She thinks Im playing games. I want to get her back. Could be too late.....

[Sdives]

been getting to know this girl that works at the gym. Our eye contact is constant no matter where we are in the gym and I have spoken with her many times. She initates approaches and tells me all about herselff.Scheduling conflicts delayed this. I eventually got her number it was the easiest number grab ever, she wanted me to text her that very night when she got off work. I didn’t.

 

I waited 5 days, was that too long? I did this because I am overworked and need sleep I literally took allot time off. I did text her she was excited at first and then got cold. I tried to go for the date. Again no response.

 

Basically everything tanked after waiting 5 days.She was good to go then nothing

 

So I said (via text )what I wanted to say. i.e. Sorry for not calling when she asked and that I still wanted to get to know her more and continue the conversations that we had there. I said if she feels up for it again text me etc.

 

I wished her well and that was it. It was more elaborate than that. I thought she would never talk to me again.

 

She texted back right away saying and insisting over an over that she wasn't pissed off for me not calling (she was and we all know this). And that she is busy and I shouldn't get offended that she didn't reply back to my texts. (I was... we all know this). She insisted for me to not get offended.

 

 

 

So basically... I said sorry and she said sorry.

 

She still talks/texts to me, she’s very nice. Has not deleted me on Facebook and still looks at me all the time whenever I am there, every single time the whole time during my workouts, where ever we are in the gym. She does not excommunicate me. She doesn't act angry.

 

I don’t see how not texting at that specified time ruined it all. I told her many times how busy I am before hand and as I got the number that time. This was our last interaction besides saying hello and texts. This was the only event that caused this.

 

I intend to hold back for a while then re-engage her in the gym via small talk when I bump into her. This was different for me because it seemed like sure thing, when she gave the number she was super enthusiastic/ nervous. I was flattered I hadn't seen this in along time. The constant eye contact and smiles were amazingly blatant

 

It may be beyond help, but she’s easy going and not hostile to me in any way .She seems really nice. What’s the best course of action to try and get it going again? Im 100% certain there is no other guy

 

Honestly I want another shot but don't know how. I was really excited to possibly start something with her. It can't be dead. Its too small of a thing to radically change an opinion especially after I explained myself. I dont have one-its. But still very interested. She still looks at me allot and I look at her.

 

This is so depressing. I think she changed her mind due to misconstrued disinterest from me

 

I do want to make another try and swing things around

 

When I did text her the first time She was so enthusiastic in the text. Talked for a bit and then vanished.

 

She still looks at me and so do I.

 

has anyone fixed a situation like this? how can I do this?

 

She's not hostile and responds to my texts.

 

This was inadvertent mistake. I don't have a history of this stuff. It was a tactical error. I really want to win her back.

 

This wasn't my normal behaviour.

[Scarlett.O'hara]

I don’t see how not texting at that specified time ruined it all.

 

That's the problem. You just don't get it. It is a big deal. It takes 30 seconds to send a text and you took 5 days to do it.

 

Can you imagine the disappointment checking your phone, waiting for that text or call? Every time it buzzes your heart races with anticipation, only to realize it is from someone else. After 3 days you become annoyed, the person doesn't care or respect your feelings, it was all just a game to them. On the 5th day you get a text, your feelings are mixed. You don't know what to think anymore, you liked them but how can you trust them now? You send a reply because you don't want to burn a bridge, but you also feel that something nice has been ruined.

 

Be aware that if there is an unreasonable length of time before texting when you said you would it can be a huge reg flag for a lot of people. She is probably wondering if it is a pattern with you and whether you are just another player.

 

Despite the fact that she liked you, she has reservations now. In time you might be able to regain some trust with her. However, if you don't get another chance, take it as a valuable lesson of how you treat someone you are really interested in.

[Sdives]

That's the problem. You just don't get it. It is a big deal. It takes 30 seconds to send a text and you took 5 days to do it.

 

Can you imagine the disappointment checking your phone, waiting for that text or call? Every time it buzzes your heart races with anticipation, only to realize it is from someone else. After 3 days you become annoyed, the person doesn't care or respect your feelings, it was all just a game to them. On the 5th day you get a text, your feelings are mixed. You don't know what to think anymore, you liked them but how can you trust them now? You send a reply because you don't want to burn a bridge, but you also feel that something nice has been ruined.

 

Be aware that if there is an unreasonable length of time before texting when you said you would it can be a huge reg flag for a lot of people. She is probably wondering if it is a pattern with you and whether you are just another player.

 

Despite the fact that she liked you, she has reservations now. In time you might be able to regain some trust with her. However, if you don't get another chance, take it as a valuable lesson of how you treat someone you are really interested in.

