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Sending flowers to an ex? good Idea or bad?


donvito

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Long story sorry,

 

Gf loved me a lot, would do anything for me.

 

I took advantage of her and I don't know why.

 

She found text messages from 3 months ago in my phone of me flirting with a girl(and little things I did that builded up to this), she flipped out and went home and cried to her parents.

 

 

We went on a break, her dad blocked my phone number. (I think she told her dad we broke up but she told me that we were on a break.

 

(when in relationship never thought her parents were really in to me because I'm nervous when speaking to them)

 

While on the break she would text me we would fight/trying to work things out and then she hung out with me on my birthday.

 

2 weeks in to the break, she broke up with me, and said "she wants to be alone for awhile". I think her dad found out that we were still talking and hung out on my birthday. (So he convinced/made her breakup with me). Then I asked while she was breaking up with me "could you see us together in the future if not I'm going to move on" her answer was "I don't know what the future holds"(that means she doesn't want me to move on or she is trying to move on without seeing me with somebody else)

 

So I'm doing the no contact rule right now, and I'm 2 weeks strong!

 

If she doesn't text me back after no contact period or she is blunt with the respond, do you think I should send flowers to her work saying to meet me on our would be 2 year anniversary? the card saying: "Ill be at starbucks on feb2nd at 4pm" ?

 

(Making the card sound less needy by saying "i'll be at" then the needy way "meet me at")

 

So my question is if this is a good idea or not?

 

Is there something else I should do

Please help I don't know who to ask and i'm scared if she doesn't reply! :(

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Well, first of all you brought this on yourself.

 

Sending flowers will probably appear cheap, she doesn't want damn flowers. She wants a guy she can trust, how can she trust you now? If your girlfriend flirted with another guy and you found out, what would it take for you to really trust her?

 

Your greatest worry appear to be the insignificant difference between "I'll be at" and "meet me at", seriously dude there's no difference to how she'll interpret it.

 

Don't try to play nice buying her flowers and stuff. You gotta fully comprehend how you hurt her and you have to show her you understand it's not ok, then maybe and just maybe will she give you another chance. You better not waste it if you do, sounds like you have a good girlfriend and you have to take care of her and appreciate what she does for you. That's what you got to work on before the no contact period ends, I suggest you think long and hard about how your relationship should work. You've messed up, man up and take responsibility for what you did.

 

I presume you were together 3 months ago, meaning you flirted with someone else while with your girlfriend. I can hardly see her reacting like that if it was old messages from before your relationship.

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I don't think it's a good idea, the trust has been broken and I doubt she will positively about the flowers and you trying to meet her. If I was the girl I would just completely forget about you and you'll never know about me ever. But everyone is different. If anything I think you could send those flowers with an apology, saying that you messed up everything, that you regret doing it, that you acted immatureand stupid, that you are very sorry and that you wish her the best in life. That will probably cause a better reactionin her. Do not bug her trying to get her back just apologize, do not expect anything from her at this point. Time will heal things, get on with your life and use this experience as a lesson for a better next relationship with someone else, never take someone else's feelingsfor granted.

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Terrible idea... Flowers are what "sorry husbands" bring home in 1960 TV shows after an argument. If you never regularly gave her flowers before than this is just a cheap ploy she will see through.

 

You messed up, so let her be alone. The more you ask her when she's ready and try to talk to her, the less chance you have.

 

It's gonna sounds scummy, but I'm guess you both are young. And youth isn't as experienced so if you appear not to be bothered at all by being single.. That'll get under her skin more than anything.

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Well, first of all you brought this on yourself.

 

Sending flowers will probably appear cheap, she doesn't want damn flowers. She wants a guy she can trust, how can she trust you now? If your girlfriend flirted with another guy and you found out, what would it take for you to really trust her?

 

Your greatest worry appear to be the insignificant difference between "I'll be at" and "meet me at", seriously dude there's no difference to how she'll interpret it.

