DatingDirection Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 We met on OLD site. I haven't met him yet, and yet he is sending me texts at the start of the day, saying Good morning beautiful. Things like that. We plan to meet, but already i don't like getting texts like that, as if we're in a relationship, since WE HAVEN'T EVEN MET. What if he meets me and doesn't like what i look like? Doesn't it seem like he's either a) a player or b) very needy? I have already committed to meeting him, so I guess I will meet him. Although im really nervious, since he placed alot of emphasis on the fact he thinks we are going to hit it off so well, even before meeting me. Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 Ugh. I hate that. I find it such a turn off... we haven't even met! What's qith the good morning texts?? I find it too overbearing for my taste and usually cut it off completely. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DatingDirection Posted February 26, 2016 Author Share Posted February 26, 2016 Yes that's it, it's overbearing and turn's me off. Especially since we haven't met. Because then it becomes something else, when after he's met me, he doesn't text me, it's just a mindless way of saying: I think you're ugly, and I'm not attracted to you, but I've played with your feelings before hand, even though it wasn't real, and i didn't really mean what i have said so far, or i take back everything i have said, now that i've met you. A.K.A I am fake and shallow. Or it can go the other way, and he likes what he sees, and becomes overbearing even more. Which turns me off. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 DD he is trying to keep your interest until you meet. He is keen and wants to meet you. Try not to judge him until you do meet. Just relax and enjoy. You can be polite and happy you don't need to read anything into those texts at all. Just breathe. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 We met on OLD site. I haven't met him yet, and yet he is sending me texts at the start of the day, saying Good morning beautiful. Things like that. We plan to meet, but already i don't like getting texts like that, as if we're in a relationship, since WE HAVEN'T EVEN MET. If anyone ever wanted the definition of creepy, this is it.... What if he meets me and doesn't like what i look like? Doesn't it seem like he's either a) a player or b) very needy? Never mind that - I don't like HIM already! If you have any doubts whatsoever, I would back away at a 100 miles/hour, I really would! I have already committed to meeting him, so I guess I will meet him. Excuse me, but that's just silly. There is nothing written in stone, anywhere, that states you HAVE to meet him. You are NOT committed to meeting him, and you can back out at any time. Although im really nervious, since he placed alot of emphasis on the fact he thinks we are going to hit it off so well, even before meeting me.Do not meet him. And even if you do, make sure you bring someone with you! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 It's kind of an indicator that the person is "in love" with the vision/idealized thought of another person and what the future would look like to them. In other words, he's projecting already and not focusing on the here and now. If a person is doing that in their head, when they finally meet in person, they are disappointed because she isn't what he imagined. It's not that there was necessarily anything wrong with her at all. Sometimes they are just living in their own head. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
misspond Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 It can be difficult when someone is so keen before you've even met physically, and it can indicate that someone is needy in real life (first hand experience speaking here and I appreciate YMMV). Link to post Share on other sites
Author DatingDirection Posted February 26, 2016 Author Share Posted February 26, 2016 If anyone ever wanted the definition of creepy, this is it.... Never mind that - I don't like HIM already! If you have any doubts whatsoever, I would back away at a 100 miles/hour, I really would! Excuse me, but that's just silly. There is nothing written in stone, anywhere, that states you HAVE to meet him. You are NOT committed to meeting him, and you can back out at any time. Do not meet him. And even if you do, make sure you bring someone with you! LOL!!! Okay...now you've just made me laugh so hard, but yet, freaked me out a bit. I don't think he's a serial killer. lol. We have had good conversations via texts. Of course when i do meet him, it will be in public. But you did kind of creep me out a bit with these ideas, lol. That's the risk with OLD. ISN'T IT? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DatingDirection Posted February 26, 2016 Author Share Posted February 26, 2016 It's kind of an indicator that the person is "in love" with the vision/idealized thought of another person and what the future would look like to them. In other words, he's projecting already and not focusing on the here and now. If a person is doing that in their head, when they finally meet in person, they are disappointed because she isn't what he imagined. It's not that there was necessarily anything wrong with her at all. Sometimes they are just living in their own head. OK, but as an adult male well over his 20's, he should be a bit more mature than that. Don't you think? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 I wouldn't agree to meet a man alone ever, no matter how we originally connected. And frankly, I would have knocked his advances and over-familiarity on the head as soon as it began, I wouldn't have waited. If someone starts taking damned liberties, I'm so out of there.... Thirdly, I wouldn't agree to meet him at all, within the first month of connecting via OLD. I would give it at least a month, with skype thrown in. Link to post Share on other sites
