Best way/place to meet men over 45?

[Lady2163]

Make that single men over the age of 45.

 

I'm really not much of a sports fan or hunting/fishing/camping woman. My hobbies and leisure activities are pretty female based and solitary.

 

I'm getting ready to move to a city and was wondering about some good places or websites? I've been out of the loop for a while.

[AMJ]

San Francisco.

 

Enjoy! It's the Peter Pan city.

[SunnyWeather]

San Francisco.

 

Enjoy! It's the Peter Pan city.

 

seriously? if she's looking for a 'man' why would she move to a place known for its man-boys? not to mention it being one of the most expensive places in the world. I've never come across so many passive men anywhere in the world like I encounter in SF.

 

It is great, however, if you like techy geeky types or looking for a new best gay BF.

[Lady2163]

I already know which city! It's not San Francisco. Lol

[oldshirt]

ourtime dot com

[oldshirt]

I just turned 52 but am still in relatively good shape. I'm old fashioned enough to think that the best opportunities to find a compatible match is through friends and relatives. The whole birds of a feather thing.

 

 

Someone that is in your social circle or one of your relatives or someone at work or one of the gals at your hair salon knows a man that would be a good match for you.

 

 

Be marketable and be on the market. But open to meeting people that folks who know you, think you will hit it off with.

[thefooloftheyear]

Trump rally?

 

 

 

TFY

[carhill]

Social network

 

Civic organizations

 

Shared interests

 

Since you're moving, I'd say develop your social network first through shared interests, including those with other women.

[CarrieT]

San Francisco.

 

Enjoy! It's the Peter Pan city.

 

Worst advice ever. I was single - at age 45 - in San Francisco and all the men my age who were date-able were divorced and living in the suburbs; i.e. East Bay, Marin, or the Peninsula.

 

The city is rife with single people (not just gay men!), but they are all young hipsters. Trust me, I had my share of MILF-hunting FWB from that stock, but not relationship-minded, middle-aged men....

 

I ended up loving to Napa only to find my eventual husband (as suspected) living south of the city and even that process took about five years.

[Gaeta]

75% of single of all ages are on dating websites.

 

I read a good place to meet single is political convention. With the US election coming up this sounds like a good option for you. Try volunteering for the party you favor.

[EatYourVeggies]

ourtime dot com

 

Mid 40s and none of my buddies (30s / 40s / 50s) would be caught dead online dating. The only guys I have met and heard who do that you wouldn't want to date (looking for mommy, let themselves go, desperate, etc).

 

Professional Organizations

Take some golf lessons at a nice golf course in your area.

Church

Sports Leagues

Boat / Car / Gun / Motorcycle Shows

Wine / Food Tastings

Skiing / running / bike clubs

Gym

 

Someone earlier joked about Political Organizations but those are not a bad idea. I do know several really great friends of mine who are involved and attend a lot of these functions. Like most things in life, they are very stereotypical so pick your poison that best suits the type of guy / people you enjoy. The guys I know who are artsy / fartsy, metrosexual, Hipster / Hippy, blue collar / Union type are into Democrat organizations. Business owners, well to do, family men, religious, dinner and movie type guys are into Republican organizations.

 

Once March Madness (College Basketball Tournament) rolls around... Many of my friends and I hang out and watch a lot of games in places like upscale Sports Bars and Wing type restaurants.

 

It's not difficult to find us. Put yourself in places and do things men my age are interested in and enjoy doing.

[LydiaLong]

I agree. I met the love of my life through friends I had known for 30 years. I'm older than you.

[AMJ]

Worst advice ever. I was single - at age 45 - in San Francisco and all the men my age who were date-able were divorced and living in the suburbs; i.e. East Bay, Marin, or the Peninsula.

 

The city is rife with single people (not just gay men!), but they are all young hipsters. Trust me, I had my share of MILF-hunting FWB from that stock, but not relationship-minded, middle-aged men....

 

I ended up loving to Napa only to find my eventual husband (as suspected) living south of the city and even that process took about five years.

 

I was half-joking. I just left SF. After 4 years of ONLY meeting men in their mid 40s who had never been married. A sprinkle of men in their 30s who did want relationships but the majority of singletons wanted to date freely, and then 20something hipsters I never even tried talking to.

 

Also- to the advice about using your relatives/social circle...when you move to a new city you likely don't have relatives and a social circle! And if you're me, your friends and relatives have no single friends to refer to you.

[truth_seeker]

I agree. I met the love of my life through friends I had known for 30 years. I'm older than you.

 

There was a time where there was no internet, OLD, speed dating... you lived in a town and everyone gathered at the local hall or club to eat, mingle and dance. That's where you met your mate.

 

Today, it's the Wild West. Good luck!

[Wewon]

Mid 40s and none of my buddies (30s / 40s / 50s) would be caught dead online dating. The only guys I have met and heard who do that you wouldn't want to date (looking for mommy, let themselves go, desperate, etc).

