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He lied | His female friend | I feel like an Idiot


Kittenpaws

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A little while back my boyfriend use to be really close to a girl who he would spend countless hours with. He would go to her job late at night and they would talk and talk. ( she's a little rough around the edges... She worked at fast food place so he would swing by after he was finished work or in the area. I asked him before why he never dated her, he said she's not his type...) He would give her advice, she would confid in him and it began to feel like they're a little too close platonic friendships. She would always ask him "where are you, are you coming to see me, I really need to talk to you". Considering I'm his serious girlfriend I found this really weird and I was really confused and upset by it.

I should add that he did all this for a little before he met me but I just feel like some behaviour should change when you're in a relationship.

 

I told him this makes me uncomfortable and that it looks really odd you being with her so late at night. I think platonic friendships can be possible but I felt the line was being pushed.

He couldn't understand why I was upset and was actually kind of defensive. He said he wasn't going there as much or maybe he just started lying to me :(

 

We went on a little trip. On the trip he let me see the photos we took on his phone. So curiosity got the best of me and I checked his texts from that girl. He basically told her " I can't come see you anymore it makes her uncomfortable ::)

:( (:sick: when I saw that I felt like an idiot because I looked but mostly because I couldn't believe he told her that.

I fell as if that was something between us... Not something to share with her. Before I saw this text she added me on every social media account she saw I had. I don't think it was her trying to reach out and be fiends because the 2 times I met her she never said more than Hi to me and only talked to him.

 

Later on I asked him if he ever told her why he stopped going there... He lied to me and said no he didn't that he said "he just stopped going because he realized that's not typically something someone does in a relationship"

 

He's a liar and I'm still bothered by this

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You're bothered that he did the right thing and told the girl he can't hang out with her anymore? Jeez. You went through his phone and snooped and didn't find anything besides him telling her that he's not gonna hang out anymore because his gf is uncomfortable with it and he doesn't wanna jeaprodize that.

 

Meanwhile, this girl could've genuinely been a friend who he has known for much longer than you and him have been dating, and because you got jealous, you forced him to end a friendship completely. If you were a good gf you would've taken the time to actually get to know and talk to her those few times you saw her. Maybe after 5 minutes of talking you would find out that she really is not into him at all and they've just been routinely hanging out for a long time so nothing for them to feel guilty about still doing.

 

If you found graphic pics or texts between them about being together then you can be upset.

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You are right and what you feel is right.

 

He lied and that is a big thing. If it were nothing he would not have the need to lie about it.

 

About his friend: she should have made more effort with you other than to say hi and proceed to talk to him like you are not even around. Expecting what? That you will interrupt and interfere into their conversation about which you have no idea anyway.

When my male friends start a relationship I make sure their gf is comfortable in our company and I try to become her friend as well. This is because she is the one brought to the company and we should try to accommodate her, rather than ignore her and see if she starts pushing to be noticed. That is f up and not nice.

 

I would have ONE serious talk with him as he broke the intimate bond between the two of you and told your feelings to his friend. He could have stopped the intensive friendship while at the same time protecting your personal discussions. He told her how you felt without your consent and then lied about it. Make a big deal about it and give him just one chance - but people like that do not change in my experience. He will always be weak if he cannot look his girl in the eyes and tell her, yes I told her so and so... But he lied, because he is weak and because he knew that it was not nicest thing to do to you so he is sneaky too. Little things will tell you a lot about someone. He could have done the same thing without exposing you that way.

 

Just one more chance, trust me, and be very careful not to fall any further for him before he proves himself as trustworthy. I would put my money on the opposite, unfortunately.

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I too am with you! Your feelings are also right. He is wrong. He shouldn't have said that to his friend. It's between you 2. Now , there are 3 in the relationship! She will manipulate this information to her advantage.

 

Speak to him, own up you saw the message. He needs to answer to you.

