Eddie Gonzales Posted June 2, 2016 Share Posted June 2, 2016 My good friend, a girl, has been texting this guy for almost 6 months now. She's 18, he's 22. He lives 5 hours away, but they text quite a lot, and have been trying to arrange a meeting. Like four-three times. Each time he had an excuse last minute. The last time, he was in her area (like 30 minutes away) and when she texted him if they could meet, he replied her "Don't worry boo, I'll find you." She replied "Ok, let me know." Then he didn't text her anything until he was out of town again, apologizing for not having time to meet up because he was busy with some work-related thing. When she was in the city he currently resides in, he agreed to meet up, but then cancelled again with another lame excuse. But they still text. She's been asking me what's up? What do you guys think? Is he interested? This has been going on for 6 months and they haven't met ONCE. Link to post Share on other sites
btunesful Posted June 2, 2016 Share Posted June 2, 2016 He's def not interested, just likes the attention. I mean 6 months and not meeting once? Come on. Tell her to let it go. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted June 2, 2016 Share Posted June 2, 2016 But they still text. She's been asking me what's up? What do you guys think? Is he interested? This has been going on for 6 months and they haven't met ONCE. It's called being strung along. She should have given up at the first last minute cancellation. Sorry, but barring a few very rare and unlikely events in life, last minute cancellations are just the other person being rude. I've never known an exception to this actually. :roll eyes: 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eddie Gonzales Posted June 2, 2016 Author Share Posted June 2, 2016 It's called being strung along. She should have given up at the first last minute cancellation. Sorry, but barring a few very rare and unlikely events in life, last minute cancellations are just the other person being rude. I've never known an exception to this actually. :roll eyes: Then why does he text her? Also, living five hours away is very far. However, I agree I have never met a person who ended up with a person who kept cancelling dates for almost six months straight. She's very pretty though, so I don't understand why he wouldn't be interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eddie Gonzales Posted June 2, 2016 Author Share Posted June 2, 2016 He's def not interested, just likes the attention. I mean 6 months and not meeting once? Come on. Tell her to let it go. But he keeps liking all her facebook posts, recently started following her on Instagram and texts. Why in the world would he do that and not be interested? Link to post Share on other sites
Zapbasket Posted June 2, 2016 Share Posted June 2, 2016 Because fantasy is always easier than any reality you can bring into being. Also, at the fantasy level, not much is required of either party. It doesn't take much to text back and forth, to like FB photos and follow people on Instagram and such. You don't have to be vulnerable, you don't have to accommodate the other person's needs, you don't have to potentially be rejected. It's pretty much the most minimal effort to make a connection to another human being. If I were you I'd tell your friend to leave off with this thing. Especially as they've not met in person. Total waste of time; total fantasy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eddie Gonzales Posted June 2, 2016 Author Share Posted June 2, 2016 Because fantasy is always easier than any reality you can bring into being. Also, at the fantasy level, not much is required of either party. It doesn't take much to text back and forth, to like FB photos and follow people on Instagram and such. You don't have to be vulnerable, you don't have to accommodate the other person's needs, you don't have to potentially be rejected. It's pretty much the most minimal effort to make a connection to another human being. If I were you I'd tell your friend to leave off with this thing. Especially as they've not met in person. Total waste of time; total fantasy. So you don't think he's interested? As a guy, I told her that if I really like someone or am interested I'd meet up during the first two months or so. Six months at most, but if I were interested and in the area, I'd still find an hour or two of my day to meet up. If I didn't care, I wouldn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted June 2, 2016 Share Posted June 2, 2016 Then why does he text her? Also, living five hours away is very far. However, I agree I have never met a person who ended up with a person who kept cancelling dates for almost six months straight. She's very pretty though, so I don't understand why he wouldn't be interested. Living 5hrs away is definitely a reason NOT to pursue this. He's making no effort, and cancelling her efforts. He's not interested. Are you just wanting someone on LS to come along and tell you that yes she should hang in there? That won't be me. She is wasting her time and should find someone local to form a real relationship with. Texting is NOT a sign of interest. It's frequently a sign of boredom and poor relationship ability. