Mariner Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 I've been dating a wonderful woman for 4 months. We are exclusive and things are going wonderfully. We see each other 3 times a week. We have been having unprotected sex for a month. She is on the pill. Yesterday I was told that she missed taking one of the non active sugar pills and we couldn't have sex without a condom for at least 7 days. I explained that the sugar pills are not the active pills and there would be no adverse affects by not taking one. She still insists no unprotected sex. I'm a bit put off by this. I am on the verge of just not having sex for awhile, since this is such a big deal. She did the research and understands that the missing pill is not going to affect anything but still insists on a condom. What do you think would happen if I just withheld having sex? My thoughts are that if this is such a big deal we should not even be having sex. Link to post Share on other sites
loverboy69 Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Dude: Choose your battles. Don't make a huge deal over this. Wear a condom for a week and be done with it. If you can't get hard with a condom then you'll have to settle for oral or ask her to put on the strap-on. I say this as an online anonymous friend: It's not worth causing drama and getting into a big old fight over it. You'll be fine. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mariner Posted January 27, 2016 Author Share Posted January 27, 2016 I'm thinking if she wants to be irrational then she needs to bear the consequences as well, which means no sex for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Limitless159 Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 It sounds like she has some other reason for wanting you too wear a condom? I would probably tell her we will wait too have sex just too see her reaction lol Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 I'm thinking if she wants to be irrational then she needs to bear the consequences as well, which means no sex for her. Irrational? She can be as irrational as she wishes cause She's the one with the uterus. Wear the darn condom. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mariner Posted January 27, 2016 Author Share Posted January 27, 2016 Yes irrational. Missing a sugar pill doesn't impact the effectiveness of the birth control pill. The idea that it does is irrational. I told her that maybe we should wait the 7 days before having sex. She didn't like that idea. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Yes irrational. Missing a sugar pill doesn't impact the effectiveness of the birth control pill. The idea that it does is irrational. I told her that maybe we should wait the 7 days before having sex. She didn't like that idea. You don't have much respect and consideration for this woman. I don't care how irrational you find this, putting a condom on for a few days to please her is no efforts in your part. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlett.O'hara Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 You are probably right that you shouldn't be having sex if this is such a big deal. She has the right to ask you to wear a condom for any reason, likewise you have the right to refuse to have sex for any reason. I hope that an otherwise wonderful relationship isn't ruined because of this difference of opinion. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Jay87 Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Mate, I don't like girl who cannot think logically or show common sense. If she's silly enough to still ask you to wear a condom even though she fully understands that that missing the sugar pill does not have any effect, imagine the head ache you will have in the future over more important issues that requires intelligent thought. That said, enjoy what you have. Pick your battles and enjoy your time with her. All the Best, Jay Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 This isn't something you fight over...you ask her about making sure she takes her pills. The reason yo take the placebo in the last week is you stay with the habit of taking the pill every day...if you skip pills then forget yo start the new month by a few days you are screwed. Are you dyer these were in fact placebos snd not the regular pills? Be safe wear a venom and font say she is an idiot..you will never win. A better approach is when it's time for her doctor remind her to adk the doctor the question of "what do I do if I skip a placebo pill?" Link to post Share on other sites
Robratory Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Yes irrational. Missing a sugar pill doesn't impact the effectiveness of the birth control pill. The idea that it does is irrational. I told her that maybe we should wait the 7 days before having sex. She didn't like that idea. But she can't explain why suddenly she wants you to wear a condom? The issue I see isn't that she wants you to wear a condom. It's that she's acting irrationally. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 A fair portion of our population is due to having "Opps. How did that happen?!" babies. It's all good -this is how we propagate our species. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 I'm thinking if she wants to be irrational then she needs to bear the consequences as well, which means no sex for her. Wanting to be absolutely sure she doesn't end up pregnant by a man she has only been dating 4 months is considered irrational? When you have to fork out 18 years of maintenance payments for an unplanned child that is when it becomes irrational. Suit up and get on with it. You have a girl who is sensible and not trying to trap you or cause you harm. Lucky devil that you are. If you don't like it how about chucking her back out there for one of the many guys who would appreciate a girl who is honest, sensible and caring. Who also wants to take care of their own and your sexual health. Seriously if you guys were standing in front of me right now I would shake you and tell you if you to grow the f up. If you are young enough to winge about a condom you are too young to be having sex. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
