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Girl with lots of common interests suddenly friend-zoning me?


Forza.Taki

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3 weeks ago at Starbucks, I was approached first by a girl who complimented my choice of clothing. She sat down on my table and we had a casual conversation. When I had to leave, we exchanged numbers. We texted for the next couple days, then we went on a date. (FYI: she is 22, I'm 19)

 

I didn't reveal too much of myself through text because I wanted to save some conversation topics for the actual date itself. As we talked during the date, I realized we had ridiculous amounts of common interests. It almost seemed unrealistic as we liked the same music genre (even had the same exact favorite band), same exact favorite game, and very similar hobbies in general. Though I did not find her physically attractive in the beginning, but all these common interests and her personality made me fall for her. After the date, she texted me saying it was very fun and she wanted to do it again another time.

 

We met up for our second date last Sunday (we both agreed on what we should do). We just got some lunch and went for a nice walk around the trails, then in the evening, we went to my house and watched a movie that she's been waiting to see. And I did not try anything sexual (I'm just not really like that in general). Then I drove her home and gave her a hug.

 

Things weren't really the same after that second date. She had texted me afterwards saying "Thanks for tonight! It was really fun", but ever since that day, she stopped using the term 'Date' and called all our past and possible future meetings as a 'hang out'. Then she went on to say that she's so glad that she met a 'friend' like me with so many common interests.

 

I can blatantly feel the sudden 'friend-zoning' and I don't know what to do about it. I tried to think back of any mistakes I could've made, and it could be the fact that I never complimented her looks, or maybe that I didn't initiate anything sexual during the movie. Other than that, I kept the mood as romantic as possible and we had great chemistry. I don't see why she all the sudden decided to friend zone me. What should I do? I have never met a girl with so many mutual interests and I do not want to let this opportunity slip away.

 

All advice are greatly appreciated! Thanks beforehand :)

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todreaminblue

I think the best thing to do is state how you feel for all you know she might have classed your dates as hang outs now because she doesnt feel that you are interested.....you dont have to have sex to show interest or even imply sex is going to happen while dating if you just say....hey i am interested in more than friendship and when you discuss "hanging out"make sure you use the word date and see and then be told if the feelings are mutual...if she isnt into you....she should or will most likely be open and reply honestly as you have been...that way no games.....no blame.....best wishes...deb

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StocksnBlondes

Maybe she feels you "friendzoned" her by not making the moves. Ask her out on a proper date and go for handholding while walking from car to restaurant or leaning in to kiss her at the end ...whatever! Just go for it. What do you have to lose? Do not worry about being rejected!!!! At least you tried.

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If a woman goes to your house forma movie and you don't makema move she thinks you don't like her and consider it rejection.

As a general rule women don't take rejection very well and can friendzone you to cope with that rejection.

Some of the hotter ones may even loose all respect for you and try to use you in order to heal their damaged self esteem.

 

My personal experience, every time and I mean every time I had a woman at my house for a movie and I didn't make a move, they went cold on me.

But, when I did make the move, very few rejected my advances.

 

I think your done.

I'll be surprised if she does anything with you again.

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If a woman goes to your house forma movie and you don't makema move she thinks you don't like her and consider it rejection.

As a general rule women don't take rejection very well and can friendzone you to cope with that rejection.

Some of the hotter ones may even loose all respect for you and try to use you in order to heal their damaged self esteem.

 

My personal experience, every time and I mean every time I had a woman at my house for a movie and I didn't make a move, they went cold on me.

But, when I did make the move, very few rejected my advances.

 

I think your done.

I'll be surprised if she does anything with you again.

 

I think you're right.

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No consolation but could have been worse, she could have rejected you as a friend too.

 

I'd say be friends and enjoy being her friend.

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you got back burnered, she moved another guy she is seeing into your spot, it's the you snooze you lose scenario playing out by not making a move on her when you should have.

 

how do you feel about it is what you do about it, me I would pull way back and go date another and if she comes to you then game on...

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how do you feel about it is what you do about it, me I would pull way back and go date another and if she comes to you then game on...

