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What does LS think about these "rules" for keeping a woman's attraction?


spriggan2

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Preface - I'm a very passive (male) individual who failed at my first relationship partially by letting a women walk all over me, not taking enough leadership/power. Now trying to correct my behavior and become more assertive, thus looking for advice on the less submissive side of the behavioral spectrum. Came across this list, showed it to some friends who thought it was right on the money. Goes against many preconceptions I had about relationships, but I'm curious to know what you guys think.

 

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The Sixteen Commandments Of Poon

 

I. Never say ‘I Love You’ first

 

Women want to feel like they have to overcome obstacles to win a man’s heart. They crave the challenge of capturing the interest of a man who has other women competing for his attention, and eventually prevailing over his grudging reluctance to award his committed exclusivity. The man who gives his emotional world away too easily robs women of the satisfaction of earning his love. Though you may be in love with her, don’t say it before she has said it. Show compassionate restraint for her need to struggle toward yin fulfillment. Inspire her to take the leap for you, and she’ll return the favor a thousandfold.

 

II. Make her jealous

 

Flirt with other women in front of her. Do not dissuade other women from flirting with you. Women will never admit this but jealousy excites them. The thought of you turning on another woman will arouse her sexually. No girl wants a man that no other woman wants. The partner who harnesses the gale storm of jealousy controls the direction of the relationship.

 

III. You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority

 

Forget all those romantic cliches of the leading man proclaiming his undying love for the woman who completes him. Despite whatever protestations to the contrary, women do not want to be “The One” or the center of a man’s existence. They in fact want to subordinate themselves to a worthy man’s life purpose, to help him achieve that purpose with their feminine support, and to follow the path he lays out. You must respect a woman’s integrity and not lie to her that she is “your everything”. She is not your everything, and if she is, she will soon not be anymore.

 

IV. Don’t play by her rules

 

If you allow a woman to make the rules she will resent you with a seething contempt even a rapist cannot inspire. The strongest woman and the most strident feminist wants to be led by, and to submit to, a more powerful man. Polarity is the core of a healthy loving relationship. She does not want the prerogative to walk all over you with her capricious demands and mercurial moods. Her emotions are a hurricane, her soul a saboteur. Think of yourself as a bulwark against her tempest. When she grasps for a pillar to steady herself against the whipping winds or yearns for an authority figure to foil her worst instincts, it is you who has to be there… strong, solid, unshakeable and immovable.

 

V. Adhere to the golden ratio

 

Give your woman 2/3 of everything she gives you. For every three calls or texts, give her two back. Three declarations of love earn two in return. Three gifts; two nights out. Give her two displays of affection and stop until she has answered with three more. When she speaks, you reply with fewer words. When she emotes, you emote less. The idea behind the golden ratio is twofold — it establishes your greater value by making her chase you, and it demonstrates that you have the self-restraint to avoid getting swept up in her personal dramas. Refraining from reciprocating everything she does for you in equal measure instills in her the proper attitude of belief in your higher status. In her deepest loins it is what she truly wants.

VI. Keep her guessing

 

True to their inscrutable natures, women ask questions they don’t really want direct answers to. Woe be the man who plays it straight — his fate is the suffering of the beta. Evade, tease, obfuscate. She thrives when she has to imagine what you’re thinking about her, and withers when she knows exactly how you feel. A woman may want financial and family security, but she does not want passion security. In the same manner, when she has displeased you, punish swiftly, but when she has done you right, reward slowly. Reward her good behavior intermittently and unpredictably and she will never tire of working hard to please you.

 

VII. Always keep two in the kitty

 

Never allow yourself to be a “kept man”. A man with options is a man without need. It builds confidence and encourages boldness with women if there is another woman, a safety net, to catch you in case you slip and risk a breakup, divorce, or a lost prospect, leading to loneliness and a grinding dry spell. A woman knows once she has slept with a man she has abdicated a measure of her power; when she has fallen in love with him she has surrendered nearly all of it. But love is ephemeral and with time she may rediscover her power and threaten to leave you. It is her final trump card. Withdrawing all her love and all her body in an instant will rend your soul if you are faced with contemplating the empty abyss alone. Knowing there is another you can turn to for affection will fortify your will and satisfy your manhood.