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He realised that it's not something he should do in a relationship because it makes his girlfriend uncomfortable and thus decided to inform his friend about that. How on earth is that "lying"? The only mistake he seems to have made is prioritising an emotionally immature girlfriend over a seemingly close friend.

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Where to start:

 

A little while back my boyfriend use to be really close to a girl who he would spend countless hours with. He would go to her job late at night and they would talk and talk. ( she's a little rough around the edges... She worked at fast food place so he would swing by after he was finished work or in the area. I asked him before why he never dated her, he said she's not his type...) He would give her advice, she would confid in him and it began to feel like they're a little too close platonic friendships. She would always ask him "where are you, are you coming to see me, I really need to talk to you". Considering I'm his serious girlfriend I found this really weird and I was really confused and upset by it.

I should add that he did all this for a little before he met me but I just feel like some behavior should change when you're in a relationship.

 

I told him this makes me uncomfortable and that it looks really odd you being with her so late at night. I think platonic friendships can be possible but I felt the line was being pushed.

 

This was a friendship that started way before you. If they had the intention of jumping each other it would have happened already. What did you fear? He went to see her at work, not at her place. You feared he would cheat with her between 2 cash registers?

 

We went on a little trip. On the trip he let me see the photos we took on his phone. So curiosity got the best of me and I checked his texts from that girl. He basically told her " I can't come see you anymore it makes her uncomfortable ::)

:( (:sick: when I saw that I felt like an idiot because I looked but mostly because I couldn't believe he told her that.

 

Even though this person had become a good friend of his he went along and stopped it for the sake of you. You're still not happy? Now you need to criticize how he's done it. She is a friend, of course he will tell her why he can't hang out with her anymore. Wouldn't you expect a sincere explanation from a friend before they block you out of their life? There was nothing wrong in him telling her why.

 

I fell as if that was something between us... Not something to share with her.

 

Then you should have told him. You knew they were confident. They were not acquaintances. Of course he told her why.

 

Before I saw this text she added me on every social media account she saw I had. I don't think it was her trying to reach out and be fiends because the 2 times I met her she never said more than Hi to me and only talked to him.
Where is your effort? You said yourself she is rough around the edge. Maybe socializing doesn't come naturally to her.

 

Later on I asked him if he ever told her why he stopped going there... He lied to me and said no he didn't that he said "he just stopped going because he realized that's not typically something someone does in a relationship"

 

He's a liar and I'm still bothered by this

 

He got hit on the head for having a female friend.

You imposed on him to drop the friend.

He knew he was about to be hit on the head again for telling the truth to this girl.

 

Don't you think it was embarrassing to him to have to do that, then have to report to you the words he used to end their friendship?

 

 

A word of advice: Stop trying to make your boyfriend your 'best friend'. It's important and healthy for people to have friendship outside of a romantic relationship. Let your partner have his own life with his own friends. Trust them, trust they know how to handle themselves while in a relationship.

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You are right and what you feel is right.

 

He lied and that is a big thing. If it were nothing he would not have the need to lie about it.

 

He lied because OP has her bf's balls between her teeth. He wanted to avoid another speech, another reprehending.

 

About his friend: she should have made more effort with you other than to say hi and proceed to talk to him like you are not even around. Expecting what? That you will interrupt and interfere into their conversation about which you have no idea anyway.

 

OP made no efforts to start a conversation with this woman. And the way OP felt jealous about her I doubt OP's demeanor was oozing 'wanna be my friend'.

 

When my male friends start a relationship I make sure their gf is comfortable in our company and I try to become her friend as well. This is because she is the one brought to the company and we should try to accommodate her, rather than ignore her and see if she starts pushing to be noticed. That is f up and not nice.

 

Have you tried to become friends with a woman that wants to eat you alive? Who's already made her opinion of you?

 

I do. I have a long time friend who's new girlfriend could not accept me. No amount of smiling and small talk on my part broke her walls. To her I was the enemy.

 

I would have ONE serious talk with him as he broke the intimate bond between the two of you and told your feelings to his friend.