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 2, 2016 Share Posted June 2, 2016 **sigh** I'm going to try and refrain from going off on a tangent if only because your friend is young and so very naive. Please let her know that in no uncertain terms that this guy is a WASTE OF TIME! Anyone, guy or girl, no matter the distance or obstacle, if they are truly interested in seeing you they will move mountains to see you. PERIOD. That's it. It doesn't get any simpler than this. The fact that he continues to text with her even after the lame excuses to meet just shows what an douche this guy is. For all we know she might be getting catfished! Time to move on. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Zapbasket Posted June 2, 2016 Share Posted June 2, 2016 So you don't think he's interested? As a guy, I told her that if I really like someone or am interested I'd meet up during the first two months or so. Six months at most, but if I were interested and in the area, I'd still find an hour or two of my day to meet up. If I didn't care, I wouldn't. No. He is not interested, or only in fantasy...which is not the same as actually being INTERESTED in HER. There was ZERO excuse for him not to have met with her when he was only 30 minutes away. That was total BS and she should have cut contact right there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eddie Gonzales Posted June 2, 2016 Author Share Posted June 2, 2016 No. He is not interested, or only in fantasy...which is not the same as actually being INTERESTED in HER. There was ZERO excuse for him not to have met with her when he was only 30 minutes away. That was total BS and she should have cut contact right there. Well, a few days after he texted her saying he had little time and his ex was there, so it was a bad idea to meet. The other time he just went silent and texted her days after apologizing. Then there was the time he claimed he couldn't meet because he had an urgent meeting. I've told her, her mom has told her, her BFF has told her, but yet she STILL chases him. Why do you think she's acting like this? Anyone sane can see he's a douche. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 2, 2016 Share Posted June 2, 2016 Well, a few days after he texted her saying he had little time and his ex was there, so it was a bad idea to meet. The other time he just went silent and texted her days after apologizing. Then there was the time he claimed he couldn't meet because he had an urgent meeting. I've told her, her mom has told her, her BFF has told her, but yet she STILL chases him. Why do you think she's acting like this? Anyone sane can see he's a douche. Because she's 18!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zapbasket Posted June 2, 2016 Share Posted June 2, 2016 Well, a few days after he texted her saying he had little time and his ex was there, so it was a bad idea to meet. The other time he just went silent and texted her days after apologizing. Then there was the time he claimed he couldn't meet because he had an urgent meeting. I've told her, her mom has told her, her BFF has told her, but yet she STILL chases him. Why do you think she's acting like this? Anyone sane can see he's a douche. Because she's young and doesn't know yet how she deserves to be treated. And because she's experiencing that high of the potential that's *jjjjjjust* out of reach. It really is like a drug, and anyone at any age can be susceptible to that. As I said: NO excuse. Meaning, no *acceptable* excuse. An ex in the picture, and your friend takes second to the ex? Oh HELL no. Basically he keeps her around because she lets him, and probably because her attentions to him feel good; he can dangle a fantasy in front of her without obligating himself to do a dam*ed thing. It really sucks to have to stand by and see someone you care about make stupid relationship choices. But if her mom, her bff, and you have tried to tell her to cut contact with this guy (I can't even say, "break off" or "cut ties" because there's nothing there to break and no ties to cut), and she won't do it, then you'll just have to bow out and let her learn the lesson the hard way. (Or, manage to secretly get a hold of her phone and block his number as well as delete him from all her social media . Kidding. Sort-of.) Link to post Share on other sites
Conviction Posted June 2, 2016 Share Posted June 2, 2016 Sounds like an episode of catfish. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Grapesofwrath Posted June 2, 2016 Share Posted June 2, 2016 But he keeps liking all her facebook posts, recently started following her on Instagram and texts. Why in the world would he do that and not be interested? Texting is the easiest form of communication possible. The only thing that requires less actual effort is "liking" someone's posts on FB or IG. He is doing the minimal amount necessary to maintain some type of connection. He's not interested in knowing her IRL. He just likes having someone to help him kill time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts