Jump to content

Material for a casual sex-geared OLD profile. Thoughts?


PolarCrash

Recommended Posts

So I recently started an OKCupid profile after a few years off (I met my last gf of 5 years on there), but I'm at a stage where I'm not seeking monogamy and don't think I will be for a while.

 

I'm trying to design a profile that's geared towards attaining casual sex, without actually checking the "Casual Sex" box (a huge turnoff for girls, even those who are into it). I had asked here what I could write that could tastefully express an interest in casual sex without sounding too forward or crass; someone suggested a brief blurb about not wanting a wife, kids, minivan and mortgage anytime soon, and another about interested in seeking short-term pleasure without settling down; I decided to keep those bits.

 

Someone else suggested I should be a little humorous and a little less earnest/serious in my profile as a way to appeal to girls who would be into casual sex.

 

I've written up some material that I hope comes across as mildly humorous, whimsical, a little-bit cocky (but not too brash or arrogant), but otherwise indicates that I'm fun-loving, even though I'm definitely not trying to be "boyfriend material".

 

"I'm a little bit steakhouse, a little bit bistro."

 

"I can be a gentleman in a grungy dive bar, but I'd rather be scoundrel in an upscale restaurant."

 

"I'm the guy who sips scotch with your father and slams shots with your brother. Your mother thinks I'm nice, but you fear introducing me to your sisters and girlfriends."

 

"I prefer kissing over killing, but I'm equally good at both."

 

"And I won't wait for you to take a picture of my meal and post it to Instagram; food is for eating, not for photographing."

 

It won't necessarily be worded exactly like this or put up in this order; I'm just presenting the style of material I'm thinking of putting up. I'd appreciate feedback; thoughts?

Link to post
Share on other sites

What happened to your other thread on this topic?

 

No offense, but I don't find any of these to be particularly witty and they don't say much about who you actually are. They're quite cheesy. Again, not to demean what you're trying to do, but if I came across any of these while browsing profiles, I'd roll my eyes and move on. These are my initial thoughts:

 

 

"I'm a little bit steakhouse, a little bit bistro."

 

To me this says you like meat. OK, so what?

 

"I can be a gentleman in a grungy dive bar, but I'd rather be scoundrel in an upscale restaurant."

 

Cheesy.

 

"I'm the guy who sips scotch with your father and slams shots with your brother. Your mother thinks I'm nice, but you fear introducing me to your sisters and girlfriends."

 

Do you have an alcohol problem?

 

"I prefer kissing over killing, but I'm equally good at both."

 

"Good at killing." Just what every woman wants to read in an OLD profile.

 

"And I won't wait for you to take a picture of my meal and post it to Instagram; food is for eating, not for photographing."

 

As an Instagrammer, I'd say get off my back.

 

I dunno. Still needs work, IMO.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
hasaquestion

Just put some pictures. If she likes them she'll want to meetup. Then if she wants to have sex with you she will. No need in overthinking it. Good at killing is one of the strangest things I've ever heard someone say about themselves.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Just put some pictures. If she likes them she'll want to meetup. Then if she wants to have sex with you she will. No need in overthinking it. Good at killing is one of the strangest things I've ever heard someone say about themselves.

 

Agreed. That plus "you fear introducing me to your sisters and girlfriends" make for a (justifiably) frightening depiction.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
So I recently started an OKCupid profile after a few years off (I met my last gf of 5 years on there), but I'm at a stage where I'm not seeking monogamy and don't think I will be for a while.

 

I'm trying to design a profile that's geared towards attaining casual sex, without actually checking the "Casual Sex" box (a huge turnoff for girls, even those who are into it). I had asked here what I could write that could tastefully express an interest in casual sex without sounding too forward or crass; someone suggested a brief blurb about not wanting a wife, kids, minivan and mortgage anytime soon, and another about interested in seeking short-term pleasure without settling down; I decided to keep those bits.

 

Someone else suggested I should be a little humorous and a little less earnest/serious in my profile as a way to appeal to girls who would be into casual sex.

