dodge86 Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 My gf (26) and I (28) have been dating for 3 years and have had an open relationship for about 1 year. We decided to try it out, as our love life was lacking at the time. Our idea was not to tell one another details but be open about your plans. During this open relationship I have made out with a couple of girls, but she's has definitely seen more guys. In fact she recently broke it off with a guy she became very close with who she started seeing all the time. At one point, she would get home from work on friday and say "im going to see (blank), bye". Once, I said it was getting out of hand, and she said 'well this is the way it is and if you dont like it, maybe we should break up". She would apologize after, but I felt that it bordered on emotional abuse. Although, she hasn't spoke to him for a long time and isnt seeing him anymore, so they mustve had a falling out of some kind. So about 2 months ago we recently moved into a new place together, and I asked her if we could close the relationship and wanted to talk. I also tried being more affectionate with her but she was pretty resistant and cold. We had a conversation shortly after where she told me that she doesnt feel sexual towards me but she does love me and sees a future with me. She also told me that sex with the other guy was a lot better. At this point I assumed she was sleeping with him, but I dont understand why she told me this. Anyway I was upset to say the least. Fast forward to a week ago, we were arguing, and she tells me that she just needs to have an open relationship with me and can't be in a closed one. So I kinda conceded bc I thought it worked in the past and maybe we can continue with the open relationship She's now been seeing this new guy and even went on a date with him last night, and got home early this morning. (so i assume she slept over) I don't know what to do, I love her and she says she loves me too Link to post Share on other sites
Alamo657 Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 My gf (26) and I (28) have been dating for 3 years and have had an open relationship for about 1 year. We decided to try it out, as our love life was lacking at the time. Our idea was not to tell one another details but be open about your plans. During this open relationship I have made out with a couple of girls, but she's has definitely seen more guys. In fact she recently broke it off with a guy she became very close with who she started seeing all the time. At one point, she would get home from work on friday and say "im going to see (blank), bye". Once, I said it was getting out of hand, and she said 'well this is the way it is and if you dont like it, maybe we should break up". She would apologize after, but I felt that it bordered on emotional abuse. Although, she hasn't spoke to him for a long time and isnt seeing him anymore, so they mustve had a falling out of some kind. So about 2 months ago we recently moved into a new place together, and I asked her if we could close the relationship and wanted to talk. I also tried being more affectionate with her but she was pretty resistant and cold. We had a conversation shortly after where she told me that she doesnt feel sexual towards me but she does love me and sees a future with me. She also told me that sex with the other guy was a lot better. At this point I assumed she was sleeping with him, but I dont understand why she told me this. Anyway I was upset to say the least. Fast forward to a week ago, we were arguing, and she tells me that she just needs to have an open relationship with me and can't be in a closed one. So I kinda conceded bc I thought it worked in the past and maybe we can continue with the open relationship She's now been seeing this new guy and even went on a date with him last night, and got home early this morning. (so i assume she slept over) I don't know what to do, I love her and she says she loves me too In case that wasn't very clear to you, you're o longer her boyfriend in an open relationship. You're one of her multiple sexual options. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 This is not a good arrangement for you. You want different things. I think in her case open relationship is code for: until someone better comes along. Consciously or unconsciously, she is playing you. Get out. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
xcupid Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 Sounds like a FWB arrangement with her than a relationship to me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 Sounds like a FWB arrangement with her than a relationship to me. Except I bet it cost him $$$. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 She does not love you, she loves the security you represent. Open relationship or not, when you and her stop being intimate, when there is no more connection, care, respect, consideration then the relationship is over. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 Except I bet it cost him $$$. $ is the B of FWB Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 $ is the B of FWB I wouldn't pay **** to a **** buddy. Either it's mutual that she wants sex because she wants sex with me or she doesn't. If she hints at $$$, she can go walk the streets and find some dumbass to fund her prostitute ass. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 I wouldn't pay **** to a **** buddy. Either it's mutual that she wants sex because she wants sex with me or she doesn't. If she hints at $$$, she can go walk the streets and find some dumbass to fund her prostitute ass. You and I don't understand each other. You said they are just FWB. Well they are not even that because they are not having sex anymore so she stays with him for the benefits alright, but the benefits aren't sex, it's him providing a roof over her head Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 (edited) You and I don't understand each other. You said they are just FWB. Well they are not even that because they are not having sex anymore so she stays with him for the benefits alright, but the benefits aren't sex, it's him providing a roof over her head No. Someone else said it was a FWB. Edited January 8, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 It sounds like a very unhealthy situation to be honest. Also, you're pretty much just a "friend" at this point. I mean she's openly said she no longer likes having sex with you, and loves you in that "future providing" way. So she essentially wants to have you provide for her, while she has sex w/other men. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
AustralianGuy Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 I think you have done incredibly well to still be with her my friend. Having a girl who wants her own space in an open relationship is one thing, but if she is basically only living with you as a room mate, and you really aren't being intimate, then I think it is time to say goodbye to her as she is clearly seeking her needs elsewhere. I know it's hard but you need to look after your own well being first and foremost Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 OP, what do you think you are getting from this "relationship"? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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