DrReplyInRhymes Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 The irrational part is that she's asking this out of the blue, Has nothing to do with getting pregnant, for they were condomless before too, Go ahead with your plan, don't have sex for 7 days, However, wear a jimmy hat should you find you can't wait. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Since when a woman owes you to have unprotected sex with you because she agreed to it before?!! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 If she doesn`t understand how birth control works, are you sure you ever want to go back to having intercourse without a condom with her? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 If she doesn`t understand how birth control works, are you sure you ever want to go back to having intercourse without a condom with her? It's not that she doesn't understand how pills works. It makes her feel insecure! It's a huge worry for her and OP should respect her wish EVEN if it's not justified! You know if I forget my eggs on my kitchen counter I throw them away and it's completely irrational because eggs could be left on your kitchen counter for a month without worry! I STILL do it! even if I know it's unjustified to do so because it makes me feel better to throw them away! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loverboy69 Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 I'm thinking if she wants to be irrational then she needs to bear the consequences as well, which means no sex for her. I get the frustration on your side. I understand where you are coming from. But listen to yourself. You are sounding like you are her father and are punishing her. You are her partner not her disciplinarian. I would be telling her the same thing if she was doing this to you. You did ask for some perspective. Please take our words to heart. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mariner Posted January 27, 2016 Author Share Posted January 27, 2016 We talked about this. She agreed it wasn't reasonable but it's just what she wants for 7 days. I'm okay with it after thinking about it more. But it doesn't mean I understand. She did say that I was getting the bad end of the deal, because the pleasure is good for her regardless. I respect what she wants. But I have a hard time understanding when it is for reasons that don't even exist. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Bro, you're still having sex...get over it and wear the condom. You shouldn't even be upset. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 I respect what she wants. But I have a hard time understanding when it is for reasons that don't even exist. You sound like a 12 yo we took his phone away. If you want a successful relationship you have to understand women better because there will be many other reasons that don't exist. We call that the small stuff. Don't sweat the small stuff! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mariner Posted January 27, 2016 Author Share Posted January 27, 2016 I understand women. I'm in my mid thirties and had a successful marriage for 15 years. I tend to struggle with reasoning not based on facts, it's a guy thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 I understand women. I'm in my mid thirties and had a successful marriage for 15 years. I tend to struggle with reasoning not based on facts, it's a guy thing. Well its not a woman thing... Get over it. Suit up. Link to post Share on other sites
Tribble Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 This makes me feel faintly ill hearing the attitudes about this. The pill is not 100% effective. Sex, regardless of all measures is a risk. She's weighed up the risk and decided non-protected, oral contraceptive sex is an acceptable risk. Fine, been there, A-Okay. But then something goes a little bit wrong. You forget to take one pill. You worry a bit. So you decide to take a little extra care. After all, who wants a little rugrat around because of one missed pill? And your partner goes off on one. How dare you ask he wear a condom for 7 days?! She's not asking forever, it's 7 days. It might be irrational to you, but it's alleviating a bit of worry for her. Imagine having sex with someone paranoid about getting pregnant. It would suck. You still have to get sex. It might not be as perfect as you'd like but you get sex. If you carry on like this, you wont be getting it for long. You don't get it. The risk isn't the same for men and women. But trust me, you want to do everything to avoid the risk. Some women are more careful than others. Be grateful you have a careful one and aren't likely to have an oopsy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 It's not that she doesn't understand how pills works. It makes her feel insecure! It's a huge worry for her and OP should respect her wish EVEN if it's not justified! You know if I forget my eggs on my kitchen counter I throw them away and it's completely irrational because eggs could be left on your kitchen counter for a month without worry! I STILL do it! even if I know it's unjustified to do so because it makes me feel better to throw them away! I know it's just an example, but that egg thing is totally rational: "After an egg is refrigerated, it must be kept at that temperature. "A cold egg left out at room temperature can sweat, facilitating the growth of bacteria that could contaminate the egg," according to the United Egg Producers association. "Refrigerated eggs should not be left out more than two hours." Meanwhile the idea of thinking your birth control won't work because you missed a pill that you KNOW is a sugar pill is totally irrational. If she had decided she can't trust herself to remember her birth control and wanted to use condoms permanently I could see it. But this doesn't make any sense. Link to post Share on other sites
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