Sunyata Posted January 9, 2016 Share Posted January 9, 2016 (edited) Okay. So awhile back I met a girl at a friend's birthday party. I liked her. I'm in my own weird stage of personal growth and "finding myself" after an extremely traumatic childhood which also resulted in me surrounding myself with abusive people. I've completely rebooted my life in many respects. I'm really clueless with this asking girls out ****. But I liked the conversation the two of us had, felt she was recovering similarly from her past. I sent her a facebook message two days later asking her out for coffee and she sent me a friend request and said it was great meeting me as well. So, for the next week I was pretty slow and clueless, always trying to come up with things to talk about but never saying anything. I eventually messaged her about an incident with her car, we talked for a bit. It went silent again. She does not act interested in me at all and has never once asked me a question about myself. She never initiated conversation, but if I ask her a question her responses are not short. So anyway, like a day or two after the car talk I sent her another message again asking her to coffee. She replied about 24 hours later saying to ask her after the new year and that yeah, we should get together. I sent her a message two days ago. Again she took around 24 hours to reply and said this: So sorry, didn't mean to be douchey and ignore you or anything. I got your message while I was on my way to dinner and promptly forgot! Maybe Sunday? About 24 hours after that (like 4 hours ago), I sent her a message saying Sunday would work. She replied about 3 hours after that saying Sunday wouldn't work because of [long explanation] but that she was going to a little concert type thing tomorrow night and I can join if I want. Should I go? Should I bother with this? It seems to me LONG ago that I'm being pretty awkward, and that she doesn't have the confidence in herself to just let me down. The people I talk to tell me good things like they think she wants to see me, but I don't get that feeling at all. I also joined an online local branch of a "social dynamics" type pick up group which has aspects that I think may be helpful. A guy invited me out tonight but it didn't end up working out, and I feel like I just give jittery and uncertain messages and most people just need you to be yourself. So I'm throwing myself into things knowing my anxiety and inexperience are going to make it feel weird. Should I go just because I was invited? Because it's SOMETHING, even if I don't expect to get a friendship or relationship out of it, at least its undergoing experience? Or should I not go, and save her from the undesired results of her own social ineptitude? Any advice is GREATLY appreciated. About this particular issue or the issue in general. Edited January 9, 2016 by Sunyata Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted January 9, 2016 Share Posted January 9, 2016 It's your call...you could try and meet up with her but she likely will be with friends so she may ignore you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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