 

I've written up some material that I hope comes across as mildly humorous, whimsical, a little-bit cocky (but not too brash or arrogant), but otherwise indicates that I'm fun-loving, even though I'm definitely not trying to be "boyfriend material".

 

"I'm a little bit steakhouse, a little bit bistro."

 

"I can be a gentleman in a grungy dive bar, but I'd rather be scoundrel in an upscale restaurant."

 

"I'm the guy who sips scotch with your father and slams shots with your brother. Your mother thinks I'm nice, but you fear introducing me to your sisters and girlfriends."

 

"I prefer kissing over killing, but I'm equally good at both."

 

"And I won't wait for you to take a picture of my meal and post it to Instagram; food is for eating, not for photographing."

 

It won't necessarily be worded exactly like this or put up in this order; I'm just presenting the style of material I'm thinking of putting up. I'd appreciate feedback; thoughts?

 

None of that, none of it, suggests to me you're looking for casual sex.

 

Explicitly state in your profile that you are not looking for a relationship, just the company of [whatever personality type of women you like] when the mood strikes the both of you.

 

Those who are also not looking for a relationship will understand what you're saying.

 

Alternatively, search for women who are looking for casual sex.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
What happened to your other thread on this topic?

 

My goal with that thread was to simply find a way to say I'm not interested in a serious relationship; now I'm trying to come up with material that would appeal to girls

 

No offense, but I don't find any of these to be particularly witty and they don't say much about who you actually are.

 

I intend to do all that in the "What I'm Doing With My Life," "What I'm Good At," "What I Often Think About" sections; my career, goals, hobbies, etc. This is just what I want to put in the "About Me" section; the first thing a girl is going to read at the top of the page.

 

They're quite cheesy. Again, not to demean what you're trying to do, but if I came across any of these while browsing profiles, I'd roll my eyes and move on. These are my initial thoughts:

 

"I'm a little bit steakhouse, a little bit bistro."

 

To me this says you like meat. OK, so what?

 

Steakhouse implies ruggedness; bistro implies refinement. I was trying to find a way to say that I can be a little of both

 

"I can be a gentleman in a grungy dive bar, but I'd rather be scoundrel in an upscale restaurant."

 

Cheesy.

 

Very well; considering scratching it.

 

"I'm the guy who sips scotch with your father and slams shots with your brother. Your mother thinks I'm nice, but you fear introducing me to your sisters and girlfriends."

 

Do you have an alcohol problem?

 

Fair enough. How about this? "I'm the guy who plays golf with your father and beer pong with your brother."

 

 

"I prefer kissing over killing, but I'm equally good at both."

 

"Good at killing." Just what every woman wants to read in an OLD profile.

 

Fair enough again; scratched.

 

"And I won't wait for you to take a picture of my meal and post it to Instagram; food is for eating, not for photographing."

 

As an Instagrammer, I'd say get off my back.

 

I'm just saying that supporting a girl's Instagram hobby is a very boyfriend-like thing to do; I was once again trying to find a way to say I'm not trying to become a serious boyfriend anytime soon.

Link to post
Share on other sites
[/b]Steakhouse implies ruggedness; bistro implies refinement. I was trying to find a way to say that I can be a little of both

 

Which is to say you're well-rounded... aka, boyfriend-material.

 

Fair enough. How about this? "I'm the guy who plays golf with your father and beer pong with your brother."

 

Referencing spending time with her family? And you want casual sex? Could you send anymore mixed signals??? (Said in the Chandler voice.)

 

I'm just saying that supporting a girl's Instagram hobby is a very boyfriend-like thing to do; I was once again trying to find a way to say I'm not trying to become a serious boyfriend anytime soon.

 

SAY THAT. Outright.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

For what you're doing, I would just put in the profile things like "looking for fun", you want to "date" for awhile, and possibly list it as non-monogamous. That will get the point across you're not looking for something serious. That will at least get the women looking for serious dating and/or to get married a serious pause reading your profile.

 

"I'm the guy who sips scotch with your father and slams shots with your brother. Your mother thinks I'm nice, but you fear introducing me to your sisters and girlfriends."

 

"I prefer kissing over killing, but I'm equally good at both."