 

He did not break anything. He did everything his girlfriend wanted and now she's complaining on how he's done it. He told his friend why he had to break the friendship, wouldn't expect this courtesy from one of your friend?

 

He also did not b*tch about his girl at all. He simply said she was uncomfortable. There was nothing disrespectful in his choice of words. I know men who would have said: My girlfriend is jealous and possessive. He did not even go there, he simply said she was uncomfortable.

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So curiosity got the best of me and I checked his texts from that girl. He basically told her " I can't come see you anymore it makes her uncomfortable ::)

:( (:sick: when I saw that I felt like an idiot because I looked but mostly because I couldn't believe he told her that.

 

 

You can't believe he told her what? - the truth! What do you care at this point, he told her the truth and now she's gone. Good riddance!

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Versacehottie
You can't believe he told her what? - the truth!

 

^^^^ this^^^^ He definitely didn't handle it perfectly elegantly but he did not lie to her. He HANDLED it!!! He did a little white lie to you to STOP the drama. Not really an excuse but you are even, if you ask me, since you snooped to find that information. Cut the guy a break.

 

About the girl she probably has a serious crush on him or even if they truly are just friends, it can be uncomfortable when you meet a guy's friend's gf who you suspect won't want you around (which is exactly what happened). I agree with you he was pushing the boundaries of what someone should be doing in a serious relationship. But he did honor the boundaries, handled it and wants the drama to stop. For the sake of your relationship do that. He picked you.

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introverted1

OP, what else do you want from the guy? You asked him to seriously curtail a friendship that pre-dated his R with you and he did. Now you're not happy because he was honest with his friend about why. Was he supposed to lie to her? And say what, exactly?

 

You sound very young and not just a little spoilt.

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You have massive insecurity issues.

 

 

 

 

He cares so much about you that he tells her he cant see her anymore because it makes you uncomfortable. AND Why shouldn't she know the truth? She was his friend...should she just think he all of a sudden hates her?

Then you didn't trust him and looked through his messages to see that he told her the truth...and you are somehow upset. Like he should have just never spoke to his friend again, or just said "I cant come see you anymore because of reasons undisclosed." Should he have lied to her to make you seem like less of a control freak?

 

 

If he lied to you about what he said it's because he knows you are insecure and nothing he says will appease you.

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He's a liar and I'm still bothered by this

 

He's a liar, and you're deceitful for sneaking on his phone and then setting him up in a trap.

 

Anyways, you wanted him to stop seeing her. He put you first, and told the truth to his friend about why he wasn't allowed to be her friend anymore. He did what you wanted and you should be mature enough to accept responsibility for ending their friendship.

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Versacehottie
You have massive insecurity issues.

 

Should he have lied to her to make you seem like less of a control freak?

 

 

If he lied to you about what he said it's because he knows you are insecure and nothing he says will appease you.

 

Yep 100!

 

and bolded is exactly why he white lied to you, to stop the madness. You have a good boyfriend. Just flow with it.

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He lied because OP has her bf's balls between her teeth. He wanted to avoid another speech, another reprehending.

 

 

 

OP made no efforts to start a conversation with this woman. And the way OP felt jealous about her I doubt OP's demeanor was oozing 'wanna be my friend'.

 

 

 

Have you tried to become friends with a woman that wants to eat you alive? Who's already made her opinion of you?

 

I do. I have a long time friend who's new girlfriend could not accept me. No amount of smiling and small talk on my part broke her walls. To her I was the enemy.

 

 

 

He did not break anything. He did everything his girlfriend wanted and now she's complaining on how he's done it. He told his friend why he had to break the friendship, wouldn't expect this courtesy from one of your friend?

 

He also did not b*tch about his girl at all. He simply said she was uncomfortable. There was nothing disrespectful in his choice of words. I know men who would have said: My girlfriend is jealous and possessive. He did not even go there, he simply said she was uncomfortable.