VIII. Say you’re sorry only when absolutely necessary

 

Do not say you’re sorry for every wrong thing you do. It is a posture of submission that no man should reflexively adopt, no matter how alpha he is. Apologizing increases the demand for more apologies. She will come to expect your contrition, like a cat expects its meal at a set time each day. And then your value will lower in her eyes. Instead, if you have done something wrong, you should acknowledge your guilt in a glancing way without resorting to the actual words “I’m sorry.” Pull the Bill Clinton maneuver and say “Mistakes were made” or tell her you “feel bad” about what you did. You are granted two freebie “I’m sorry”s for the life of your relationship; use them wisely.

 

IX. Connect with her emotions

 

Set yourself apart from other men and connect with a woman’s emotional landscape. Her mind is an alien world that requires deft navigation to reach your rendevous. Frolic in the surf of emotions rather than the arid desert of logic. Be playful. Employ all your senses. Describe in lush detail scenarios to set her heart afire. Give your feelings freedom to roam. ROAM. Yes, that is a good word. You’re not on a linear path with her. You are ROAMING all over, taking her on an adventure. In this world, there is no need to finish thoughts or draw conclusions. There is only need to EXPERIENCE. You’re grabbing her hand and running with her down an infinite, labyrinthine alleyway with no end, laughing and letting your fingers glide on the cobblestone walls along the way.

 

X. Ignore her beauty

 

The man who trains his mind to subdue the reward centers of his brain when reflecting upon a beautiful female face will magically transform his interactions with women. His apprehension and self-consciousness will melt away, paving the path for more honest and self-possessed interactions with the objects of his desire. This is one reason why the greatest lotharios drown in more love than they can handle — through positive experiences with so many beautiful women they lose their awe of beauty and, in turn, their powerlessness under its spell. It will help you acquire the right frame of mind to stop using the words hot, cute, gorgeous, or beautiful to describe girls who turn you on. Instead, say to yourself “she’s interesting” or “she might be worth getting to know”. Never compliment a girl on her looks, especially not a girl you aren’t f-cking. Turn off that part of your brain that wants to put them on pedestals. Further advanced training to reach this state of unawed Zen transcendence is to sleep with many MANY attractive women (try to avoid sleeping with a lot of ugly women if you don’t want to regress). Soon, a Jedi lover you will be.

 

XI. Be irrationally self-confident

 

No matter what your station in life, stride through the world without apology or excuse. It does not matter if objectively you are not the best man a woman can get; what matters is that you think and act like you are. Women have a dog’s instinct for uncovering weakness in men; don’t make it easy for them. Self-confidence, warranted or not, triggers submissive emotional responses in women. Irrational self-confidence will get you more pussy than rational defeatism.

 

XII. Maximize your strengths, minimize your weaknesses

 

In the betterment of ourselves as men we attract women into our orbit. To accomplish this gravitational pull as painlessly and efficiently as possible, you must identify your natural talents and shortcomings and parcel your efforts accordingly. If you are a gifted jokester, don’t waste time and energy trying to raise your status in philosophical debate. If you write well but dance poorly, don’t kill yourself trying to expand your manly influence on the dancefloor. Your goal should be to attract women effortlessly, so play to your strengths no matter what they are; there is a groupie for every male endeavor. Except World of Warcraft.

 

XIII. Err on the side of too much boldness, rather than too little

 

Touching a woman inappropriately on the first date will get you further with her than not touching her at all. Don’t let a woman’s faux indignation at your boldness sway you; they secretly love it when a man aggressively pursues what he wants and makes his sexual intentions known. You don’t have to be an *******, but if you have no choice, being an inconsiderate ******* beats being a polite beta, every time.

 

XIV. F-ck her good

 

F-ck her like it’s your last f-ck. And hers. F-ck her so good, so hard, so wantonly, so profligately that she is left a quivering, sparking mass of shaking flesh and sex fluids. Drain her of everything, then drain her some more. Kiss her all over, make love to her all night, and hold her close in the morning. Own her body, own her gratitude, own her love. If you don’t know how, learn to give her squirting orgasms.

 

XV. Maintain your state control

 

You are an oak tree. You will not be manipulated by crying, yelling, lying, head games, sexual withdrawal, jealousy ploys, pity plays, sh-t tests, hot/cold/hot/cold, disappearing acts, or guilt trips. She will rain and thunder all around you and you will shelter her until her storm passes. She will not drag you into her chaos or uproot you. When you have mastery over yourself, you will have mastery over her.