 

Don't try to play nice buying her flowers and stuff. You gotta fully comprehend how you hurt her and you have to show her you understand it's not ok, then maybe and just maybe will she give you another chance. You better not waste it if you do, sounds like you have a good girlfriend and you have to take care of her and appreciate what she does for you. That's what you got to work on before the no contact period ends, I suggest you think long and hard about how your relationship should work. You've messed up, man up and take responsibility for what you did.

 

I presume you were together 3 months ago, meaning you flirted with someone else while with your girlfriend. I can hardly see her reacting like that if it was old messages from before your relationship.

 

 

I feel like a piece of sh*t after that. :(

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I don't think it's a good idea, the trust has been broken and I doubt she will positively about the flowers and you trying to meet her. If I was the girl I would just completely forget about you and you'll never know about me ever. But everyone is different. If anything I think you could send those flowers with an apology, saying that you messed up everything, that you regret doing it, that you acted immatureand stupid, that you are very sorry and that you wish her the best in life. That will probably cause a better reactionin her. Do not bug her trying to get her back just apologize, do not expect anything from her at this point. Time will heal things, get on with your life and use this experience as a lesson for a better next relationship with someone else, never take someone else's feelingsfor granted.

 

So you think there is no way to get back with her? I'm realizing how much of an ******* I was to her.

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Terrible idea... Flowers are what "sorry husbands" bring home in 1960 TV shows after an argument. If you never regularly gave her flowers before than this is just a cheap ploy she will see through.

 

You messed up, so let her be alone. The more you ask her when she's ready and try to talk to her, the less chance you have.

 

It's gonna sounds scummy, but I'm guess you both are young. And youth isn't as experienced so if you appear not to be bothered at all by being single.. That'll get under her skin more than anything.

 

So try you're say to leave her be for awhile? I mean I don't want her to move on.

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So you think there is no way to get back with her? I'm realizing how much of an ******* I was to her.

The only way you'll get back with her is if she wants you back. And why would she want you back after how you treated her?

 

So try you're say to leave her be for awhile? I mean I don't want her to move on.

What you want her to do is irrelevant. She is a human being with her own desires and wishes. If she wants to move on then she will, and there isn't a thing you can do about it.

 

Leave her alone. If she wants you back she will let you know. She knows how to contact you. If she doesn't then you have to accept that you screwed it up and move on.

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So try you're say to leave her be for awhile? I mean I don't want her to move on.

 

If you blatantly tell her "if I wait for you, will you eventually wanna get back together with me ?" Like you did, then you already made her feel like she can toy with you and do whatever she wants right now and you'll still be waiting there whenever she decides she wants a BF again.

 

And she has every right to string you along to be honest. You're the one who did wrong. But you asked what would get her back. And it's not the sappy apology and telling her u lover her and it'll never happen again because you wanna be with her forever , etc. That's just gonna make her kno she can punish you for as long as she wants.

 

Now if you don't contact her then after a few weeks she'll wonder what you're doing instead you the other way around. If she texts you or anything, you say "thought you wanted space?" . She's telling u what she wants. Do it.

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The only way you'll get back with her is if she wants you back. And why would she want you back after how you treated her?

 

 

What you want her to do is irrelevant. She is a human being with her own desires and wishes. If she wants to move on then she will, and there isn't a thing you can do about it.

 

Leave her alone. If she wants you back she will let you know. She knows how to contact you. If she doesn't then you have to accept that you screwed it up and move on.

 

So you're saying any contact I give to her would just hurt my chances?

 

See I broke up with her awhile back before because we were both going to college and she never contacted me but when I contacted her "i called her drunk at college really upset saying I missed her blah blah" and she said "I thought you moved on I miss you so much ect..." She was so happy I got back with her, If she sees that Ive changed should I?

 

Also would if I gave it like 2 months of no contact do you think that would be better?

 

do you think I should contact her because she didnt before?

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You have to prove to her somehow that you've changed and become a better person. That probably won't happen overnight.