 

Professional Organizations

Take some golf lessons at a nice golf course in your area.

Church

Sports Leagues

Boat / Car / Gun / Motorcycle Shows

Wine / Food Tastings

Skiing / running / bike clubs

Gym

 

Someone earlier joked about Political Organizations but those are not a bad idea. I do know several really great friends of mine who are involved and attend a lot of these functions. Like most things in life, they are very stereotypical so pick your poison that best suits the type of guy / people you enjoy. The guys I know who are artsy / fartsy, metrosexual, Hipster / Hippy, blue collar / Union type are into Democrat organizations. Business owners, well to do, family men, religious, dinner and movie type guys are into Republican organizations.

 

Once March Madness (College Basketball Tournament) rolls around... Many of my friends and I hang out and watch a lot of games in places like upscale Sports Bars and Wing type restaurants.

 

It's not difficult to find us. Put yourself in places and do things men my age are interested in and enjoy doing.

 

 

I'm 45 and this is probably the best advice so far.

 

If I were single, as a man, I would avoid online dating like the plague, not because of some kind of pride about OLD, but because of all of the horror stories that i hear about it. Women are pretty quick to share their horror stories and I suspect that causes them to approach OLD with a lot of biases against any man.

 

Also, keep in mind that men are doers and single ones even moreso. You improve your chances dramatically by developing hobbies and interest that involve you getting out and getting involved in things.

[Lady2163]

Mid 40s and none of my buddies (30s / 40s / 50s) would be caught dead online dating. The only guys I have met and heard who do that you wouldn't want to date (looking for mommy, let themselves go, desperate, etc).

 

Professional Organizations

Take some golf lessons at a nice golf course in your area.

Church

Sports Leagues

Boat / Car / Gun / Motorcycle Shows

Wine / Food Tastings

Skiing / running / bike clubs

Gym

 

Someone earlier joked about Political Organizations but those are not a bad idea. I do know several really great friends of mine who are involved and attend a lot of these functions. Like most things in life, they are very stereotypical so pick your poison that best suits the type of guy / people you enjoy. The guys I know who are artsy / fartsy, metrosexual, Hipster / Hippy, blue collar / Union type are into Democrat organizations. Business owners, well to do, family men, religious, dinner and movie type guys are into Republican organizations.

 

Once March Madness (College Basketball Tournament) rolls around... Many of my friends and I hang out and watch a lot of games in places like upscale Sports Bars and Wing type restaurants.

 

It's not difficult to find us. Put yourself in places and do things men my age are interested in and enjoy doing.

 

The thing is, beyond the Boston Red Sox, I'm not a sports fan. Sadly, I'm not moving to New England. I actually have gone to sports bars during baseball season wearing a Red Sox t-shirt. I was never able to maneuver the situation where I had a conversation that led to any kind of connection. I did change my seat, I did watch to see who was cheering for the Sox, etc.

 

Sports fans can be....hmmm....what's a good word? Well, I figure I spend about 10 hours total a week on my hobbies. I may have the Sox game playing on the TV, but I don't watch all 162+ games a year. You find a man who follows a local high school team, a college team and a professional team and then if he is one of those who watches the arch rival team play and cheers them to lose, that's a LOT of time spent in pursuit of a hobby. That can wipe out a weekend as well.

 

I'd be a raving shrew to a man like that. I have been a raving shrew to men like that who I was dating. This is kind of a rhetorical question, but how many leisure hours a week do you think a man or woman in a relationship should devote to an activity the partner is excluded from by preference?

 

I'm a diehard Independent. I've worked from home for many years and am selling my business and "retiring". It's amazing what a hermit I've been.

 

Thanks for your suggestions, you did actually give me an idea! It's going to,take me out of my comfort zone, but it is an idea.

[smackie9]

There are men out there that are home bodies too. Try bookstores/coffee shop, outdoor cafe, flea market, garage sales, outdoor market, charity/community events, art show, museum,film festival, music festival, etc. I agree meeting someone through friends is the best. Just make new friends with women through your hobbies, I bet they will know someone.

[SunnyWeather]

Worst advice ever. I was single - at age 45 - in San Francisco and all the men my age who were date-able were divorced and living in the suburbs; i.e. East Bay, Marin, or the Peninsula.

 

The city is rife with single people (not just gay men!), but they are all young hipsters. Trust me, I had my share of MILF-hunting FWB from that stock, but not relationship-minded, middle-aged men....

 

I ended up loving to Napa only to find my eventual husband (as suspected) living south of the city and even that process took about five years.

 

totally agree. Napa, Sonoma and Mill Valley seems to have more middle-aged, single fathers. What I've encountered are a lot of them are recently divorced and looking for fun and NSA.

[d0nnivain]

Lady2163

 

 

I'm shocked you didn't get more play when you went to a bar wearing a Red Sox shirt. I wouldn't give up on that idea. Just go to a different bar.