Methodical Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 Sounds like he is trying to be charismatic and doesn't realize his behavior is overkill and gives off a desperate/creepy vibe. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DatingDirection Posted February 26, 2016 Author Share Posted February 26, 2016 DD he is trying to keep your interest until you meet. He is keen and wants to meet you. Try not to judge him until you do meet. Just relax and enjoy. You can be polite and happy you don't need to read anything into those texts at all. Just breathe. Yes, that was my initial thought, until the texts became routine. On one hand i want to relax and just meet someone new because i don't have a lot of experience in dating. My last date was over a year ago. I also just want to go and see the reactions i get when meeting someone new. How I come across, how im seen in the eyes of males. I've been a bit of a hermit lately. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 OK, but as an adult male well over his 20's, he should be a bit more mature than that. Don't you think? he should be a bit more mature -- yes, he could/should be but he's not demonstrating it at this point . . . He may very well be more mature IRL. Who knows? It's just a possible explanation for why people turn away after a first meeting. And, reading these boards, we see men/women in their 50's who are emotionally immature all the time 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DatingDirection Posted February 26, 2016 Author Share Posted February 26, 2016 I wouldn't agree to meet a man alone ever, no matter how we originally connected. And frankly, I would have knocked his advances and over-familiarity on the head as soon as it began, I wouldn't have waited. If someone starts taking damned liberties, I'm so out of there.... Thirdly, I wouldn't agree to meet him at all, within the first month of connecting via OLD. I would give it at least a month, with skype thrown in. Really? You would talk for a month before meeting? To me, that's a waist of time. It's all about connection in real life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 Really? You would talk for a month before meeting? To me, that's a waist of time. It's all about connection in real life. Listen, if this is potentially a great relationship, a month is nothing. I want to see him in a home environment and see if he is living with someone, and what he looks and sounds like, I want to get to know him 'at a distance' before doing anything else. "Fools rush in...." This is not time wasted. As for your situation, I think you've wasted enough time with this bone-head, and frankly, in your shoes, I'd move on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Larryville Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 he should be a bit more mature -- yes, he could/should be but he's not demonstrating it at this point . . . Sounds like he is trying to be charismatic and doesn't realize his behavior is overkill and gives off a desperate/creepy vibe. frankly, I would have knocked his advances and over-familiarity on the head as soon as it began that's just silly. There is nothing written in stone, anywhere, that states you HAVE to meet him. don't like getting texts like that, as if we're in a relationship, since WE HAVEN'T EVEN MET. I’m amazed after reading so many of these threads with similar situations the obvious sticks out like a freaking sore thumb. Nobody else thinks that a dude have having never seen you is saying “Good morning beautiful,” comes off as fake and phony as a 3 dollar bill? That is beyond creepy. In this day where mental illness is so prevalent in society someone clearly shows that right off the bat and folks would ignore that? Ok… Link to post Share on other sites
AnnaGem Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 If anyone ever wanted the definition of creepy, this is it.... Never mind that - I don't like HIM already! If you have any doubts whatsoever, I would back away at a 100 miles/hour, I really would! Excuse me, but that's just silly. There is nothing written in stone, anywhere, that states you HAVE to meet him. You are NOT committed to meeting him, and you can back out at any time. Do not meet him. And even if you do, make sure you bring someone with you! I second all of this, but add, do NOT meet him..even with someone else.. This guy lost his chance.. I would drop him. Link to post Share on other sites
Jejangles Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 I have had guys do that from online dating before we met and it immediately rubs me the long way... And when I have met them in person, it's not like they're a serial killer or anything (hey, I'm here telling the story) but we have never connected or gone on to a second. They're usually fantasists going off a photo and profile usually, disconnected from reality. There is probably no real danger in meeting this guy (I'm assuming public place) but I would have an escape plan ready. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 (edited) Just me, but men who call me beautiful, gorgeous, babe, baby, love, or sweetheart, just to name a few BEFORE ever even meeting me are NEXTED, immediately. It's their attempt to set up a false intimacy prior to meeting, usually because they have one thing in mind when we DO meet -- sex. After experiencing this phenomenon many years ago when I did OLD, I am pretty much on to their game now and stay clear of men who do this. Plus it's just a turn off. Edited February 26, 2016 by katiegrl Link to post Share on other sites
Author DatingDirection Posted February 26, 2016 Author Share Posted February 26, 2016 So, should o go on a date with guy then? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 Personally, I honestly wouldn't. What does your gut instinct tell you? You already dislike the way he addresses you and sends you texts (good morning beautiful) even though you have never met yet.... Me? I'd cry off..... Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 So, should o go on a date with guy then? I would be turned off, so if it were me, no I would cancel. But course you have to do what YOU are comfortable with, no one else can answer that for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 Yes, that was my initial thought, until the texts became routine. On one hand i want to relax and just meet someone new because i don't have a lot of experience in dating. My last date was over a year ago. I also just want to go and see the reactions i get when meeting someone new. How I come across, how im seen in the eyes of males. I've been a bit of a hermit lately. This is one of those dammed if you do/dont. If he doesn't text you after setting up a meeting place abd time then complaints come in. He regularly texts you and c9mplaints happen. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 This is one of those dammed if you do/dont. If he doesn't text you after setting up a meeting place abd time then complaints come in. He regularly texts you and c9mplaints happen. There should be a balance. A few texts here and there before a meet = fabulous. But "good morning beautiful" texts every single day before meeting = too much! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 I can see how it come off as creepy and a turn-off seeing as he laid on the compliments rather quickly. Not everyone is comfortable with the nicknames like "babe", "baby", etc. Funny though because Im currently dating a guy I met on an online dating app and we actually talked for more than 3 months before meeting. He would always text me good morning when he woke up. At first I thought it was rather annoying considering he and I never met before, but afterwards I grew accustomed to it. But he never came on strong so boundaries were never crossed. I guess your boundaries are clear- you dont want fake compliments and don't want any guy to come on strong. Link to post Share on other sites
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