 

Give it some time, and perhaps she will contact you. If so, your probably in.

 

If not, make a small jester that you've changed and realize that you have to be a better person for her. She may respond positively. There are some good books on how to win an ex back.

 

However, if it doesn't work, it was a learning experience. And you're probably young enough to just play the field and get it out of your system before getting serious again.

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If you blatantly tell her "if I wait for you, will you eventually wanna get back together with me ?" Like you did, then you already made her feel like she can toy with you and do whatever she wants right now and you'll still be waiting there whenever she decides she wants a BF again.

 

And she has every right to string you along to be honest. You're the one who did wrong. But you asked what would get her back. And it's not the sappy apology and telling her u lover her and it'll never happen again because you wanna be with her forever , etc. That's just gonna make her kno she can punish you for as long as she wants.

 

Now if you don't contact her then after a few weeks she'll wonder what you're doing instead you the other way around. If she texts you or anything, you say "thought you wanted space?" . She's telling u what she wants. Do it.

 

 

So your saying to not contact her? I have a problem with this because

 

I broke up awhile back right before college and we were only together for a few months and she didnt contat me. I was about a month in to college and I called her upset saying "i missed you blah blah" and she was so happy to get back with me (saying ily,imy) but she didnt contact me that time. I dont think she is the person to do so.

 

lets say she doesn't contact me in a few weeks, Im already 2weeks in no contact how much longer should I wait?

 

Ps if I did contact her I would say something like "guess who I just saw" nothing like I miss you, ily ect

 

Thanks for the help

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You have to prove to her somehow that you've changed and become a better person. That probably won't happen overnight.

 

Give it some time, and perhaps she will contact you. If so, your probably in.

 

If not, make a small jester that you've changed and realize that you have to be a better person for her. She may respond positively. There are some good books on how to win an ex back.

 

However, if it doesn't work, it was a learning experience. And you're probably young enough to just play the field and get it out of your system before getting serious again.

 

How much time do you think and please be honest!

 

How do I make that small jester? Do you mean as in a text messages or try to meet up with her?

 

Thanks for the help

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So your saying to not contact her? I have a problem with this because

 

I broke up awhile back right before college and we were only together for a few months and she didnt contat me. I was about a month in to college and I called her upset saying "i missed you blah blah" and she was so happy to get back with me (saying ily,imy) but she didnt contact me that time. I dont think she is the person to do so.

 

lets say she doesn't contact me in a few weeks, Im already 2weeks in no contact how much longer should I wait?

 

Ps if I did contact her I would say something like "guess who I just saw" nothing like I miss you, ily ect

 

Thanks for the help

 

 

You only were broken up for a month that first time during her first few weeks at college when everything is new and being experienced. So you have no idea if she would've eventually contacted you if you didn't give in so quickly.

 

No one here is going to be able to give you the answer to how long or when you should talk to her or expect her to contact you. We don't know her or your relationship, only you and her do.

 

"Guess who I just saw..." is such a transparent excuse she'll see through. Because once you tell her (which either will be a lie you make up that you know she'll react with "omg haha that's awesome/hilarious) , what's you're next message gonna be?

 

It's gonna be "how have you been?/have a good time off?.. Etc). Your young so it's your first instinct, I know how it can feel as I went through it during hs and college to. But if she goes to a diff school then you, you have no real way of knowing if she's into anyone else or wants to see if it plays out before she gets back together with you. And the small talk text after a month or 2 is just telling her "I can't go on and be happy without you, please take me back".

 

And forget about "showing her you've changed". You're not gonna change at all on a noticeable level in 2 months. No one does. The real way to show her is... Like I said.. Give her the space she asks for and don't text her or contact until she contacts you. If she never does, then she never does. You shouldn't wanna date someone who could just drop you like that anyways.

