Texas or who knows where.) But there were some immediate red flags i noticed..

 

 

1) He's a bad boy

2) He's a single dad

3) His most recent relationship lasted sometime under 5 months

 

 

I know his last relationship lasted under 5 months because most of his facebook is private, but that was one thing that it showed. He was in a relatioship on March 3rd and he's single now. So that relationship lasted sometime under 5 months... mix that in with the fact that he's a bad boy and a single dad.

 

 

On top of that, since they met, he's been adding dozens and dozens of hot, (mostly slutty-looking) women on facebook. Most of them are from his homestate of Arkansas too, oddly enough. I don't know if he's only temporarily in Texas or what. Maybe that's why they've been dating so rapidly this past week? Who knows. (But I know she probaly has no idea that he's adding dozens and dozens of these slutty women because the only way to see Recently Added friends is on a desktop PC or laptop. The mobile version of facebook doesn't have that option, and I know she only uses facebook from her phone. So she isn't seeing the people he's adding.) I know she wouldn't leave Texas for Arkansas because she wouldn't do that to her family and she wouldn't uproot her daughter to another state. Her daughter has alot of friends here and she's made alot of friends through her daughter. So maybe he would permenantly stay here? But why would he be adding dozens of hot women from his homestate of Arkansas? If anything, why not add hot women from here in Texas? (I'd be surprised if she actually did get serious with him just because she has such a crazy life and her daughter is a handful, now you throw in a step-child into the mix. But, I know it's still a possibilty.)

 

 

Another odd thing is that he hasn't added ANYBODY from our area yet. The only people he's added were her, then her brother (I saw on facebook they double-dated one night), then one of her girlfriends, then tonight he added another one of her girlfriends. Im guessing they double-dated too. But it's really strange how those have been the ONLY people he's added from this area but everybody else he's added were random (mostly slutty) women from his homestate of Arkansas. My best friend is hot, I wont lie. The fact that he's been adding all of these women and dating her makes me think that he just wants to hookup with hot women. But who knows. What are your opinions? What do you all think is going on here? Do you think she'd be making a mistake if she got serious with him?

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I think you are far too concerned about this. If she was really your best friend, you would have known about this guy and not had to snoop on fb. So really, you're just FWB. and FWB don't have the privilege of being nosy about the other person's love life.

 

Single parent isn't a red flag, especially since she is also a single parent. Sounds like you want to be more than her FWB though.

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Well we are legitmate best friends and yeah I would like for the benefits to continue. She only met this guy a week ago, we havent spoken in a little over a week. Thats not out of the ordinary. And yes she is a single parent herself. Thats true. But as I said, he's a bad boy and was just in a super short relationship, and he's adding a bunch of slutty women while theyre dating. The sheer fact that he's a single dad wasnt the issue, it was that coupled with the other facts.

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Well we are legitmate best friends and yeah I would like for the benefits to continue. She only met this guy a week ago, we havent spoken in a little over a week. Thats not out of the ordinary. And yes she is a single parent herself. Thats true. But as I said, he's a bad boy and was just in a super short relationship, and he's adding a bunch of slutty women while theyre dating. The sheer fact that he's a single dad wasnt the issue, it was that coupled with the other facts.

 

They're not really facts though, they are assumptions you're making based on his facebook page.

 

If you were really legit best friends, she would have told you about this guy. I mean, she's putting it on fb but didn't have time to tell you? My guess is that she didn't because you used to mess around and she wants that to stop while she's with this guy. Which is perfectly normal.

 

If you actually knew this man and he was an abuser and known for drugging women, okay, you'd have a right to be concerned, but you know next to nothing about him. If he's not a good person, she will find out on her own.

 

Just sayin, that's a lot of fb stalking even for a friend.

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The fact that he's been adding all of these women and dating her makes me think that he just wants to hookup with hot women. But who knows. What are your opinions? What do you all think is going on here? Do you think she'd be making a mistake if she got serious with him?
Alllllll that to just get here.

 

Maybe your friend just wants to hookup with a hot guy? Maybe she likes bad boys? (most girls do) Maybe she's one of those "slutty women" and you just don't see her that way because you think highly of her.

 

Regardless, it sounds to me like you're really insecure about her dating anyone period, but particularly insecure about this guy, maybe because he's the "bad boy" and you're not? (which ultimately could mean you're not her type)

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Your not her "friend" get that idea out of your head your her fwb and that's it. Looks like you want more from her than she's wants from you. If I were you I'd move along as her taste in men from what you've said isn't exactly high quality. Find yourself a nice lady somewhere and forget about her she's probably not going to come running to you. Well she might for a few days/weeks if they break up.

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