 

 

I want to get one. How I do re-attract her? can I send the occasional how are you text? maybe something funny? and talk in person

 

How do I go about this? I will update this thread as I go. I really do want some input

[Sdives]

She has apologized for not gutting back to me then via text and I shouldn't take offence to it. I want to get another shot.

[bathtub-row]

If you told her that you would text her, then you discredited yourself by not doing what you said you'd do. On the other hand, she made a mistake by telling you to text her at a certain time. Dumb move on her part.

 

What's with texting anyway if you don't really know one another? I think it's in bad taste. Just go talk to the girl and freakin ask her out. What's so complicated about that?

[Scarlett.O'hara]

She has apologized for not gutting back to me then via text and I shouldn't take offence to it. I want to get another shot.

 

That was done in retaliation for what you did. The trouble with this is that it can have a carryover effect. She starts to delay her responses which will frustrate you, and in turn you start doing the same thing. It can become a vicious cycle so you need to be careful of playing those games.

 

In regards to getting another shot, you probably have a better chance by talking to her in person. Be sincere, if this was truly out of character for you, tell her that. Ask her for a chance to take it up to her, if she says yes, make the date memorable and special. Back up your words with actions.

[Sdives]

I have some ideas now what to do. What have others down that worked?

[Sdives]

That was done in retaliation for what you did. The trouble with this is that it can have a carryover effect. She starts to delay her responses which will frustrate you, and in turn you start doing the same thing. It can become a vicious cycle so you need to be careful of playing those games.

 

In regards to getting another shot, you probably have a better chance by talking to her in person. Be sincere, if this was truly out of character for you, tell her that. Ask her for a chance to take it up to her, if she says yes, make the date memorable and special. Back up your words with actions.

 

I agree. On multiple places I have this thread going. This is the best reply so far.

 

Here is the deal she will make small talk with me and apologize for not responding. right away even after like 40 minutes. Midweek I will engage her text wise. She seems to like that best so far. If that goes well, I will talk in person as well and hit both angles. Hopefully she will come around.

 

She talks to me still looks at me in the gym all the time. I need to grain her interest and trust.

 

If I text her questions about getting to know her. She seems to respond well to that. I cant ask her out yet. I have... she claims to be busy.. yet will talk about her life on text. She does apologize for not responding to me initially claiming she is bad with text (this is a lie). Yet she prefers text over everything else.

 

She is apologizing to me.. without me calling her out on not texting back. So I think she somewhat cares. Has not deleted me on social media.

 

I'm 35 and I haven't seen a girl this enthusiastic in a quite a few years or at least was.

 

I played it too cool and ruined it.

 

All the women staff in the gym are smiling at me now for some reason. It doesn't seem negative. Maybe its more gossip. Or because I am a regular and now they know something about me.

 

What do you think of this idea Scarlett? I feel her still taking on text to me and saying sorry, may be a clue that I have a shot it's not like she won't talk to me anymore

 

What is a good site for funny texts? nothing dirty or obnoxious

Edited December 7, 2015 by Sdives

[Maggie4]

Don't make it anymore complicated. Stop apologizing, and just act as if nothing was wrong. That works really well, sometimes. Other times, not. Nothing you've done so far would make you a jerk, so quit dwelling on it. Ask her out, text her, call her.

[Sdives]

Don't make it anymore complicated. Stop apologizing, and just act as if nothing was wrong. That works really well, sometimes. Other times, not. Nothing you've done so far would make you a jerk, so quit dwelling on it. Ask her out, text her, call her.

 

 

I answered this above. My above post is my strategy. What do you think?

 

I think it could be that she was major into me and it hurt her. I didnt know any better.

 

She has not cut me off.

[Maggie4]

I answered this above. My above post is my strategy. What do you think?

 

I think it could be that she was major into me and it hurt her. I didnt know any better.

 

She has not cut me off.

 

You have a strategy? You said something about hitting both angles. What angles? I think you should move full speed ahead, don't worry about it being too late. Nothing really bad has happened, so it's not too late.

[Sdives]

You have a strategy? You said something about hitting both angles. What angles? I think you should move full speed ahead, don't worry about it being too late. Nothing really bad has happened, so it's not too late.

 

First text her, she likes that, and thats what she wanted initially and I didn't.

 

Then go up to her in person shortly after. Baby steps. Build it from the ground up.She has a text preference.So i'll take an interest in her life via text and not ask her out just yet.

 

My above post is what I mean.

 

She's acting this way because it could be I hurt her and I underestimated her interest.But I'm not cut off so the door is still possibly open.