 

"And I won't wait for you to take a picture of my meal and post it to Instagram; food is for eating, not for photographing."[/b]

 

 

I agree it's a bit cheesy but nothing out of the ordinary. There are a lot of guys who post stuff like this. These three are the worst IMO.

 

So basically if you want something casual, you are NOT meeting my family, I don't want a guy who knows how to kill (or is good at it), and I don't want a guy with no manners or who is impatient.

 

Just put some pictures. If she likes them she'll want to meetup. Then if she wants to have sex with you she will. No need in overthinking it. Good at killing is one of the strangest things I've ever heard someone say about themselves.

 

Disagree with this. There are a lot of guys who do this. Even in a casual arrangement we'll have to interact with a guy and there's no point in doing that if we don't think there might be chemistry. I have the chance when on OLD to meet so many men but I have a life. I'm not giving up my precious free time (even for a casual encounter) unless I at least think I'll enjoy the company of the guy I'm with.

 

My advice is to do a search for the guys that OKC says are like you based on your profile. Fill out questions. These guys will be your competition so to speak. Also look country-wide rather than locally. See what things you like/hate from their profiles. I wouldn't steal it word for word but it can give you ideas on how to be creative, how much most profiles suck, and how to differentiate yours without coming off a weird. Put yourself in a woman's shoes when you do this. Is this the type of guy you want to spend some time with? Imagine it's a woman even. Is this someone you would want to spend the evening with even if there was no sex on the table?

Link to post
Share on other sites

More thoughts:

 

Steakhouse implies ruggedness; bistro implies refinement. I was trying to find a way to say that I can be a little of both

 

OK, but don't compare yourself to an eating establishment. "I listen to Chopin while I whittle," or combining two similarly opposing interests conveys the same thing and actually says something about you at the same time.

 

Fair enough. How about this? "I'm the guy who plays golf with your father and beer pong with your brother."

 

Sure. Golf and beer pong are very typical male activities.

 

I'm just saying that supporting a girl's Instagram hobby is a very boyfriend-like thing to do; I was once again trying to find a way to say I'm not trying to become a serious boyfriend anytime soon.

 

I would NEVER understand that that's what you were implying by saying this. My ex BF could not have cared less about my Instagram account, and I wouldn't consider support of such to be a boyfriend-like duty.

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Which is to say you're well-rounded... aka, boyfriend-material.

 

Referencing spending time with her family? And you want casual sex? Could you send anymore mixed signals??? (Said in the Chandler voice.)

 

This had not occurred to me, but yes, exactly.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
None of that, none of it, suggests to me you're looking for casual sex.

 

Explicitly state in your profile that you are not looking for a relationship, just the company of [whatever personality type of women you like] when the mood strikes the both of you.

 

Those who are also not looking for a relationship will understand what you're saying.

 

Alternatively, search for women who are looking for casual sex.

 

I have researched what type of girls are into casual sex around me. I live in the Greater NYC area and most of the girls around here who are into that tend to be the eccentric, artsy hipster types. Many of these girls' profiles exhibit a high level of cultural sophistication and appreciation for things like art, theater, literature (you would not believe how many cute girls around here read Proust and Vonnegut) and so forth.

 

I've also noticed quite a few of these girls' profiles say things along the lines of "Just because I list Casual Sex doesn't mean I'm going to sleep with you the moment we meet; there still needs to be some chemistry and connection." A lot of these girls also list "Sapiosexual" (turned on by intelligence) in their profiles.

 

Do you think such simple, straight-forward language could appeal to girls like this? I was hoping to generate something that would make them think a little to extract the meaning.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Do you think such simple, straight-forward language could appeal to girls like this? I was hoping to generate something that would make them think a little to extract the meaning.

 

They would probably prefer it to a man who describes himself as a bistro and says he likes golf and beer pong.

 

Just sayin'.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Versacehottie
What happened to your other thread on this topic?

 

No offense, but I don't find any of these to be particularly witty and they don't say much about who you actually are. They're quite cheesy. Again, not to demean what you're trying to do, but if I came across any of these while browsing profiles, I'd roll my eyes and move on. These are my initial thoughts:

 

 

 

I dunno. Still needs work, IMO.

