Jejangles Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 Someone on the online dating thread mentioned it would be fun to have a place to discuss singles events that take place in real life! I thought I could get it started as I have some experience... I have been to two speed dating events. The first was a little awkward and strange - we are mid 30s and I think the guys for that one were meant to be from mid 30s to late 40s, but most of them seemed to be late 40s to early 50s. The most memorable moment was a creepy Brazilian guy grabbing my leg and giving it a good squeeze. I later found out he had done the same (and more) to my friend! However, I think there was one love connection from that night - we saw one man and woman leave together and head to a nearby Starbucks, so who knows how that ended up! I said no to everyone from that night, so no matches. The second speed dating event was a little younger, and the guys were more fun to talk to, but I only got a few matches and never heard from any of them... I find the whole speed dating thing a little awkward, it's not really enough time to make much of a connection. This thread is already long, but I'll share a really interesting study I read about speed dating later... I am going to my first Match.com in person event tonight! I will report back on how it goes. So - anyone else have experiences to share? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 Every time I participated to those events I ended disappointed. Don't ask me how but this one time I found myself in a group of 60 + while I was 40. Sometimes those events were full of people drinking and acting like pervs. Sometimes we were 20 women and 3 men. It just never worked for me. I did much better online where I can aim at men that are more suitable for me. Doesn't mean it won't work for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jejangles Posted January 28, 2016 Author Share Posted January 28, 2016 Every time I participated to those events I ended disappointed. Don't ask me how but this one time I found myself in a group of 60 + while I was 40. Sometimes those events were full of people drinking and acting like pervs. Sometimes we were 20 women and 3 men. It just never worked for me. I did much better online where I can aim at men that are more suitable for me. Doesn't mean it won't work for you. Yeah, I agree... I don't have high hopes for this evening, but my friend is a Match subscriber and suggested it and so I said I would go along. Worst case scenario is I have a fun girls' night! I think there's a lot of downsides to speed dating, which make it even worse than online dating: - You are limited to whoever attends the event. So if you walk in and there's not anyone who looks even vaguely interesting, you are stuck chatting and small talking anyway. - 5 minutes (or however long you have to talk) is not enough to overcome an initial bad impression. I watched a TV documentary that did a small study on speed dating. It got people to rate the attractiveness of their dates when they first saw them, then after they had talked for the five minutes. What they found is ratings either stayed the same or went down. And that totally makes sense to him. If you think a guy is unattractive or ok looking, it takes a lot of getting to know them to get over that. But a hot guy can immediately become unattractive as soon as he opens his mouth. - It's competitive. In a way, you compare everyone there. So the "hottest" or "best" people in the bunch probably get all the matches, leaving all the regular or less attractive people behind. - It's kind of boring (or can be). Most of the time you don't have a sparkly or witty back and forth, it's just small talk get to know you stuff. I'm not against speed dating, but it's not my preferred way to meet guys. I probably won't try it again. Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 not anyone who looks even vaguely interesting You mean "looks attractive" Yep, all it takes is one scan of the room before sitting down. Maybe speed dating event should blind fold everyone before they enter the door? Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 I tend to have the best luck either on OLD, meetups, or house parties. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jejangles Posted January 28, 2016 Author Share Posted January 28, 2016 You mean "looks attractive" Yep, all it takes is one scan of the room before sitting down. Maybe speed dating event should blind fold everyone before they enter the door? Yes pretty much. Attraction is in the eye of the beholder of course! But yes, if you look around and no-one really catches your eye, as I posted in the study above, it's unlikely they will change your mind in 5 minutes... I don't think blindfolds would make a difference, unless you could be blindfolded for a few weeks while you got to know the person... Link to post Share on other sites
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