kunaka1000 Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I have a girlfriend that is insecure because of being left by her ex during her 1st pregnancy after he promised everything to her to be there and start a life with her ,with us there was a recent miscommunication between us which made her think maybe i didnt love her but completely untrue and ended up in her asking for space tried talking to her bt didnt help.Then the sister called me on sunday and told me she was hurting and loves me and just sad now n needs reassurance at not all guys are the same but truly loves me i really make her happy she wants us to work out and that it's been a while since she was happy and i should try harder to influence her. then monday my girl called at night saying she missed talking me,n we talked for a bit asked if I missed her n I told I did,asked why I didnt try call or say somthing n said I felt she didn't want to talk n she understood n talked bt nothing serious she then said Goodnyt because she had a headache n told her I love her and just replied bye.i love this girl should i act on her finally responding to me n try work things and try act on what the sister said or just leave it need advise like what is the best thing for me to do right now at is in the best interest of us both n our relationship,wat do I do?? Thank You Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 19, 2016 Share Posted May 19, 2016 If you love her then love her and fight for her BUT realize that loving her will not be easy. She has a lot of baggage from her past relationship and every little thing you do or don't do will be scrutinized and compared to her past relationship. It's wonderful to want to show her that you're NOT like her ex but there may come a point in your relationship when you're exhausted having to defend and/or prove yourself and your love for her. She needs to work on her issues as well in order for this to work long term. Good luck. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 19, 2016 Share Posted May 19, 2016 Defending yourself at every turn will only enable her behavior to question you. Tough love: You are going to have to let her know it's not all about her that there are two people in this relationship, two people who are hurting, and two people that need to communicate. She needs to step up as much as she want you to step up. You two need to meet face to face and have a talk. Link to post Share on other sites
Honoré9 Posted May 19, 2016 Share Posted May 19, 2016 She's hurting from a previous relationship. She's scared that you are going to leave her. And she's scared to get attached to you because you can just leave. You need to show her that you are not going anywhere. Don't be afraid to call or text her because you think she wants space. You can never assume anything. If you want to talk to her, do it! Don't stop trying to contact her unless she clearly says not to. You need to sit down with her, face to face, and talk. Tell her how much you like/love her. Tell her WHY. It's one thing to say you love someone but in her case she might not know why you love her. A "no one could ever love me" or "why does he even love me" stance. And actions speak louder than words. Don't just tell her that you love her, show it as well. It's going to take time for her to trust that you are not going anywhere. Either you are in for the long haul or you aren't. If it's the latter I suggest leaving now, gently. (If you want to get your point across better... Less run on sentences and more periods.) Link to post Share on other sites
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