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Men and Online Dating


Karine26

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I just wondered if the men on here can help me with a question about Online Dating. Do you actually use Online Dating to find a serious relationship or are you on there for many casual encounters?

 

Also, when you are into someone do you stop looking online or are you still looking for the Bigger Better Deal, wondering what else is out there?

 

I'm thinking about trying Online Dating but these 2 concerns are stopping me. Not many of my friends have had great Online Dating experiences.

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I did the online dating for the past 9 years following my divorce. I was always looking for exclusive committed relationships and I found 4-5 of them. I was always exclusive within the month and once exclusive I didn't look further.

 

I'm almost 4 years into this latest one, we're living together for a year so I think I'll be off line for a while, maybe another 40 years or so.

 

We're not all looking for hookups. But from what I've been told by countless women is that lots of guys apparently are.

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Stage5Clinger
I just wondered if the men on here can help me with a question about Online Dating. Do you actually use Online Dating to find a serious relationship or are you on there for many casual encounters?

 

Also, when you are into someone do you stop looking online or are you still looking for the Bigger Better Deal, wondering what else is out there?

 

I'm thinking about trying Online Dating but these 2 concerns are stopping me. Not many of my friends have had great Online Dating experiences.

 

I am online dating to find a serious relationship. I don't really like meaningless sex that much.

 

If I'm into someone I'd give up anything for them. I can't wait to give up online dating for someone.

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I agree with Tobin. I'm looking for a relationship, or was. I found someone just a month ago that seems amazing and sincere. Can't predict the future only a month into it, but it's looking good and I'm not looking online anymore (and neither is she).

 

That being said, there are all types on the dating sites. You have to learn how to sort'em and figure out who is sincere and who isn't. And you can't tell by pics or messages. You can surely eliminate a lot that way but when you identify someone you're interested in you still have to get to know them to figure out who they are.

 

In other words, you cannot generalize based on the fact that they're dating online. They cover the full spectrum just like in real life. Buyer beware.

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It depend what sites you are talking about. But my experience is that women are looking for a Relationship or commitment in the near future. At least the 20/30s who somehow missed the whole marriage/kids thing. Those past 30 and separated/divorced might be looking for casual hookups indeed.

 

The adage is that paid dating sites are "better" and more serious than the free ones. From what I gather, Tinder is #1 hookups site.

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Do you actually use Online Dating to find a serious relationship or are you on there for many casual encounters?
I use it for both, depending on what I'm looking for at that specific time.
Also, when you are into someone do you stop looking online or are you still looking for the Bigger Better Deal, wondering what else is out there?
I used to stop looking as soon as I met someone interesting, but that has not worked out well for me. Now, I keep looking until we agree to being exclusive.

I'm thinking about trying Online Dating but these 2 concerns are stopping me. Not many of my friends have had great Online Dating experiences.

Everyone has different experiences. OLD has generally been a painful experience for me, but quite a few of my friends have found long-lasting relationships.
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Stay away from the free sites. Even the paid ones aren't foolproof, but they are a lot better.

 

I screen hard and don't agree to meet a guy unless everything is firing on all cylinders. It is actually pretty rare for me to agree to meet someone... But once I do, it has always resulted in a long term relationship.

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OLD or irl, it's a crap shoot in finding someone who is compatible, attractive to you and fulfills your expectations. When I was dating there was no OLD. The same thing applied, there were losers, players, uggos, criminals, guys just looking for casual, jerks, misleaders, etc. It took awhile to actually find someone to have a relationship with.

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Stay away from the free sites. Even the paid ones aren't foolproof, but they are a lot better.

 

I screen hard and don't agree to meet a guy unless everything is firing on all cylinders. It is actually pretty rare for me to agree to meet someone... But once I do, it has always resulted in a long term relationship.

 

I agree. Yes I will stay away from the free sites. I'm 30 so I'm not sure if guys my age take any site serious but I will try. I was going to try Match.com just bc there were a few girls who said they met good guys on there, even though they didn't work out for other reasons.

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Stage5Clinger
Stay away from the free sites. Even the paid ones aren't foolproof, but they are a lot better.

 

I screen hard and don't agree to meet a guy unless everything is firing on all cylinders. It is actually pretty rare for me to agree to meet someone... But once I do, it has always resulted in a long term relationship.

 

I've tried both and had zero luck on the paid sites. Most people are too cheap to pay in my area so there are very few matches on there. The ones who do pay have wicked high expectations.

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