 

I am surprised at you Gaeta to be this blind to some things just because of your own experience. I am even more surprised at the amount of the 'facts' you created to make your own point. Guessing is one thing, this is a way beyond that. I have been in OP's shoes and know how a female friend can become a burden for the relationship because she will want to be the most important woman in someone else's partner's life, and will deliberately make her point when she is in the same place... she will talk only the subjects that you cannot possibly join, she will not look at you but will only talk to your partner, she will ignore you and not say hi, and no amount of you trying to become a part of the group or conversation will do... I know how what OP is feeling feels. You apparently had a bad experience where gf was a bit*h and you are now projecting that and inventing stuff that never happened in OP's case. How do you know that OP made up her mind prior to anything? She specifically said that it is ok to have female friends but that her boundaries have been crossed. I concur with her boundaries and they are not out of the line. They are hers to have.

 

Besides, isn't it right to say that everyone feels differently about some things? If OP feels hurt or annoyed at the disrespect, she is right to feel so. Who is anyone here to tell her differently?

 

How would you like it if you started dating and falling for someone who will rush to some woman friend to take care of her needs, to tell her about your relationship, and a woman who will ignore you altogether while trying to make herself the main woman in your guy's life (even if just as a friend)? Even if this were his sister so that you cannot pull the jealousy card, it would still be a bit out of line. So what if she was there before, does that give her a right to act like you do not exist?

 

Screw friends that will make your relationship worse. Those are selfish people that do not know how to take a step back and realise that their friend's life changed because a whole new person walked into it with her own needs and wants.

 

Seriously, this is one of the most biased, and way-off answers you ever had. You just based it on something you experienced, some cheap meaningless phrases like "friends were there before"... Who gives a crap who was there before, it is not like concurring a territory in some game..,"I put my flag here first so we my relationship with him is more important"...Utter BS. Looking at form over substance is always BS.

 

Friends can often ruin relationships. That is a fact and experience many people here have had. They are often people that you, at the end of the day, do not know deep inside and what they really think and feel. There are very very few true friends in someone's lifetime, and if this is his true real friend, a woman that wants what is best for him in his life, she would do the honorable thing and take the back seat, size it down, make space for someone else and be happy for him.

 

You are forgetting the fact that friends can be as jealous as partners at the loss of full and undivided attention and act like true entitled narcissists. If anyone deserves that label (jealous) it is not the OP in this situation.

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Yep 100!

 

and bolded is exactly why he white lied to you, to stop the madness. You have a good boyfriend. Just flow with it.

 

Wow, I love the way that he is being diagnosed as good boyfriend while you know exactly nothing about the guy.

 

He lied to her because he is a pussy enough to do it and has no character or experience enough to know that lying is kind of not that nice or smart thing to do. If he is a people pleaser, OP should run, now, because she will never know what is really in his head and heart.

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I guess that the women here are all ' those female friends ' , claiming right on the ' guy friend ' more than the girlfriend should ever have. That's the only reason they are attacking OP. They mostly lack a bf of their own.

 

Just going at the titles of the ' cheating ' forum , most are cases from ' friends' disasters

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I am surprised at you Gaeta to be this blind to some things just because of your own experience. I am even more surprised at the amount of the 'facts' you created to make your own point. Guessing is one thing, this is a way beyond that. I have been in OP's shoes and know how a female friend can become a burden for the relationship because she will want to be the most important woman in someone else's partner's life, and will deliberately make her point when she is in the same place... she will talk only the subjects that you cannot possibly join, she will not look at you but will only talk to your partner, she will ignore you and not say hi, and no amount of you trying to become a part of the group or conversation will do... I know how what OP is feeling feels. You apparently had a bad experience where gf was a bit*h and you are now projecting that and inventing stuff that never happened in OP's case. How do you know that OP made up her mind prior to anything? She specifically said that it is ok to have female friends but that her boundaries have been crossed. I concur with her boundaries and they are not out of the line. They are hers to have.

 

Ok I admit my answer is influenced by my own experience but your initial post in this thread was also influenced by your experience as well. We both experienced something negative but from a different side of the fence.

