Lily blue Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Hi I have another question I forgot to ask.... few weeks ago my boyfriend are talking and I ask few things about his Ex girl friend. They dated 2 years and lived together 6 months. He thought she was perfect woman for him but after she moved in he finds things about her he never thought and she became different person....like addicted to prescription pain killers and drinking and she never told him he was a smoker.... She met someone and remarried only 6 months after they broke off and he has been single for 5 years after that because he said he is tired of trying to too hard. He has been asked out by many ladies and from work as well....but he reject them all. He has high paying excutive job $238,000.00 a year and is well off and clean, good looking but very conservative of money too. And the ring is 2.00 ct Marquise solitaire ring in white gold. Anyway, he told me he bought a engagement ring before she moved in but he never showed to her. He forgot about it until I was telling him about my son wants to look for a ring for his girl friend........He say he stil has it and brought it out and told me to sell it and keep the money or he will just toss it in the garbage. I feel so awkward....I took it but why I feel so weird and sad? He talks about we spend our life together and and talks about grand kids and all but he never talks about Marriage. I love him but I don't want a marriage....just live like this boyfriend and girlfriend....we are not young...middle age but we both look very young... Anyway, even knowing I don't want marriage, seeing that ring makes me feel so weird and now it's in my hand..... I know he would throw away if I give it back.... Anyone ever given boyfriends Ex girlfriend or wife's ring before to sell it or do whatever with it? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 So many things are wrong in this story that l don't know where to start. * how absolutely inconsiderate of your boyfriend to A) show you an engagement ring B) and give it to you to dispose of it. * l think he showed you the ring just to brag. The same way he told you his annual earning, definitely just to brag. * lt would infuriate me if my boyfriend did this to me! Who does he think l am to put upon me to discard the ring. Can't he do his dirty job himself? And the part about selling it and keeping the money!! Am l in need of charity??? To accept a ring meant for an ex? *I would give him his ring back. If he wants to throw it away it's his bisiness to do so. * l would be shopping for a new boyfriend. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Wowww we have Mr Show Off here. If you don't want (bad) memories, and don't want him to toss it, just sell the ring and give the money for charity: 2 birds killed with one stone. Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 I honestly dont see an issue he doesnt want the ring hes willing to throw it out because he cares that little for it....tells you to go sell it and keep the money? Wtf are you waiting for ? Go on a shopping spree girl sell that ring!!!! Gosh and I thought your post was gonna be about how someone couldnt let go of their exs ring this is like a dream outcome. Link to post Share on other sites
Samhain Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 I don't know if he's showing off. You mentioned a ring and he remembered the ring he gave her, he probably gave it to you to prove to you that he genuinely forgot and cares nothing for what happens to it. Maybe he did it in a careless way, but I think personally, that he had good intentions at heart. 2 options here, either sell the ring and spend away.. Or tell him .."you bought it, it's your history, you dispose of it" .. The second option would probably be for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Samhain Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 Judging from your other post about the same guy, I'd say this ring was the least of your worries. Link to post Share on other sites
Cherryz Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 Wow, i think thats very disrespectful of him to give u that ring and kind of let you clean up his mess. With the excuse of "keep the money". What do you have to do with the ring? NOTHING! Whatever age, you should know your worth as person and as woman! You shoeldnt have take the ring atall! But get mad at him rigth away and show him the door. WHY YOU TOOK THE RING ANYWAY?? It wasnt nothing like he buyed for you. He sound like he cant relate to people or think how it will be for another. And kind of show off how much money he got by saying to you he will trow it away. And you sound like you want the money so bad and afraid for so many cash to be trow away. Maybe he sees that and treat you this way. You shouldn't care about him and his ring being trow away. But about how you want to be treat by a man. Its now about you. And who make such money? Whats his job anyways?Drug dealer? And if he wanted to trow it away, why does he still have it? Please dont let the money fool you! Know your worth! No healthy real man that really want you brings ex stuff to you to clean it up for him. But will go get the best newest just for you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cherryz Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 Judging from your other post about the same guy, I'd say this ring was the least of your worries. lmao lollll Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 And you sound like you want the money so bad and afraid for so many cash to be trow away. Yes, and that's because HE doesn't want her to work! He wants her to stay home. She moved away from her State to his. She has no network, no family, and he doesn't want her to work. But he throws his ex fiance's engagement ring at her and say 'here get some money out of this for yourself'. Disgusting. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lily blue Posted December 4, 2015 Author Share Posted December 4, 2015 I thank you all. Yes I felt very awkward and sad and it made me feel so small.... Thought to my self WTF.... Yes he bought it for his Ex girlfriend and he said he never propose nor gave it to her and she never saw it but I know it is meant for her regardless. He throw away everything that he ever got from her and reminds of him about her....he said. After she left, he got rid of everything and bought a brand new furniture's and kitchen items they used together.... He just don't ever want to remember or heard about her...he say she was crazy after they moved in together.... I don't think he trying to show off he is not like that thought.....he drives old Saturn car for years and he is not a show off or stuck up guy nor enjoys anything fancy. He never told me how much he makes. When we did taxes together, I saw it. He do not hide anything..he showed me everything he bought and has...he has book that has all the pass word and stuff from his emails to bank and savings accounts and all showed to me and say, I do not want to hide anything from you... Yes he has problem with germs and cleaness. He works for big hospital as senior Excutive CFO and CPA and he has a lot of other responsibilities on top of being top senior Excutive CFO ....he hire and fire people, takes care and manage all the nurses, intense care unit, board of trustees, manage environmental unit....in charge of all management personel. So he is busy man. I think also he is bit confuse about girl friend or employees.....sometimes the way he talks to me like I m his employee and other times...he can be sweet as honey but never raise his voice and I visit his work and office....people respect him and love him and also intimidate by him... I think I am going to sell the ring and give it to animal shelter and homeless. I always give charity to those anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
blueskyday Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 Nooooo. I wouldn't have accepted the ring in the first place. That is his thing to deal with. Bad energy. My ex-husband had a former fiancé's ring (just the diamond). He sold it to buy me a new ring. I saw it once but I never touched it. He did ask me if I wanted the diamond for my own engagement ring. I told him I don't want anything to do with it. I don't take what isn't mine. I'd give it back to him. He's probably thinking of it as an asset to be sold, without any emotional attachment, which is good. But it's just not ethical for you to take the ring and sell it for your own personal gain. You already know this, that's why you feel strange about having the ring. Listen to that feeling. Now if he wants to sell it and spend the proceeds on you, then that's his decision. He would be turning something unfortunate from his past into something good. That can be very empowering. Link to post Share on other sites
blueskyday Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 Let him sell the ring and give it to charity. Like, i said before, it's his business, not yours. You're not his assistant, and you don't do his dirty work. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lily blue Posted December 4, 2015 Author Share Posted December 4, 2015 Maybe you guys are right. I have it in the kitchen drawer but I don't want to look at it or touch it because the way I feel. I m just afraid how he is going to react by me giving back..... And how he feels about me? Get mad or what? I am just too afraid of him and I hide my feelings and emotions from him most of the time. That is why I do whatever he ask without talking back and later on, I feel sad and depressed and cry a lone when he go to work.... It is not the money at all. I never ask or spend his money. Few times he did gave me $40.00 and told me to order something to eat when he works late...I never touched. Anyway, I think I will give back now just afraid and please advise when is good time or how to approach him about giving back? Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 Call your family and get the money to go back in your state. Leave the ring on the kitchen table and go. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
blueskyday Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 (edited) Now we have uncovered the bigger issues: you're afraid of him and you do not feel comfortable sharing your feelings with him. These are not good things for a relationship. You should feel secure and be able to talk to him about anything! Simply return the ring in an envelope. If he's home. hand it to him and tell him, "I think it's your place to do whatever you want with the ring." If he's not home, say it in a note, and leave the envelope. No long explanations are needed. Don't overexplain. In fact, you don't need to explain anything to him. He sounds like a jerk, sweetie. Edited December 5, 2015 by blueskyday Link to post Share on other sites
lilmissjava Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 I am just too afraid of him and I hide my feelings and emotions from him most of the time. That is why I do whatever he ask without talking back and later on, I feel sad and depressed and cry a lone when he go to work.... No one should be afraid of someone they claim to love. Don't hide how you feel and give the ring back. Just tell him "I am sorry, I cannot take this ring" and let him decide what to do with it. He may just be testing you to see if you are a gold digger. That's the first thing that comes to my mind and I would leave the relationship at once, and never look back. Link to post Share on other sites
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