 

Well i don't think any of those statements address the "casual sex" message you want to send. I guess there is a reason you would check the box "casual sex" relationship on oKc. Yes, you are right a good majority of women are going to find that crass. But if you do the other, you kind of are indicating that you are open for something (a relationship) that you really are not. Fair to say you want casual sex with girlfriend type material girl rather than a girl who outright says she wants casual sex? Yeah, it's a little deceptive. Not cool.

 

And the statements you were thinking of saying above are kind of cheesy. Sorry.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

 

Disagree with this. There are a lot of guys who do this. Even in a casual arrangement we'll have to interact with a guy and there's no point in doing that if we don't think there might be chemistry. I have the chance when on OLD to meet so many men but I have a life. I'm not giving up my precious free time (even for a casual encounter) unless I at least think I'll enjoy the company of the guy I'm with.

 

Ditto; many of the girls interested in casual sex around here flatly state this on their profiles.

 

One of the girls actually stated in her "You should message me if" section "If you can actually start a conversation instead of just sending me a shirtless selfie and a dickpic LOL

 

My advice is to do a search for the guys that OKC says are like you based on your profile. Fill out questions. These guys will be your competition so to speak. Also look country-wide rather than locally. See what things you like/hate from their profiles. I wouldn't steal it word for word but it can give you ideas on how to be creative, how much most profiles suck, and how to differentiate yours without coming off a weird. Put yourself in a woman's shoes when you do this. Is this the type of guy you want to spend some time with? Imagine it's a woman even. Is this someone you would want to spend the evening with even if there was no sex on the table?

 

Good idea; thanks!

Link to post
Share on other sites

I do think cheeky humor is the way to go. Something along the lines of:

 

Handsome rake seeks willing leading lady. Do you want to be the Bond-girl to my super spy? Let's negotiate our respective undercover rolls for this short run adventure.

Link to post
Share on other sites

You want casual sex but dont want to go on an appropriate casual friends site, you dont want to tick the casual sex option and you dont want to use the words casual sex in your profile.

Instead, you want to use witty lines- some of them listing activities you could do with my family. And you expect women to get your very vague hints? How?

You Instagram one for instance doesnt imply no-bf material to me, it just implies impatient, and who wants an impatient guy, even for sex...

Just use a f buddy site. There are so many vague, ambigous, strange profiles us women have to wade through in search of a relationship. Dont add to the pile. Or at least be CLEAR.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
fitnessfan365

Trying to go after something "in code" kind of comes off like manipulation man. It's always better to just be open/honest about what you want. I mean if you're scared to be direct about it, you shouldn't be trying have it.

  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites
CherryVanilla

Simply say you're looking for fun, a partner in crime or a new friend.

 

Everybody knows that these expressions in OLD mean CASUAL SEX.

 

But honestly, lying and trying to manipulate people is definitely not the best option.

Link to post
Share on other sites
mattelipstick
So I recently started an OKCupid profile after a few years off (I met my last gf of 5 years on there), but I'm at a stage where I'm not seeking monogamy and don't think I will be for a while.

 

I'm trying to design a profile that's geared towards attaining casual sex, without actually checking the "Casual Sex" box (a huge turnoff for girls, even those who are into it). I had asked here what I could write that could tastefully express an interest in casual sex without sounding too forward or crass; someone suggested a brief blurb about not wanting a wife, kids, minivan and mortgage anytime soon, and another about interested in seeking short-term pleasure without settling down; I decided to keep those bits.

 

Someone else suggested I should be a little humorous and a little less earnest/serious in my profile as a way to appeal to girls who would be into casual sex.

 

I've written up some material that I hope comes across as mildly humorous, whimsical, a little-bit cocky (but not too brash or arrogant), but otherwise indicates that I'm fun-loving, even though I'm definitely not trying to be "boyfriend material".

 

"I'm a little bit steakhouse, a little bit bistro."

 

"I can be a gentleman in a grungy dive bar, but I'd rather be scoundrel in an upscale restaurant."