 

Lets agree The answer is somewhere in the middle.

 

How would you like it if you started dating and falling for someone who will rush to some woman friend to take care of her needs, to tell her about your relationship

I have not read anywhere that OP's boyfriend was discussing their relationship matter with her. And if he was discussing their private matters who says it was in a negative way?

 

I am seeing someone at this time. I spoke to 2 friends today about my relationship. I told them how happy I am I gave this new man a chance. How sweet and generous and smart he is etc.

 

My male friend told me about his relationship today. GF's dad dies. She is having a terrible time and he was sharing with me how he wished he could support her more and better.

 

What's wrong in this? Friends share about their lives otherwise it would not be called a 'friendship'.

 

Now, if OP's boyfriend was b*tching about her to his female friend that would be another story and another thread.

 

and a woman who will ignore you altogether while trying to make herself the main woman in your guy's life (even if just as a friend)? Even if this were his sister so that you cannot pull the jealousy card, it would still be a bit out of line. So what if she was there before, does that give her a right to act like you do not exist?
I did not get the impression this friend was ignoring OP. I think I am reading a bit of your personal story in this. OP said the friend did not make efforts to chit chat. OP could have started a conversation as well.

 

Seriously, this is one of the most biased, and way-off answers you ever had. You just based it on something you experienced, some cheap meaningless phrases like "friends were there before"... Who gives a crap who was there before, it is not like concurring a territory in some game..,"I put my flag here first so we my relationship with him is more important"...Utter BS. Looking at form over substance is always BS.
I am open to toning down a friendship for the sake of a relationship but I would never end a long term friendship, that was meaning full to me, for the sake of a 'boyfriend'. When I start a new relationship I tell them I have male friends if it's a problem we are not compatible. I know how to conduct myself while in a relationship.

 

OP's boyfriend visited his friend at her work for goodness sake! how platonic is that!

 

 

You are forgetting the fact that friends can be as jealous as partners at the loss of full and undivided attention and act like true entitled narcissists. If anyone deserves that label (jealous) it is not the OP in this situation.
This is also coming from your negative personal experience. That can apply to girlfriends as well.

 

Here is my experience:

 

Actually a couple of months ago a male friend of mine had to break up with his new girlfriend because she could not accept me. That friend and I have been friends for years, we grab lunch once a month! We call on Mondays to catch up. I am the last person she needs to worry about. Nothing has ever ever happened between him and I.

 

Of course him and I have connection. Our friendship is OLD. Then new girlfriend comes in and is jealous of that bond thinking 'well you don't have a bond like that with ME'. So dump her!

 

Like c'mon!

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He didn't lie. He told her why and why was because you were uncomfortable with it. You hoped he'd just reject her on his own merits and so she would go away forever, but he's actually being honest. He likes her but not enough to make you feel bad. That's about as good as it gets. And you have to know they will occasionally run into each other and also that he does not control her -- and get her off your social media so she can't see what's going on.

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Stop picking at it making it into a sore. There is no denying that he likes this girl, that is what is getting your panties in a knot. You wanted him to drop his emotional affection for her completely for you, because you feel he can't feel anything for anyone else ever when he is with you. Sorry to break the news to ya hun, you can't control, or expect someone to shut off their emotions from everyone else. Whatever goes on in his head is his own business, not yours. Him and the majority of horny men will be sexually attracted to other girls (which he will be) other than their partner. You can't control that. You cannot control his free will to like whomever he wants.

 

Yes I get you want boundaries which if fair, and it is up to him to realize that, that's fine, nothing wrong with that. Just because he doesn't like to cut her off, should not be a reflection of how invested he is in you. Get over it. get over the fact that there will be others that he will have a place in his heart.

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Ok I admit my answer is influenced by my own experience but your initial post in this thread was also influenced by your experience as well. We both experienced something negative but from a different side of the fence.

 

Lets agree The answer is somewhere in the middle.

