Can colleagues be over friendly?

[Simon84]

So i work with someone thats been showing inconsistency in her behaviour, just wanted to know whats wrong or going on. So the story goes, we both annoy each other, ignore each other, hate each other, backstab each other. She deleted my phone number, unknowing i did the same, she can use me when she needs help with work, sometimes she won't even say bye, doesn't stick up for me, only flirts when she wants too, the the flip side she hugs me a lot, kisses on the cheek, makes stupid comments on the way we hug, gives me stupid nicknames like lover & baby-boy, sometimes we do hold hands. We do walk together with our arms around each others waists like say a couple would. Sometimes i do catch her staring at me. Can she really be that fake?

 

The way she acts i always thought it was her flirty personality, after reading some of the comments on different forums, i guess i was wrong, i just copied what she did, i.e hugging+kissing on the cheek, many times I've asked her to stop, saying people are watching, but she doesn't seem to care, she gave me a hug on the front counter, where everyone could see us,(i know i shouldn't say it, but thats the best hug i had off her) i had to basically push her off, but she doesn't seem to get it. The kisses i must admit were my fault, i tried to test the water by basically nuzzling her neck/shoulder, then came the kisses on the cheek. The other day she commented on the way we were hugging, say that " the way we're hugging its gonna look like we're girlfriend & boyfriend". I understand that this kind of behaviour is not for the workplace, i always thought it as just friendly flirting, maybe not.... I do try to hide my feels for her, by saying a fancy different girls, i know that she knows which girls i like & which ones talk to me. Shes been acting so funny these last few weeks so i wondering if she wants me to either leave her alone or ask her out. She's never said that she likes me,

[smackie9]

Just ask her out on a date.......if she turns you down then you know this is just all about getting attention.

[Simon84]

I would love nothing else than asking her out, but shes a colleague, so its a bit more difficult, than say asking out someone that you don't see on a regular basis. I do like her, but its never gonna work, so its time to forget about the whole stupid situation and move on, with a very heavy heart,☹️, i can't believe people would do such things as above for a little attention, i know i wouldn't, she played with my feels. Why?

[smudge21]

You'll only confuse yourself further if you try to understand why people do certain things. Just accept that everyone is different and although you may never act a certain way, doesn't mean others won't. Never judge someone by your own actions or morals. I'd say she loved the attention and fed off it, but always knew to keep you at bay. Basically, she wanted the ego boost but drew a line on how far it can go. It's all about her and what she wants. It has zero to do with you... so make it about you and do what is right for you. If you think there's something there (hmmm) then ask her out, if not, tell her straight to stop this at work as you're sick of it. You're no ones puppy dog who comes running when ordered, so you either shut it down.. or let it continue. Your call.

[Simon84]

You made some brilliant points, you could be right she most likely is using me for attention, been really flirting today, holding hands, her kissing me on my shoulder, been staring at me too all day, So shes back playing her games, so I'm gonna play back 2day, been flirting the same as she has. Its the only way i think she'll stop, if shes playing a game. Made a comment saying that the we're physical, people gonna think we're sh.....g! So she knows, its going too far,

[longjohn]

Does she act this way with other people? Have you had others tell you she's acted this way or differently with them? If so I'd just bite the bullet and ask her out and get your answer then move on with your life.

[TunaInTheBrine]

So i work with someone thats been showing inconsistency in her behaviour, just wanted to know whats wrong or going on. So the story goes, we both annoy each other, ignore each other, hate each other, backstab each other. She deleted my phone number, unknowing i did the same, she can use me when she needs help with work, sometimes she won't even say bye, doesn't stick up for me, only flirts when she wants too, the the flip side she hugs me a lot, kisses on the cheek, makes stupid comments on the way we hug, gives me stupid nicknames like lover & baby-boy, sometimes we do hold hands. We do walk together with our arms around each others waists like say a couple would. Sometimes i do catch her staring at me. Can she really be that fake?

 

The way she acts i always thought it was her flirty personality, after reading some of the comments on different forums, i guess i was wrong, i just copied what she did, i.e hugging+kissing on the cheek, many times I've asked her to stop, saying people are watching, but she doesn't seem to care, she gave me a hug on the front counter, where everyone could see us,(i know i shouldn't say it, but thats the best hug i had off her) i had to basically push her off, but she doesn't seem to get it. The kisses i must admit were my fault, i tried to test the water by basically nuzzling her neck/shoulder, then came the kisses on the cheek. The other day she commented on the way we were hugging, say that " the way we're hugging its gonna look like we're girlfriend & boyfriend". I understand that this kind of behaviour is not for the workplace, i always thought it as just friendly flirting, maybe not.... I do try to hide my feels for her, by saying a fancy different girls, i know that she knows which girls i like & which ones talk to me. Shes been acting so funny these last few weeks so i wondering if she wants me to either leave her alone or ask her out. She's never said that she likes me,

 

do a Google search on borderline personality disorder