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Old 7th July 2016, 1:41 PM   #1
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Quick question

My boyfriend of less than a month said something hurtful, not intentionally, and I can't handle it.


After sex, amazing sex, he said "wow, that was easily on my top 3 orgasms"... as in the other 2 were not with me.

I know he didn't mean to hurt me, but I feel awful. Any advice?
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Old 7th July 2016, 2:13 PM   #2
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For all you know, his top two might have been just with him by himself....they often are.
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Old 7th July 2016, 2:28 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Robynn View Post
My boyfriend of less than a month said something hurtful, not intentionally, and I can't handle it.


After sex, amazing sex, he said "wow, that was easily on my top 3 orgasms"... as in the other 2 were not with me.

I know he didn't mean to hurt me, but I feel awful. Any advice?
It was a statement about orgasms, not you or other women, just that he's had 3 super good orgasms. And, how do you know that he didn't have one or both of those others with you? Unless this was your first time having sex with him, you don't really know what he mean't. If anything else, you should be happy he had it with you and so what if he's had 2 others with other women. You weren't seeing him then, presumably. You want to delude yourself that he's never had a good orgasm before you came along?

And, he's your "boyfriend" after only a month????
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Old 7th July 2016, 2:51 PM   #4
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Hopefully he didn't say that while in bed after sex/lovemaking. If he did, cheeky, at minimum.

Advice? Expect more of the same. Anyone who goes there that quickly during the best behavior period is, well, like that.

However, IMO there's a distinct advantage to getting that style early. It's the ones who wait until being married that are the truly deceptive among us.

On your side, you have a choice in how you perceive the words and actions of others. You make your own boundaries based on those perceptions. Sure, you can make different choices; perhaps try that and see how it works out. For example, you could retort with content like in some of the comments in this thread. Then watch the results.
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Old 7th July 2016, 2:56 PM   #5
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That is a thoughtless remark. Remember, people show you who they are. Pay attention and believe them the first time. This may be him showing that he has a thoughtless and insensitive side to his personality. Pay attention to see if there is a pattern here.

Next time you are talking and things are calm and good, tell him how this made you feel. Use "I" statements. Meaning you say things like "I felt..." or "I feel..." instead of "You did...." or "You make me...." Own your feelings and discuss it like an adult. Watch his reaction. If he tries to blame you for your feelings, then you've got an issue. If he is reception to a discussion, then you can work it out.
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Old 7th July 2016, 3:57 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Robynn View Post
My boyfriend of less than a month said something hurtful, not intentionally, and I can't handle it.


After sex, amazing sex, he said "wow, that was easily on my top 3 orgasms"... as in the other 2 were not with me.

I know he didn't mean to hurt me, but I feel awful. Any advice?
You have been dating 1 month.

He had sex before you.

He had orgasms before you.

I don't understand why you find it hurtful.
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Old 7th July 2016, 4:04 PM   #7
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I'm assuming you guys haven't had sex often enough for those other two times to have been with you? It's definitely tacky as hell. Usually you would say something like "best i ever had" or don't say anything at all.

But, he's a male who had just had an orgasm. Probably wasn't thinking clearly. Don't take it to heart unless he continues to rank your sex in a spot other than the top.
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Old 7th July 2016, 6:12 PM   #8
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What you should've said was:

- Glad you finished, but you should've waited for me. (Assuming you didn't climax)

or

- Eh, maybe top 50 for me. (If you did climax)
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Old 7th July 2016, 6:45 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Robynn View Post
My boyfriend of less than a month said something hurtful, not intentionally, and I can't handle it.


After sex, amazing sex, he said "wow, that was easily on my top 3 orgasms"... as in the other 2 were not with me.

I know he didn't mean to hurt me, but I feel awful. Any advice?
Wow... pretty dumb thing to say on his part. It would get under my skin a bit too. Sex should not be an act you get a score card on unless it is "you are the best (fill in blank - no pun intended) I ever had!" lol
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Old 7th July 2016, 7:10 PM   #10
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I agree with Gaeta. I don't think it was hurtful at all. It wouldn't bother me at all.
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Old 7th July 2016, 7:17 PM   #11
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It wasn't intended to be hurtful at all. If anything, it was a backhanded complement. The irony is if I were a women, if anything, I'd be annoyed not hurt. Making a comment like that has conceited douche bag written all over it. It's only going to get worse from here on out if that is what he says the first time... Have a little tact. He could have just said "That was an AMAZING orgasm..."
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