 

 

You will need to get out of your house. Check the web in your new city for singles events & just general events. There are all sorts of niche dating groups.

 

 

I did one called Leashes & Lovers because I could bring my dog. He gave me the confidence to go alone. Granted my gorgeous Dalmatian garnered me way more attention then all the women who had little tiny toy dogs that fit in their purses.

 

 

There was a Wine Lovers dinner. That was great because I got to try new restaurants too.

 

 

I was about to sign up for one where they pair you with somebody to play a round of golf.

 

 

I went to a MeetUp group that played board games. It was a hoot.

 

 

I'm not suggesting what interested me should interest you but I offer these examples to show you how diverse your options are. There are beer tasters; movie goers; theater goers; hikers; bird watchers, etc.

 

 

I second the political realm. Volunteer for your favorite candidate. It doesn't have to be on the presidential level. Your local mayor needs help too.

 

 

Try joining a civic / charitable group like the Elks, the Lions, the Red Cross etc.

[Lady2163]

Damn it! I have one of those little purse dogs! :-)

 

The Red Sox are not the local team, we're talking a town of 30,000 people 1700 miles or so from Bahhhston!

[EatYourVeggies]

The thing is, beyond the Boston Red Sox, I'm not a sports fan. Sadly, I'm not moving to New England. I actually have gone to sports bars during baseball season wearing a Red Sox t-shirt. I was never able to maneuver the situation where I had a conversation that led to any kind of connection. I did change my seat, I did watch to see who was cheering for the Sox, etc.

 

I am not into shopping, girly movies, clothes, make up, sharing my feelings or emotions, etc. but women still fascinate me.

 

My friends and I also don't want to date "ourself". We want a women who has own their "own things" and brings "that" to the table. Back to the sports things, my friends and I have always dated "girly girls" and I can't remember any who were not clueless or cared about sports.

 

Sports fans can be....hmmm....what's a good word? Well, I figure I spend about 10 hours total a week on my hobbies. I may have the Sox game playing on the TV, but I don't watch all 162+ games a year. You find a man who follows a local high school team, a college team and a professional team and then if he is one of those who watches the arch rival team play and cheers them to lose, that's a LOT of time spent in pursuit of a hobby. That can wipe out a weekend as well.

 

Lol! Let's not use extremes as pretend they are the norm. I'm not talking about a losers or Frat Boy who did not grow up.

 

None of my friends and I own / wear jerseys. We don't listen to sports talk radio. We do not have a "shrine" in our house to our favorite team. We do not watch games for hours on. Sure, we will set time aside for a "big game" and spend a few hours here and there (escape / relaxing) but we also have life balance, responsibilities, commitments, other hobbies / interests and a life.

 

I'm a diehard Independent. I've worked from home for many years and am selling my business and "retiring". It's amazing what a hermit I've been.

 

Terrific! None of my friends and I are attracted to women pushovers or doormats. We don't want a woman who needs a man to "define" you, be your "daddy" or "babysitter". Yawn....

 

Strong, Independent, Complex women who "rock the boat", won't "take our crap", challenge us, little bit of sass / attitude which depending on the situation is either sexy or very amusing to us.

[d0nnivain]

Damn it! I have one of those little purse dogs! :-)

 

The Red Sox are not the local team, we're talking a town of 30,000 people 1700 miles or so from Bahhhston!

 

 

I would think the farther you are from Boston the more play the shirt would get you. In New England, Sox fans are everywhere.

 

 

For example, I am a rabid Penn State fan but in PA so is everyone else. When I wear my Penn State stuff else where, fellow alums always come over, especially when I'm out of the country or in California, the Midwest or Florida.

 

 

I don't dislike little dogs, I just love the spotted ones more.

[Popsicle]

I asked this question once before, albeit for men 40+.

 

Like you, my hobbies are mostly feminine in character and the advice I got was to focus on masculine hobbies to meet men.

 

So yeah, it's gonna be hard. lol

[carhill]

There can be a middle ground on the hobby thing..... as example, lady is out shopping at mall and notices car show going on in parking lot; lady wanders around a bit, is friendly, leans over a few fenders being careful not to touch them but also being careful for said men to enjoy her, er, feminine beauty, and nature takes its course.

 

A corollary of how women have met me, an over 45 male, is women, usually in pairs but sometimes not, are walking the beach and come and peer in my bucket and ask how the fish are biting. They don't need to be fishing experts.

[Popsicle]

There can be a middle ground on the hobby thing..... as example, lady is out shopping at mall and notices car show going on in parking lot; lady wanders around a bit, is friendly, leans over a few fenders being careful not to touch them but also being careful for said men to enjoy her, er, feminine beauty, and nature takes its course.

 

A corollary of how women have met me, an over 45 male, is women, usually in pairs but sometimes not, are walking the beach and come and peer in my bucket and ask how the fish are biting. They don't need to be fishing experts.

 

That would be the only way something like that is going to happen to me.