Second date too exiting... killed the 3rd?

[The-Idealist]

Hello,

 

So I'm trying to work out if I blew it with this girl recently.

 

Weet online, exchanged numbers and agreed to a date:

 

Date 1: Three hours talking in a botanical garden before she started work. Very good connection, lots of laughing, eye contact and open communication.

 

Communications: Text next day, returned text 10 hours later, agreed to second date in a weeks time.

 

Date 2: Sitting on a beach for half hour and then climbing scaffolding to get on the roof of this building and see the view (Amazing fun and she did it in high heels!) after that we went for drinks and played chess in the pub until it closed. Lots of energy, a real spark and both of us left with a plan to meet up 2 days later.

 

Communications: She tries to reschedule. I say fine but I'm away and won't be able to do anything for two weeks. She moves her plans so we can meet for an hour at lunch. A lot more communication from her.

 

Date 3: She was late, but sent three apologetic texts and seemed anxious about the impression she'd made on me. I gave her a single wild flower I found. She seemed to like that. We talk, but there's a lot less energy and she starts to seem disinterested. We hug good bye briefly as she had to run for the bus. Overall there doesn't feel like a lot of intimacy like there was on the second date.

 

This was yesterday and she knows I'm flying out tomorrow and won't be back for a week. Do you think I should respond today or wait and call her briefly before I fly out and ask if she wants to meet again?

 

Really felt a bit of a negative vibe towards the end of it. Just seemed like the second date had been so intense that the third was a bit disappointing.

 

What does everyone think?

[BikerAccnt]

How did the second date end? Did you kiss, or at least try too?

 

 

Sounds as if she's losing interest.

[tinkerbell16]

Hello,

 

So I'm trying to work out if I blew it with this girl recently.

 

Weet online, exchanged numbers and agreed to a date:

 

Date 1: Three hours talking in a botanical garden before she started work. Very good connection, lots of laughing, eye contact and open communication.

 

Communications: Text next day, returned text 10 hours later, agreed to second date in a weeks time.

 

Date 2: Sitting on a beach for half hour and then climbing scaffolding to get on the roof of this building and see the view (Amazing fun and she did it in high heels!) after that we went for drinks and played chess in the pub until it closed. Lots of energy, a real spark and both of us left with a plan to meet up 2 days later.

 

Communications: She tries to reschedule. I say fine but I'm away and won't be able to do anything for two weeks. She moves her plans so we can meet for an hour at lunch. A lot more communication from her.

 

Date 3: She was late, but sent three apologetic texts and seemed anxious about the impression she'd made on me. I gave her a single wild flower I found. She seemed to like that. We talk, but there's a lot less energy and she starts to seem disinterested. We hug good bye briefly as she had to run for the bus. Overall there doesn't feel like a lot of intimacy like there was on the second date.

 

This was yesterday and she knows I'm flying out tomorrow and won't be back for a week. Do you think I should respond today or wait and call her briefly before I fly out and ask if she wants to meet again?

 

Really felt a bit of a negative vibe towards the end of it. Just seemed like the second date had been so intense that the third was a bit disappointing.

 

What does everyone think?

 

You are overthinking it. She probably had to shift a few things to be able to see you before you left and could have had a million things on her mind. She sounds like she likes you and is a caring person (her apologetic texts). Keep in touch with her while you are away an make plans with her (while you are away) to see her when you return.

[deadparrot]

It's impossible to say. The spark could be fading for her, or she could simply have been nervous, distracted, tired or just generally off her game that day. Only way to find out is to ask her out again; I don't think calling vs. texting makes a huge difference unless she has strongly expressed a preference of one over the other.

[The-Idealist]

How did the second date end? Did you kiss, or at least try too?

 

 

Sounds as if she's losing interest.

 

Kissed her on the cheek. She's a bit old fashioned, I am too really.

But there was a lot other physical contact, constantly walking close and brushing her hand up against mine. During drinks her foot kept tapping my leg and out legs were touching under the table a few times. Intense eye contact all the time.

 

Definitely didn't misread this, she was very interested, just don't know why the third date flopped. Lack of alcohol!?

[BikerAccnt]

It may not have flopped. Like someone else said above, she may not have been on her game that day. AND, even if it did flop, it may not be because of anything you did.

 

 

Sometimes it takes a few dates for someone to realize something's not right.

 

 

Either way, ask her out again when you can. It's the only way you'll know for certain.

[joseb]

Kissed her on the cheek. She's a bit old fashioned, I am too really.

But there was a lot other physical contact, constantly walking close and brushing her hand up against mine. During drinks her foot kept tapping my leg and out legs were touching under the table a few times. Intense eye contact all the time.

 

Definitely didn't misread this, she was very interested, just don't know why the third date flopped. Lack of alcohol!?

 

Ok. To me that sounds like she was doing all the touching and giving you hints, and you didn't act on it.

You need to be more forward. Not saying you need to get her into bed on the first date, but at least something.

She probably has lost interest because you haven't made a move.

If you get a fourth date, you will need to.

[The-Idealist]

Third date I tried to escalate. I was holding her hand and talking about the rings on her fingers and she didn't seem to mind that, there were a few other bits of light physical contact but the kiss moment just disappeared when she had to run for the bus. The third date was very brief because she moved a lot around to see me.

 

I've tried to get in contact but heard nothing back.

 

Any ideas if it's possible to recover from this?

[Lois_Griffin]

If you met online it just means you're not the only guy she's been chatting with and meeting.

 

It sounds as though someone else has caught her attention.

 

It's not that you did anything wrong, I just think someone else is spending time with her and she's interested enough in him where she's back-burnered you - or completely taken you off the stove at this point since she hasn't even replied to your last text.

 

Sorry, it's time to move on.

[dumbass2]

Not your fault, a lot of people do it, but there is too much analyzing going on in the early stages of dating. What doe this mean? what is she thinking? on and on. I think if people could try to stop doing this and just go out, not have expectations so early on and have a good time and truly just chill and see where things go, then the dating process might have a little more success for some. You're basing how she might feel about you because of the expectation you set on the second date. There will be exciting dates and not so exciting dates. If all the dates in the beginning are so so exciting, then you are more apt to get the burn out in the honeymoon period a lot faster.