 

I have not read anywhere that OP's boyfriend was discussing their relationship matter with her. And if he was discussing their private matters who says it was in a negative way?

 

I am seeing someone at this time. I spoke to 2 friends today about my relationship. I told them how happy I am I gave this new man a chance. How sweet and generous and smart he is etc.

 

My male friend told me about his relationship today. GF's dad dies. She is having a terrible time and he was sharing with me how he wished he could support her more and better.

 

What's wrong in this? Friends share about their lives otherwise it would not be called a 'friendship'.

 

Now, if OP's boyfriend was b*tching about her to his female friend that would be another story and another thread.

 

I did not get the impression this friend was ignoring OP. I think I am reading a bit of your personal story in this. OP said the friend did not make efforts to chit chat. OP could have started a conversation as well.

 

I am open to toning down a friendship for the sake of a relationship but I would never end a long term friendship, that was meaning full to me, for the sake of a 'boyfriend'. When I start a new relationship I tell them I have male friends if it's a problem we are not compatible. I know how to conduct myself while in a relationship.

 

OP's boyfriend visited his friend at her work for goodness sake! how platonic is that!

 

 

This is also coming from your negative personal experience. That can apply to girlfriends as well.

 

Here is my experience:

 

Actually a couple of months ago a male friend of mine had to break up with his new girlfriend because she could not accept me. That friend and I have been friends for years, we grab lunch once a month! We call on Mondays to catch up. I am the last person she needs to worry about. Nothing has ever ever happened between him and I.

 

Of course him and I have connection. Our friendship is OLD. Then new girlfriend comes in and is jealous of that bond thinking 'well you don't have a bond like that with ME'. So dump her!

 

Like c'mon!

 

Actually I have been at the both side of the fence. Once, for no reason at all, my friend's gf told me something nasty and continued treating me like crap. This is a guy that is 6 years younger and we have no romantic interest in each other. We were friends because we were the only two people to speak our language in that country we lived in for a while. I treated her really well, never called until they call me, always invited her everywhere and tried to make her feel good like a part of the company. But I learned later that she is just jealous of every female. I do not see OP being this girl as she specifically said friends are ok but with boundaries.

 

I have also been on the side of starting a relationship and from day one to our first year anniversary she was trying hard to be the dominant person in his life, she ignored me (OP said she gets only hi from this girl who then proceeds to talk to her bf only), she would show up the moment I would arrive from another continent, even when I moved to be with my bf, etc... She was a narcissistic person who manipulated him by giving him all the compliments (that she gives to five other people a day) and telling him all about her life including how she is cheating on her husband. She would give him lover like hugs that lasted for two minutes of full body contact and kissing his neck while whispering into his ear just how much she loves him. I tried hard to be friends with her, but I shouldn't have. I should have told her to f off from the day one, I should have voiced my feelings to him, and told him to keep her at a distance. I did not care they were friends for years before I arrived into his life. She turned out to be the constant source of problems in our relationship, she would show up in our house and start discussing how one of their hot female friends made naked video and kept asking him what does he think about it, and so on... She was OBVIOUSLY a trouble. He should have known and seen things before it was too late. Now he is sorry and cut her out of his life, saw her for what she is, but it is too late. Many people are not that obvious, unfortunately, but are more sneaky and will tell nice things to create wrong impression.

 

So I know both sides of the issue. I can see where OP belongs on that spectrum.

 

When OP told her BF about her comfort level around his friend, she basically opened up to him and told him something personal and intimate. He should not have passed this on to anyone. I do not see how you can compare this with you talking to your friends about how great your date is and what a good person he is.

 

 

OP, the only way you can know what is in people's head is to rely on your intuition and do not ignore the signs. Talk to him, tell him to never again share any of your private feelings with others. And tell him to never lie to you again. If he does, he will likely continue doing that for the rest of your relationship. People do not change.

