JasmineJones Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 For those of you with a spouse or SO, when did you realise this person was The One? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 There's no such thing. There's 'the one right now', but as for THE one, or soulmates, they're wishful thinking. Having been married 3 times, each one was absolutely, definitely, without question or argument, "The One". no doubts. Guaranteed. And life rolls on..... 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JasmineJones Posted October 8, 2015 Author Share Posted October 8, 2015 There's no such thing. There's 'the one right now', but as for THE one, or soulmates, they're wishful thinking. Having been married 3 times, each one was absolutely, definitely, without question or argument, "The One". no doubts. Guaranteed. And life rolls on..... In your opinion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RightThere Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 For those of you with a spouse or SO, when did you realise this person was The One? She showed up to our first date and made me laugh. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 In your opinion. Not just mine. How about you ask every single one of the people who come onto this forum, heartbroken, because their "The One" dumped them? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 I've had at least six guys I thought was "The One." I'm with Tara.... There is no such thing. The heart is a resilient muscle which can love, be broken or hurt, heal, and love again. I am married now for a second time - at the age of 50 - and this "One" will be the last "One" for the rest of my life, but before him, there were several. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 i thought my ex was the one the only one for me......i made many sacrifices and worked really hard to keep believing he was the one....... for me now the one i am eventually with if he is right for me...will treat me with respect appreciate what i do and who i am and i will be and do the same for him...that will make him the one i am meant to be with.......he will work as hard as i would to make sure....that both of us have the one.....i think being "the one"...takes a lot of work and effort....equally......and doesnt hav ea lot to do with fireworks and chemistry or even romance...but m0ore than those things are work effort compromise and a steel backbone........deb Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 I believe in the electricity and immediate chemistry in addition with a strage sense of familiarity and comfort with a person who fast becomes your best friend. Usually, feeling head over heels and " love crazy" is based on the instability and nervousness factor. ..... With the ONE, the very very few couples I know who trul fell MADLY in love and are still together, they all felt a spark and intense passion andphysical as well as personal chemistry, in COMBINATION with an immense sense of comfort. This is MY opinion of " The One" based on who I am and the couples whos relationships I most want to emulate. My mum knew dad was " The One" because they felt the instant spark and butterflies whilst at the same time, fast becomingthe best of friends. .. While I am a huge believer in connections, magic chemistry and the wow factor, most people just need the 10/10 compatability and non intense attraction that they rather build. I go for intense chemistry AND intense compatability and a huuuuuge ease with which you feel strangly comfortable and familiar. People call my " The One" opinion a fairy-tale. I know it happens because I have witnessed it and am currently living it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 In short, " The One " = your absolute best friend who you also have electrifying chemistry and passionate sex with. This is extremely rare however, to find, so most people consider " The One " the person they admire and respect and love havng around the most in absense of the mond blowing chemistry ( although sex still has to be enjoyable, it's just not important to most people that the sex with " The One " is the most intense and best that they have had) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 There is no such thing as The One. There are billions of people on the planet. The idea that only one of them is your mate is statistically ridiculous. My mother always told me I'd know when I met The One. In grad school, I met a guy & got an electric shock up my arm when he shook my hand the 1st time. I thought OMG I just met my future husband. I stayed with him for over 10 years & put up with all sorts of crap in a basically dysfunctional relationship because I thought my mother & the universe couldn't be wrong. They were! When I met DH I honestly initially thought he'd be a fun dalliance & I wasn't looking for anything serious. Eventually I came to appreciate his steadfastness & calm demeanor. That's when I realized he would make a great husband. It wasn't an instant think like with the guy above, although there was an instant attraction. The idea that I wanted to marry him came slowly. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
cessna Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 In your opinion. Not really. 'The one' would point to some sort of fate and fate doesn't exist because there is zero proof of it existing. Just because you believe in someone doesn't make it true. Look at religion for example. Billions of people believe in a God without a single shred of evidence. If you believe in 'the one' I'm assuming you also believe in pink unicorns and pixies? Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 If you have to ask the question then perhaps he's not "the one". Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 I am The One. Don't you look no further, girl .... The One - Prince Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 OP, I am going to assume that what you meant was - when did you know you wanted to be with the one you are with? Just thought I would clarify so we could quit arguing the semantics of the term "the one".... With my ex, I just....loved him. We had so much in common. It seemed our life goals were common. He just seemed "right." Of course, I was not operating with all the info (we rarely are), but that was it for me then. With my most recent relationship, it was that instant connection and irresistible draw......which I have found is not the most reliable measuring device Link to post Share on other sites