 

My bet is she's gonna reach out at some point as long as you don't give in. If you make yourself appear too available and desperate for her, she'll lose her attraction for you because you'll come off as weak and too easy

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I don't understand how will she gain trust by giving her space! Space is not going to rebuild trust. She obviously is hurt , mad and doesn't trust him because he is flirting with other girls.

OP, you need to rebuild trust ( don't ask me how ,lol)

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I think you can give it a shot but it seems like the problems run deeper than you may realize. Why do you think that her father is pulling all the strings here? You talk as though she doesn't have a mind of her own. It's very possible that she has had enough. The fact that you don't give her credit for her own actions is kind of telling in its own way.

 

I personally never experienced success after break ups. It seems that whatever issues were there before never went away. Break ups are very damaging and, once that distance is created, it's hard to re-group over and over again.

 

I'm not saying don't fight for what you want but you may want to ask yourself what is it about you that keeps sabotaging this relationship and why you seem to have so little respect for her. It may be something she does, or it may be something in your personality. Either way, until this is resolved, nothing will really change.

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I think you can give it a shot but it seems like the problems run deeper than you may realize. Why do you think that her father is pulling all the strings here? You talk as though she doesn't have a mind of her own. It's very possible that she has had enough. The fact that you don't give her credit for her own actions is kind of telling in its own way.

 

I personally never experienced success after break ups. It seems that whatever issues were there before never went away. Break ups are very damaging and, once that distance is created, it's hard to re-group over and over again.

 

I'm not saying don't fight for what you want but you may want to ask yourself what is it about you that keeps sabotaging this relationship and why you seem to have so little respect for her. It may be something she does, or it may be something in your personality. Either way, until this is resolved, nothing will really change.

 

So do you know of anyway I should go about getting her back? I just really want to fix things.

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I feel like a piece of sh*t after that. :(

Was I right? If I was then it was the point to feel like that, but it was also the point to make you reflect on those feelings. I think how I made you feel with that post is what she feels after what you did. I know it's hard feelings, but getting through those will make you stronger and more mature.

 

I could have told you something to make you feel good, but it wouldn't be what you needed to hear.

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Was I right? If I was then it was the point to feel like that, but it was also the point to make you reflect on those feelings. I think how I made you feel with that post is what she feels after what you did. I know it's hard feelings, but getting through those will make you stronger and more mature.

 

I could have told you something to make you feel good, but it wouldn't be what you needed to hear.

 

lol thanks a lot, I appreciate honest help.

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If she's firm in her resolution to end things, there is no way to get her back

 

She was fim on breaking up but she couldn't answer my question during the break up "Do you see yourself with me in the future" and she kept saying "Idk what the future holds", at least it wasn't a "h*ll no!"

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She was fim on breaking up but she couldn't answer my question during the break up "Do you see yourself with me in the future" and she kept saying "Idk what the future holds", at least it wasn't a "h*ll no!"

 

 

"idk what the future holds" is a "hell no" Trust me. She didn't have the courage to tell you "hell no" and is putting you down lightly.

 

You will learn everything eventually, my son.

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CherryVanilla

I don't know why on Earth men think they can break a woman's heart and that we will be 100% fine and happy if they give us flowers or chocolate.

 

You can't mend a heart with objects. You can't buy love.

 

Leave her alone. You've hurt her enough already.

 

If you give her flowers she will think you're running after her because you don't have any other options left. Don't do that.

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If your girlfriend is so amazing why were you flirting with other women?

 

I have a feeling this is not the only incident your girlfriend is mad about.

 

I think she hurt your ego by breaking up with you. You just want to prove to yourself you can get her back. In everything you are saying I don't read any sincere regret or any empathy for what you put her through.

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I don't know why on Earth men think they can break a woman's heart and that we will be 100% fine and happy if they give us flowers or chocolate.

 

You can't mend a heart with objects. You can't buy love.

 

Leave her alone. You've hurt her enough already.

 

If you give her flowers she will think you're running after her because you don't have any other options left. Don't do that.

 

That is a really good point, do you think I should never contact her? What do you think I should do?

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