Way of contacting her/seeing her again?

[jayyy8]

Hi everyone! Just registered here, seems like a great place with lots of helpful people. Well, I'm currently in dilemma on what to do here, so here goes, I hope I'll get some good advice:

 

Like 2 months ago I went to have my hair cut at this hair salon. The girl that cut my hair was really pleasant, polite, nice and really attractive. I talked to her the whole time while she was cutting my hair, we touched various subjects, and she complimented on my hair a couple of times, plus at the end she said I was a great costumer.

 

That day I spent whole evening thinking about her, and yes this might seem pathetic and stalkerish but I wanted to find out more about her. So I found her fb page through the facebook page of the salon itself. Surprisingly a lot of her photos were unlocked actually, and I became even more interested. I said to myself "you know what I'll ask her out next time I go cut my hair, she seems interesting and nice"...

 

Now the problem is, I went there a couple of times and she wasn't there at all. The other girls that cut my hair didn't even engage in any convo with me.

 

Recently I went there again and decided to ask about her. The other girl that cut my hair of course wasn't saying a word so I said "you're doing a great job! Thanks!" she of course replied with "oh why thank you" and then I said "the first time I came here, another girl cut my hair, she's great as well! Haven't seen her since, where is she?" (I described how she looked like of course I'm not gonna say her name hah). And that other girl said "Ohhh, yeah, she doesn't work here anymore" And I thought to myself "damn..."

 

 

So what should I do here? Should I add her on facebook? We have no mutual friends whatsoever. There's literally no way of seeing her again anywhere (maaaybe by a sheer coincidence somewhere, but it's pretty slim). Would it be creepy to add her?

 

I mean, I'm probably going by a long shot here, she could have been nice only to get a bigger tip but I dunno, I felt great talking to her! And I really wanted to get to know her better, could she be interested? Should I add her on facebook? What do you think?

[smudge21]

Think you're chasing the act rather than the actor here. In other words, you've fallen for the image she portrays when working, that friendly chatty persona she probably has to put out for every customer. Not saying she's not a nice person, but often people who have to meet the public in their profession have to be that level of friendly. For us men, we can often mistake that for them having some greater interest in us (there's a thread on here about a guy interested in a waitress which describes this better). Sadly for you, I would leave this one. All you have left is to stalk her on social media and I would never ever suggest that. Maybe (maybe) if you bumped into her whilst out and about you could say hi and see how she is, but don't expect her to be the same or to even remember you.

[jayyy8]

Yeah... You're most likely right, I mean that's what I've been thinking as well, but still, I hoped I might have a chance if I actually make a contact, somehow... Even if it's just facebook. It's really hard to know and to actually recognize interest as you said when you're dealing with people in this kind of field of work.

 

And about her not remembering me, I wasn't even thinking about that, she must have had thousands of new costumers after me, I could probably (I mean most likely) be just another guy for her... Yeah... I'll have to leave this one, maybe I'll meet her by some weird fate-like coincidence (there's 3 million people living in my city) and start up a convo... But yeah... Probably not...

 

Thanks for the advice! Was really good to hear another opinion on this.

[Scarlett.O'hara]

If you have her details and are really keen why not send her a message on Facebook? She might be really flattered, curious or creeped out.. she might even have a partner, who knows? You never know unless you try, right?

 

Due to the fact you don't really know her I would not "add" her as a friend. A message is less intrusive, and she can decide if she wants to message you back or not.

 

You only live once.

[gimlynick]

Exactly like Scarlett says:

 

If you don't try you don't know.

 

 

I should go for the direct attack. Send a friend request, type a message like 'hey, I recognized you on facebook! I've received so many compliments about my hair when you cut it. I owe you a drink'

 

It's very straight forward, but hey, you will know directly where you are.

 

Good luck

[jayyy8]

Hah thanks for the tips! Yeah you actually encouraged me to add her on facebook even though I don't really like doing it, but it's the only way of contacting her... We'll see what happens, I'll add her sometime today!

[Scarlett.O'hara]

Nooooo... don't! From a female perspective it is too much, way to pushy!

 

Send her a message not a Friends Request.. she may not even remember you. Build up to it if she responds positively to the message.

 

Oh well to late.. I tried to help. *sigh*

[preraph]

On FB , ask her where she's cutting hair now. Then make an appointment asking for her. But listen, they are ALL super nice and chatty. They consider it part of their job. Next time, while talking find out if she's married or has a bf. Tell her you're single. See what her reaction is before going further.

[Cinnamonstix]

I totally agree with Scarlett. Sending fb friend requests are intrusive... and lame.

 

I'd just send an honest message about finding her through the company page and wanting to get to know her with a bit of humour in it... if you can pull it off without trying too hard to be funny.

[jayyy8]

Yeah yeah I said 'sometime today' didn't send any requests yet... I agree, it can be intrusive, I'll start with a message then. Thanks a lot for the tips!

[truth_seeker]

OP, she might not get the message. If you're not friends on FB it goes to the other folder and she might miss it. There is a chance she has messenger and she might get it.

 

I suggest to continue your investigation. You got her full name... go to LinkedIn. Find out where she is working now. She might have updated her profile. Go through her FB to see if she updated her work status. Find out where she works and go there. Call to make an appointment with her. In person, tell her she did such a great job and the other girls at her old place not doing your hair justice. As a stylist she'll get it and appreciate it. Mention someone told you her name and where she worked. You then build a rapport with her over time. If all goes well, you strike - only if she's single and you feel after some time you guys are clicking beyond client and stylist.

[Erik30]

Just add her and send a message.

If she thinkes you're cute, she'll like it... if she doesn't, you'll be "creepy," and she'll probably ignore it.

Either way, you have nothing to lose really.

[Dark Horse]

Yeah why not try to find her on Facebook and add her as a friend then send her a message?

 

I did that with a girl in one of my classes and it turned out going pretty well. And if I would have never messaged her, then I never would have known whether it worked out or not.

 

Then another girl I chickened out and I regret never messaging her. This was back a month ago.

 

Reject is usually better than regret. It's all about risk and reward, the risk is getting rejected which really isn't that bad other than it hurts for a little bit and the reward is obviously a girlfriend or sex or whatever. If she thinks you're a creeper just because you message her, then who cares?

Edited May 13, 2016 by Dark Horse