 

"I'm the guy who sips scotch with your father and slams shots with your brother. Your mother thinks I'm nice, but you fear introducing me to your sisters and girlfriends."

 

"I prefer kissing over killing, but I'm equally good at both."

 

"And I won't wait for you to take a picture of my meal and post it to Instagram; food is for eating, not for photographing."

 

It won't necessarily be worded exactly like this or put up in this order; I'm just presenting the style of material I'm thinking of putting up. I'd appreciate feedback; thoughts?

 

**cringe**

 

I don't think any of that is humorous. Exceedingly cheesy, yes.

 

And you got great advice in the other thread that you obviously aren't heeding.

Link to post
Share on other sites
hasaquestion
You want casual sex but dont want to go on an appropriate casual friends site, you dont want to tick the casual sex option and you dont want to use the words casual sex in your profile.

Instead, you want to use witty lines- some of them listing activities you could do with my family. And you expect women to get your very vague hints? How?

You Instagram one for instance doesnt imply no-bf material to me, it just implies impatient, and who wants an impatient guy, even for sex...

Just use a f buddy site. There are so many vague, ambigous, strange profiles us women have to wade through in search of a relationship. Dont add to the pile. Or at least be CLEAR.

 

Serious question. What percentage of the time a man has casual sex facilitated by online dating, do they do this?

 

I get the logic behind telling the guy that his profile should say "Greetings fellow citizien, I am looking for a female individual who is interested in me putting my penis in their vagina". The problem with advising him to do that is that no one actually does that!

 

Same with "casual sex site" - what is that? Most people use OK Cupid, or POF, or Tinder. The same sites people use for dating. Do you seriously think all the pairs of people having casual sex out there met on "HornyCasualSexAdultSwingers.ru"? Of course not. They meet the same way couples do. And they're attracted to each other... for a lot of the same reasons couples are.

 

I'm not saying he should bombard the viewer with these silly 'wink wink nudge nudge' statements. But you don't look for casual sex by saying "I'm looking for casual sex guys ;)". Who actually does that? Even on Tinder you broach the subject AFTER being matched with the other person and being redirected to a private environment.

 

OP, make a profile with some flattering pictures. Maybe put the partner in crime type throwaway. The point is that whatever you want is about attraction. Don't sweat the specifics.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
You want casual sex but dont want to go on an appropriate casual friends site, you dont want to tick the casual sex option and you dont want to use the words casual sex in your profile.

 

It's pretty common knowledge that most "adult hookup" sites are scams. Remember the Ashley Madison debacle? Something like 80%-85% of the women on there were fake; many of them actually being run by the company to lure men in.

 

hasaquestion said it best; people meet people for casual sex the same way they meet partners for serious relationship; the normal way.

 

And also, like hasaquestion said, it's pretty common knowledge that openly saying "I want casual sex" is a death-sentence for guys on online dating.

 

I have A-List membership on OKC and I have the option to search by Attractiveness (based on the number of likes a profile gets). I searched "men attracted to women," narrowed it to my age range, set Match% to max (since I answered most of the questions in a pro-casual sex manner) and set the Attractiveness score to max. Almost none of them say "casual sex." Those few that due look like male-models. Most of the regular-looking guys have "short term dating and new friends" selected (like I do).

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Simply say you're looking for fun, a partner in crime or a new friend.

 

Everybody knows that these expressions in OLD mean CASUAL SEX.

 

But honestly, lying and trying to manipulate people is definitely not the best option.

 

I actually never knew "partner in crime" was code for casual sex; I'll definitely be on the lookout now.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Simply say you're looking for fun, a partner in crime or a new friend.

 

Everybody knows that these expressions in OLD mean CASUAL SEX.

 

Absolutely doesn't mean that to me! Nor to the men I've dated who used it in their profile.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I actually never knew "partner in crime" was code for casual sex; I'll definitely be on the lookout now.

 

Because it's not code for casual sex, that's why you never knew.

 

Why not just use Tinder???

Link to post
Share on other sites
CherryVanilla
Because it's not code for casual sex, that's why you never knew.

 

Why not just use Tinder???

 

LOL. According to my "sources", it is.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...