 

XVI. Never be afraid to lose her

 

You must not fear. Fear is the love-killer. Fear is the ego-triumph that brings abject loneliness. You will face your fear. You will permit it to pass over and through you. And when your ego-fear is gone you will turn and face your lover, and only your heart will remain. You will walk away from her when she has violated your integrity, and you will let her walk when her heart is closed to you. She who can destroy you, controls you. Don’t give her that power over yourself. Love yourself before you love her.

Edited by spriggan2
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soleilesquire

This sounds jaded, passive aggressive, game-oriented, and reads like one of the many bitter red-pillers wrote it. It is terrible advice for a mature man who has any capability to care about anyone other than himself. This kind of man doesn't even LIKE women.

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If you follow most of those rules you will mostly find yourself alone..

 

IX. Connect with her emotions

 

and eff her good is about the only ones up there that make sense, the others will just drive a woman away...

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Sounds extremely cynical. Should be titled "how to possibly trick a woman into being superficially attracted to you."

 

Anyone who's chasing that for LTRs is way out of touch.

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soleilesquire
That book should have for title: How to stay single for the rest of your life.

 

Correction: How to Stay Single for the Rest of Your Life and Blame Women ;)

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If a guy acted like that I would run. I would call that book "How to attract doormats".

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OP, your first clue about its authenticity and true purpose should have been by actually reading the title of the essay: "The Sixteen Commandments of Poon".

 

Your second clue should have been when perusing the rest of the site on which you "came across this list" and noticed all the references to "Alpha" and "Beta" males.

 

 

Most quality women are really sick and tired of hearing all about the MGTOWers who 'are going to go their own way if those b*tches don't shape the f*ck up' and wish they'd simply get the show on the road, already.

 

 

Best of luck to you, OP...

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This sounds jaded, passive aggressive, game-oriented, and reads like one of the many bitter red-pillers wrote it.

 

 

This is straight off Return of Kings website

 

 

And yes…

 

Those aren't rules for confident, emotionally healthy people.
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Thanks for the feedback.

 

Reading through the list I was conflicted. On one hand this is not how I genuinely feel about women so if I were to behave like that I would be practicing disingenuous manipulation. Obviously could not keep it up forever.

 

That being said, my girlfriend did breakup with me and literally told me she didn't like the fact that I let her walk all over me, that I let her make the rules. She held on tighter at the suggestion of me seeing other women, and so as I was reading through the list I identified most points as behavior I was not implementing and could honestly understand how it would work on the particular girl I was dating.

 

So possibly I was dating a very superficial girl or one who wasn't ready to settle down. Possibly I'm just bitter after being dumped. Possibly there were other reasons for her loss of attraction as well (in fact there were).

 

Anyway, I'm just searching for answers. I'm definitely not ready for a serious relationship following a breakup so maybe in the casual dating field this might benefit me somewhat in the initial stages. I mean I really have to step up my game. Its hard in these streets.

Edited by spriggan2
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Michelle ma Belle

The title of that article should have said it all :The Sixteen Commandments Of Poon".

 

Do yourself a favor and NEVER take advice from Roosh V. and Return of Kings unless you want to your balls kicked in or arrested for aggravated assault.

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Thanks for the feedback.

 

Reading through the list I was conflicted. On one hand this is not how I genuinely feel about women so if I were to behave like that I would be practicing disingenuous manipulation. Obviously could not keep it up forever.

 

That being said, my girlfriend did breakup with me and literally told me she didn't like the fact that I let her walk all over me, that I let her make the rules. She held on tighter at the suggestion of me seeing other women, and so as I was reading through the list I identified most points as behavior I was not implementing and could honestly understand how it would work on the particular girl I was dating.

 

So possibly I was dating a very superficial girl or one who wasn't ready to settle down. Possibly I'm just bitter after being dumped. Possibly there were other reasons for her loss of attraction as well (in fact there were).

 

Anyway, I'm just searching for answers. I'm definitely not ready for a serious relationship following a breakup so maybe in the casual dating field this might benefit me somewhat in the initial stages. I mean I really have to step up my game. Its hard in these streets.

 

The problem w/these 'rules of -' type outlooks is specifically that they're often superficially right about some observations, but they're nonetheless targeting the wrong things to fix them with a bogus goal in mind. So yeah, your ex probably didn't like it when you let her walk all over her, but it wasn't that fact that made you fail, it was sth much more comprehensive that most likely had to do w/your overall character, not just one or two traits.