Siquijor Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 "The One" is the person you fall in love with, that makes you blissfully happy, and where only death will end it all. Link to post Share on other sites
Siquijor Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Having been married 3 times, each one was absolutely, definitely, without question or argument, "The One". no doubts. Guaranteed. And they're now known as "The Three" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 And they're now known as "The Three" :laugh: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MrGray25 Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 I've had at least six guys I thought was "The One." I'm with Tara.... There is no such thing. The heart is a resilient muscle which can love, be broken or hurt, heal, and love again. I am married now for a second time - at the age of 50 - and this "One" will be the last "One" for the rest of my life, but before him, there were several. Why do you not learn? Link to post Share on other sites
Shanex Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 There's no such thing. There's 'the one right now', but as for THE one, or soulmates, they're wishful thinking. Having been married 3 times, each one was absolutely, definitely, without question or argument, "The One". no doubts. Guaranteed. And life rolls on..... Nailed it. Ironically it was often those I thought were the one who dumped me. I was also the dumper, obviously with ladies who werent "the one". Link to post Share on other sites
Stage5Clinger Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Hopeless romantic chiming in to say I believe in "The One". Finding them is the trouble. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Why do you not learn? because humans are variable, changeable and unpredictable. Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Until one is living a life that is truly authentic, or as close to authentic as possible, there is no chance of meeting the one, keeping in mind that they must be also living an authentic life. Most of the time this doesn't even happen until later in life when people stop caring what others think. But I do think it is possible to find someone that gets the true you and who you get at the same time. Rare, but possible. Link to post Share on other sites
deadelvis Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 (edited) Ok. I'm going out on a limb here... bear with me. So lets first make the assumption that time is not really a linear path from birth to death, but rather a seemingly infinite and limitless plane which extends far into the past and the future, much further than we will ever experience within our lifetimes. Ok? Fair assumption? Good. Ok. So now lets assume that our perception of time is (mostly) defined by what we experience as the "present moment" and memories of the past. Our physical bodies are 3 dimensional and move in a linear motion along a 2 dimensional axis of time, starting with birth and ending with death. Still follow? Ok. Good. Now the tricky part. Lets assume that time itself is not a direct line from point A to point B. We merely experience it as such because we are confined to our physical bodies. When we are no longer confined by our physical bodies (dead) then it seems pretty safe to assume we will no longer be confined to experiencing time in this 2 dimensional manner. Imagine our perception of time as walking through a twisting labyrinth. We see the ground beneath us and the walls around us, but we cannot see the entire maze, only the section we are standing in. Now think of being dead as being in a helicopter looking down on the labyrinth, seeing every twist and turn of the maze, and even seeing your own footprints in the dirt. Once you are free from the limitations of your physical body (the walls of the maze) you can see the entire path (your life) at once and the concept of past, present and future are nothing more than an abstraction we use to make our own "present moment" into something more tangible... Still with me? See where I'm headed with this? So here's where it comes together. You are no more "here and now" than you are "way back then" or "far from now". You are just as much the child nursing from your mothers breast or the old person lying on their deathbed. Your physical body forces you to experience "the present" as only one blip on the radar, but really, we're always everywhere we've ever been, and everywhere we ever will go. So if you can subscribe to all these assumptions... then what does that mean? Well... call if fate if you must, but I prefer to think of it as free will, the freedom to make choices we made in the past, the freedom we have to make choices in the present, and the freedom we have to make choices in the future. I may not remember the future, but that doesn't make it more or less tangible than the past. The past is just as much of an abstraction as the future. What if... when you meet someone who plays a major part in your life, and you feel that instant chemistry, what you are actually experiencing is remembering the future. You are remembering the time you shared with this person, even though from our node of reference it hasn't happened yet? Edited October 9, 2015 by deadelvis Link to post Share on other sites
Celeste.Carol Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Jasmine, not being smart, but do you actually like this guy? I sense doubt but enthusiasm at the same time, which is quite strange. You mentioned he was a 4 and you are a 9, now a 4 is great if you are really feeling all this, but it is quite low and not even your average pertaining to looks. Not that any of this matters. I do not even know what a 4 is, Bill Gates?, Sherman Williams, ? I just know if I was with the one, in love, and he was texting me like crazy, and was the real thing, I would not be on here asking so many questions?!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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