 

With due respect this logic is baffling, sometimes I think the people here think finding a date is as easy as saying 1, 2, 3.

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With due respect this logic is baffling, sometimes I think the people here think finding a date is as easy as saying 1, 2, 3.

 

Well... trying to date someone after you have been friendzoned is like trying to shovel sand against the tide...

 

So you have a choice, go find another or spend your time on someone who has another guy in her sights, she might give another chance but only after the next guy peters out... then you have you get OUT of the friendzone.. not so easy...

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Easy.....you didn't try anything, or show your sexual desire for her (any heavy flirting??). From a female's perspective, it makes you look like you don't have confidence in yourself to do so. It's like a switch, it turns off instantly.

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Well... trying to date someone after you have been friendzoned is like trying to shovel sand against the tide...

 

So you have a choice, go find another or spend your time on someone who has another guy in her sights, she might give another chance but only after the next guy peters out... then you have you get OUT of the friendzone.. not so easy...

 

My point still stands, you make it sound like finding dates is very simple when it isn't.

 

 

I'd rather have a great friend who I get along well with than spending hours trying to find a date and then finding I have nothing in common with the people.

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This doesn't sound like you're absolutely friend zoned.

She's not a mind reader, if you've tried making no moves then you probably made her think you're not into her.

 

Just ask her on a real date and see if she will let you kiss her. It's very simple...

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I'd rather have a great friend who I get along well with than spending hours trying to find a date and then finding I have nothing in common with the people.

 

mmm.. okay....:laugh:

 

Why date then ?

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mmm.. okay....:laugh:

 

Why date then ?

 

Cynically I'd rather have an exceptional friend than a date I don't want or spending time searching and searching and just being rejected. Eventually you learn life isn't the roses you thought it would be and that yellow brick road is missing many bricks.

 

 

To the OP, being her friend and try build on that, if you it doesn't work you still have a great friend.

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3 weeks ago at Starbucks, I was approached first by a girl who complimented my choice of clothing. She sat down on my table and we had a casual conversation. When I had to leave, we exchanged numbers. We texted for the next couple days, then we went on a date. (FYI: she is 22, I'm 19)

 

I didn't reveal too much of myself through text because I wanted to save some conversation topics for the actual date itself. As we talked during the date, I realized we had ridiculous amounts of common interests. It almost seemed unrealistic as we liked the same music genre (even had the same exact favorite band), same exact favorite game, and very similar hobbies in general. Though I did not find her physically attractive in the beginning, but all these common interests and her personality made me fall for her. After the date, she texted me saying it was very fun and she wanted to do it again another time.

 

We met up for our second date last Sunday (we both agreed on what we should do). We just got some lunch and went for a nice walk around the trails, then in the evening, we went to my house and watched a movie that she's been waiting to see.And I did not try anything sexual (I'm just not really like that in general). Then I drove her home and gave her a hug.

 

Things weren't really the same after that second date. She had texted me afterwards saying "Thanks for tonight! It was really fun", but ever since that day, she stopped using the term 'Date' and called all our past and possible future meetings as a 'hang out'. Then she went on to say that she's so glad that she met a 'friend' like me with so many common interests.

 

I can blatantly feel the sudden 'friend-zoning' and I don't know what to do about it. I tried to think back of any mistakes I could've made, and it could be the fact that I never complimented her looks, or maybe that I didn't initiate anything sexual during the movie. Other than that, I kept the mood as romantic as possible and we had great chemistry. I don't see why she all the sudden decided to friend zone me. What should I do? I have never met a girl with so many mutual interests and I do not want to let this opportunity slip away.

 

All advice are greatly appreciated! Thanks beforehand :)

 

You can't really complain about being "friendzoned" when you have done nothing to move things in the direction of romance. You seem to think that if you just hide your interest, and act avoidant or passive that things will happen on their own, somehow. That's a very non-masculine mindset. That said, I don't think all is lost. You've got a girl who is single and who likes to spend time with you one on one. Sounds like the ingredients are there. You just need to work up some courage and be more direct about taking things to the next level with her.

Edited by oberkeat
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