 

Guys who come here to tell you how he is lying because you are this dramatic person, are the same ball-less guys who did not have guts to tell their gf truth and were lying to people in their life. It is like blaming you for the wrong your bf did. Weak and lame. Just like there is no justification for cheating, there is no justification for lying. Both hurt, both ruin trust, both are indicators of bad character, and both can bring relationship to an end. Lying is the tool of the weak and selfish people to control and manipulate situations and cover their ass.

 

Mature and grown up men, a rare kind, will not be afraid of their gf and if she is really that insane to overreact to little things, then he should pick up and leave rather than resort to life of untruths and deceit. What does it tell about him?

 

Give him one chance, but just one. Two times is already likely a character, not a mistake.

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Wow, I love the way that he is being diagnosed as good boyfriend while you know exactly nothing about the guy.

 

He lied to her because he is a pussy enough to do it and has no character or experience enough to know that lying is kind of not that nice or smart thing to do. If he is a people pleaser, OP should run, now, because she will never know what is really in his head and heart.

 

You know nothing about the guy either.

What I can tell from the post that the guy followed the wishes of his girlfriend and STILL got reprimanded for it.

Check out the motivations behind his "lie". It's not because he did anything "wrong" it's because he didn't want to piss her off again.

I hope the girlfriend does "run now" because the guy deserves better then this surely.

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You know nothing about the guy either.

What I can tell from the post that the guy followed the wishes of his girlfriend and STILL got reprimanded for it.

Check out the motivations behind his "lie". It's not because he did anything "wrong" it's because he didn't want to piss her off again.

I hope the girlfriend does "run now" because the guy deserves better then this surely.

 

According to you, it is ok to lie if you don't want to piss someone off? Definition of telling the truth includes telling truth when it is not convenient, when it will get you in trouble, when it is hard to tell the truth. Only then can you call someone an honest person. Honesty is so perverted these days that you think it is fine to distort things to suit yourself if according to your estimation it is not a big deal... if someone cannot tell such a small thing, how can they tell anything bigger? Character is shining through in everything we say and do.

 

He deserves better than OP? You are pissed at the OP - why? Because she has boundaries that you do not like?

 

I do not know anything about the guy, true. I do know that he told her personal feelings told to him in private to another woman. I do know that he lied he did not tell her anything. I did not tell her to break it off but to talk to him and if things repeat to go her own way.

Settle down now.

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The BF probably lied because the GF would have gotten upset that she was portrayed as the bad guy. His friend probably deserves to know why he can't hang out with her anymore.

 

Sometimes the truth can create unnecessary drama. Everybody tells whit lies. That doesn't make us bad people.

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According to you, it is ok to lie if you don't want to piss someone off? Definition of telling the truth includes telling truth when it is not convenient, when it will get you in trouble, when it is hard to tell the truth. Only then can you call someone an honest person. Honesty is so perverted these days that you think it is fine to distort things to suit yourself if according to your estimation it is not a big deal... if someone cannot tell such a small thing, how can they tell anything bigger? Character is shining through in everything we say and do.

 

He deserves better than OP? You are pissed at the OP - why? Because she has boundaries that you do not like?

 

I do not know anything about the guy, true. I do know that he told her personal feelings told to him in private to another woman. I do know that he lied he did not tell her anything. I did not tell her to break it off but to talk to him and if things repeat to go her own way.

Settle down now.

 

 

Oh Yeah you are right. The NERVE of him. To lie to his girlfriend who snooped through his phone and got him to ditch a friend he had for years . How dare HE tell his girlfriend he didn't say any specifics to that girl. What a liar. She should definitely dump him, because you know...liars these days...now he is going to lie about BIG things too..of course.

 

 

(the above is very sarcastic because it outlines your take on the situation and I think it is a ridiculous view).

 

 

Winterina, I simply disagree with you. Whole heartedly disagree.

I don't hate the OP, but in reality maybe she needs to hear how ridiculous she is behaving so she doesn't lose her boyfriend who by the sounds of it cares enough about her to lose a good friend.

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