 

She hasn't cut me off. she makes small talk still

[Sdives]

You have a strategy? You said something about hitting both angles. What angles? I think you should move full speed ahead, don't worry about it being too late. Nothing really bad has happened, so it's not too late.

 

You don't think the door is closed you mean? full speed ahead meaning?? Wont that scare her away? does she need some distance first?

 

I was going to start texting her on Tuesday small get to know you talk. maybe some humour too

Edited December 7, 2015 by Sdives

[TheTraveler]

how old is she?

[Sdives]

how old is she?

 

20 almost 21.Immature somewhat yes.

[Maggie4]

You don't think the door is closed you mean? full speed ahead meaning?? Wont that scare her away? does she need some distance first?

 

I was going to start texting her on Tuesday small get to know you talk. maybe some humour too

 

You know, reading your posts, I begin to think you didn't text her for those five days on purpose. Is that what you meant when you said you played it cool? Your way of thinking is very complicated and not straightforward. Learn your lesson from the first round: Don't wait.

[TheTraveler]

You have messed up. You need to stop texting her and ignore her at the gym. Go talk to other women. If she does come up to you, smile and make a quick chat, and move onto the next bench/dumbells/etc.

 

I've been in this situation recently. When she reaches out to you via text. Set up a date.

[ExpatInItaly]

You have messed up. You need to stop texting her and ignore her at the gym. Go talk to other women. If she does come up to you, smile and make a quick chat, and move onto the next bench/dumbells/etc.

 

I've been in this situation recently. When she reaches out to you via text. Set up a date.

 

OP, please do not follow this suggestion. It will only confirm any doubts she had about you and will further put her off you.

 

Do what the others suggested and just talk to her already. You're already over-complicating things by coming up with strategies and what not.

 

And don't wait so long to text a woman again. You're not so busy that you couldn't take 30 seconds somewhere in those 5 days to get in touch. I know you realize now this was a mistake; I'm just not sure you get how off-putting that is from a woman's perspective.

[Sdives]

OP, please do not follow this suggestion. It will only confirm any doubts she had about you and will further put her off you.

 

Do what the others suggested and just talk to her already. You're already over-complicating things by coming up with strategies and what not.

 

And don't wait so long to text a woman again. You're not so busy that you couldn't take 30 seconds somewhere in those 5 days to get in touch. I know you realize now this was a mistake; I'm just not sure you get how off-putting that is from a woman's perspective.

 

I'm not going to pursue other gym women. No way . I will try to befriend her text for now. She liked that. I want her to warm up to me again. I will update this thread as I go . I will get started today. I really hope she gives this another shot I really do. I don't have a rep for messing with women. I want to restart her Interest. Any other ideas? I won't apologize anymore or bring it up. I will shift conversation elsewhere. This better work.

[TheTraveler]

I'm not going to pursue other gym women. No way . I will try to befriend her text for now. She liked that. I want her to warm up to me again. I will update this thread as I go . I will get started today. I really hope she gives this another shot I really do. I don't have a rep for messing with women. I want to restart her Interest. Any other ideas? I won't apologize anymore or bring it up. I will shift conversation elsewhere. This better work.

 

You are 35, she is 21. Why not pursue other women at the gym? You already said she turned you down for a dinner date. Why are you so fixated on this one?

[Sdives]

You are 35, she is 21. Why not pursue other women at the gym? You already said she turned you down for a dinner date. Why are you so fixated on this one?

 

It's not over yet.im not pursuing other women yet. She has repeatedly apologized to me when she never had to. I'm going to build this back up starting today.

[Glitters]

Don't hit on other women in front of her ! Geez!

 

If she is nice , easy going etc then you probably are taking advantage of her soft nature. Don't do that. It will come back to bite you big time.

 

How long do you sleep for ? 5 days , non stop ? Can't spare 10 minutes for a girl you are interested in? And she apologized to you , for what ? That's her indirect way of saying that she likes you and is ready to ignore little hick ups. But if you keep doing it , she will walk away even if it will hurt her.

[Sdives]

Glitters you're right . I was thinking that to. Her apologizing was her saying she likes me yes. She said I should not take offence to delayed texts. It read like for future texts. This was on Friday night.

I hope I still can recover.

[Glitters]

You need to be upfront and tell her the way it is, leaving no space for doubt. Hope she gives another chance to you ( if she is a softy , she will! ) but from there on , it will be on you to grab it and nurture or ruin

[Sdives]

You need to be upfront and tell her the way it is, leaving no space for doubt. Hope she gives another chance to you ( if she is a softy , she will! ) but from there on , it will be on you to grab it and nurture or ruin

 

I have. She still texts me back. So the door is open somewhat . I hope it's a good sign.