 

So you won't make this stuff right by adjusting specific surface behaviors like 'acting mean' or whatever. If you want to learn from your mistakes, you embrace them and integrate them into who you are as a wiser person, not try to reinvent yourself as someone who now does x-y-z artificially in the hope that an ex or a new GF won't notice you're being a fraud.

 

Ppl who have success w/that kind of approach have to be really good con men, and it's most always temporary anyway bc sooner or later ppl know sth stinks, and what you'll have 'gained' in the meantime is a superficial relationship w/someone you're lying to and manipulating. That's great if you just want to bang her a few times and run (the morality of that notwithstanding), but impossible for a traditional 'real' LTR with concepts like love and caring for well-being at the core.

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OP - I would recommend two books for you that I think would be helpful to you. The first is called "The Real Rules". It's about authenticity in relationships. The second is "No More Mr. Nice Guy" which is about confidence and boundaries. I also really like Dr. Pat Allen's books about gender roles.

 

If you can act confident, maintain boundaries, and be authentic, that is the best way to find your best match IMO.

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XIII. Err on the side of too much boldness, rather than too little

 

Touching a woman inappropriately on the first date will get you further with her than not touching her at all. Don’t let a woman’s faux indignation at your boldness sway you; they secretly love it when a man aggressively pursues what he wants and makes his sexual intentions known. You don’t have to be an *******, but if you have no choice, being an inconsiderate ******* beats being a polite beta, every time.

 

The book sort of sounds like it's advocating date rape. I think the OP might be better off looking at Buddhism sites before dating.

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soleilesquire

If you look into the lives of the men who write and read and embrace this stuff, most of them are socially awkward, biter, and/or project their experience with one woman her burned them onto every female.

 

You don't want to be like these "men."

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Um... I think this list is supposed to be an attempt at humor, making fun of men who are lost. If it's not intended as satire, then it's really sad.

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Regardless of the Poon Rules, I'm assuming you would like a LTR, therefore I'm not going to comment on how ridiculous that rule guide is for well adjusted, healthy mature men, since it has been covered. However I'm going to comment on your anger over your gf breaking up with you.

Rejection and breaking up is a part of life and learning. The right person for you isn't the first or second or third person, but the one who is willing to work through life with you. It is the one who wants to share all things and share her life with you while giving you respect, loyalty, passion, compassion and love. That ex of yours was not that woman. You dodged a bullet of being with someone who wasn't on the same path as you.

I like the quote attributed to Buddha....

“You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.”

Anger won't lead you to a healthy, mature loving relationship with a woman who values you, but will propel you to follow misguided, lost souls such as these PUA and MRAs who are hurt and broken.

Just do you and the right woman will appreciate that man,

Grumps

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PrettyEmily77

Stopped reading at 'rules'.

 

There are none, OP. Be your own person - that ought to be enough. That, and a positive disposition. Common sense helps, too.

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XIV. F-ck her good

 

F-ck her like it’s your last f-ck. And hers. F-ck her so good, so hard, so wantonly, so profligately that she is left a quivering, sparking mass of shaking flesh and sex fluids. Drain her of everything, then drain her some more. Kiss her all over, make love to her all night, and hold her close in the morning. Own her body, own her gratitude, own her love. If you don’t know how, learn to give her squirting orgasms.

 

1 out of 16. ;)

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Have not seen before. I definitely don't agree with the list of rules as a whole. And in one reading it comes across as very misogynitic. And some of them on their own are. I doubt the target audience is healthy well adjusted men.

 

But if you actually take them one at at a time, there are a lot more than one or two that have some value.

In fact, I'd hazard a guess that 9 or 10 of them would be given out as advice on various threads here, just using better language.

Edited by joseb
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Well someone's been stealing from Dune:

 

XVI. Never be afraid to lose her

 

You must not fear. Fear is the love-killer. Fear is the ego-triumph that brings abject loneliness. You will face your fear. You will permit it to pass over and through you. And when your ego-fear is gone you will turn and face your lover, and only your heart will remain. You will walk away from her when she has violated your integrity, and you will let her walk when her heart is closed to you. She who can destroy you, controls you. Don’t give her that power over yourself. Love yourself before you love her.

 

Dune:

 

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

:mad:

 

For what it's worth, that's a litany in the book passed down by a group of women as a way to tamp down fear and maintain physical control over their bodies and generally be badasses.

 

Much of this list is a crock. Although I like the bit about sex, that was fun. And of course you're never going to be someone's everything.

Edited by serial muse
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