Jump to content

I feel like cancelling dinner date tonight


Gaeta

Recommended Posts

Last May I had dinner with a man who seems to be nothing but a nice gentleman. He's 51, professional, introverted, works a couple of streets away from my office so we went to dinner after work one day. After dinner we walked downtown to different events, it was quite enjoyable. We parted around 10 pm, kissed and he said 'I'm calling you tomorrow'.

 

Tomorrow came and nothing.

 

An entire week went by and nothing.

 

After a week I decided to send him a casual text and no reply. I deleted his number and went on with my life.

 

A couple of days ago he sees me on a dating site. He sent me a message talking about how I ignored him after our dinner. We exchanged a few messages he's under the impression I ignored him, I am standing by my story that he is the one who ignored me.

 

One thing lead to another and he invited me to to go eat again today after work.

 

At the time I felt 'oh ok' but this morning I woke up with a big 'MEH'. Am I really gonna believe his story?

Link to post
Share on other sites
MovingOnIsHard
Last May I had dinner with a man who seems to be nothing but a nice gentleman. He's 51, professional, introverted, works a couple of streets away from my office so we went to dinner after work one day. After dinner we walked downtown to different events, it was quite enjoyable. We parted around 10 pm, kissed and he said 'I'm calling you tomorrow'.

 

Tomorrow came and nothing.

 

An entire week went by and nothing.

 

After a week I decided to send him a casual text and no reply. I deleted his number and went on with my life.

 

A couple of days ago he sees me on a dating site. He sent me a message talking about how I ignored him after our dinner. We exchanged a few messages he's under the impression I ignored him, I am standing by my story that he is the one who ignored me.

 

One thing lead to another and he invited me to to go eat again today after work.

 

At the time I felt 'oh ok' but this morning I woke up with a big 'MEH'. Am I really gonna believe his story?

 

 

Since this man ignored you and even twisted the facts around, you should definitely bail on him tonight. This guy is playing games and probably seeing many women.

  • Like 7
Link to post
Share on other sites
Last May I had dinner with a man who seems to be nothing but a nice gentleman. He's 51, professional, introverted, works a couple of streets away from my office so we went to dinner after work one day. After dinner we walked downtown to different events, it was quite enjoyable. We parted around 10 pm, kissed and he said 'I'm calling you tomorrow'.

 

Tomorrow came and nothing.

 

An entire week went by and nothing.

 

After a week I decided to send him a casual text and no reply. I deleted his number and went on with my life.

 

A couple of days ago he sees me on a dating site. He sent me a message talking about how I ignored him after our dinner. We exchanged a few messages he's under the impression I ignored him, I am standing by my story that he is the one who ignored me.

 

One thing lead to another and he invited me to to go eat again today after work.

 

At the time I felt 'oh ok' but this morning I woke up with a big 'MEH'. Am I really gonna believe his story?

 

Tomorrow came and nothing.

An entire week went by and nothing.

 

After a week I decided to send him a casual text -- Why would you contact a man who told you he would call and didn't even after a week? Most of us here tell a woman not to reach out to a guy at all after the first few dates except to thank him for the date and that you had a great time and maybe say "I'd like to do it again".

 

All you did by reaching out to him after a week, is let him know you"d probably be a good "standby". So now, he got reminded of your existence, maybe going through a "dry spell" so why not try that one again.

 

You accepted the date. Go on the date, listen to his story and decide whether he's sincere and then observe whether he's dating you properly from this point on. This may have been simply a "misunderstanding" or a matter of poor communication, but this time, ff he doesn't keep in good contact, you block him and move on. And, don't sleep with him no matter what until he's demonstrated a sincere interest in you.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

I am not going on a date I don't want to JUST cause I said yes previously.

 

I sent him a message that I slept on it and decided to not pursue and wished him only the best.

 

ETA: I have to stop giving chances to these morons. I am glad I stopped it now and not see him another 2-3 times than came to the same conclusion anyway.

  • Like 9
Link to post
Share on other sites

I know texts, emails, and voicemails occasionally get lost in cyberspace. In fact, just this past week I had to call my cell carrier, one that boasts how superior they are, and the tech support agent assisted me with a number of network resets bc three people had left voicemail messages - one of those being my husband while I was out of town - and I didn't get the messages. Low and behold a WEEK later, all three VM's came thru at the same time. Hubs was with me when the notification came thru. We looked at each other and said, "Really?" Also, I didn't get the email notifications I usually receive. Knock on wood, since the resets, I have gotten my messages, etc. Btw, phone calls were never affected.

 

But, a cyber glitch is clearly not the case with this guy. One, had he initiated contact, you would have known and replied. (And, let's give him the benefit of the doubt, say there was an issue, he didn't try very hard.) Two, you reached out to him and never received a reply. He is full of crap. Rather than own his mistake, he twisted things around to make it appear as though you dropped the ball.

 

I've made plenty of mistakes, heck, we all have. But when you do, you own up to them, and if you are sincere, you try to make amends in a timely manner and move forward. This guy has done none of that! I'd cancel, but if you want to see him, go for it. Just don't expect anything in the morning, or the morning after that... You deserve better that the likes of a man who dropped the ball and them spun things around and placed blame on you. He's obviously good at manipulating ppl.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
I am not going on a date I don't want to JUST cause I said yes previously.

 

I sent him a message that I slept on it and decided to not pursue and wished him only the best.

 

ETA: I have to stop giving chances to these morons. I am glad I stopped it now and not see him another 2-3 times than came to the same conclusion anyway.

 

You did the right thing in trusting your feelings.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

IMO, good decision, not because anyone here is bad but because you're respecting how you feel and gave plenty of notice. One door closes, another opens. That's how life goes.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

 

I sent him a message that I slept on it and decided to not pursue and wished him only the best.

 

 

He replied to my text: Good idea

 

lol

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites

ETA: I have to stop giving chances to these morons. I am glad I stopped it now and not see him another 2-3 times than came to the same conclusion anyway.

 

This is the best thing I have seen you write.

 

Good on you Gaeta!

 

About time these guys learnt how to behave. Seriously you would have thought their mothers would have taught them...

 

Do not ever do anything you don't want to.

 

You do not need an "excuse". You do not need to apologies. If you do not feel 100% comfortable do not do it!

 

So glad you are sticking up for yourself.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
LoveRefreshed

In this case Gaeta, I am all about calling his man out for what he is. Sociopathic. People who blame others for everything. Good dodge.

Link to post
Share on other sites

He thought you should chase after him after the first date. Because you didn't, "you were ignoring him." But he wasn't ignoring you when he outright didn't respond to your contact. Yeah. Right. :rolleyes:

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
I am not going on a date I don't want to JUST cause I said yes previously.

 

I sent him a message that I slept on it and decided to not pursue and wished him only the best.

 

ETA: I have to stop giving chances to these morons. I am glad I stopped it now and not see him another 2-3 times than came to the same conclusion anyway.

 

 

Good move. Listen to your gut on this.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...