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Was I ghosted?


elle_baby

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Met a guy on Tinder last week. Non stop texts, calls, photos, date in person on Fri. His work schedule was changed and instead of rescheduling took 2 trains to come and see me at work so that we could still have a “date” however brief. It was so great, that he asked me to ride with him to work so we could keep talking and we continued contact thru the evening. He says wonderful things and wants to visit me the next day, and both we delete our Tinder profiles. I live 70 min. away. Next day he says he cant come due to his roommates leaving unexpectedly and he has to take care of their dog. He begs to come Sunday and says to not take the cancel as him not being interested, he really feels we are meant for each other, yada yada. He was going to check train times and call back after walking the dog. It’s Wed and I’m still waiting for the call. Texts I send just say delivered, no profile on tinder, called cell once it just rang. I know where he works and other details but not his last name. Realizing now he actually gave far more details than I did, not intentionally on my part just caught up in the moment of it all and assumed I would be seeing him more but if he lost his phone I guess it would be difficult to find out how to reach me without having a record of the #. What happened? Was I ghosted?

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ExpatInItaly

Maybe he's not exactly single after all. You're a virtual stranger to him and he thinks you're meant for each other? This guy is full of malarkey. You don't even know his last name.

 

I'd continue dating others.

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No I didn't put out. He kissed my cheek when we left on Friday but that was the only overt physical contact we made. When I looked on Tinder Saturday afternoon it said he had be inactive since the time period the night before when we were trying to disable/delete the profiles. He said it wasn't working when he tried deleted the profile on his phone and he said he was going to do it when he got home from work (Saturday morning). When I looked again on Monday the match was gone entirely so I don't know if he's on there or not.

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wow okay. well all noted. but blocking my number and call right after saying i'm going to walk the dog and will call back in a little bit with train times? anything is possible but if he was seeing other people why would he be introducing me to his boss and coworkers which he did when we last saw each other.

 

appreciate all the advice!!!

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wow okay. well all noted. but blocking my number and call right after saying i'm going to walk the dog and will call back in a little bit with train times? anything is possible but if he was seeing other people why would he be introducing me to his boss and coworkers which he did when we last saw each other.

 

appreciate all the advice!!!

 

It's the very first time you come across a man like him and the net is full of them. I had it done to me several times. One minute I am a goddess to them and the second minute they're POOF gone! Only them know why. If you want a peace of mind and stop wondering just block your number and call to see if he picks up.

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Well I'm speechless. I called and blocked my number and lo and behold, he answered.

 

 

Admittedly stunned and near tears but time heals. Naturally I want an explanation but I just hung up.

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Perhaps he is lying in some gutter somewhere calling your name.

 

 

Or in some hospital with a coma. LOL

 

 

Who knows!!

 

 

You had one date, you should not be all that invested anyway.

 

 

Yes I would say you've been ghosted. However, he may resurrect at some point and become a real person again and contact you.

 

 

Happens all the time. Take it all with a grain of salt....

 

 

Get back on Tinder and start dating other guys.

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Well I'm speechless. I called and blocked my number and lo and behold, he answered.

 

 

Admittedly stunned and near tears but time heals. Naturally I want an explanation but I just hung up.

 

sowwy ...:-(

 

It's still possible he lost his contacts list. You should have said hello and see what he had to say.

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Gosh I'm so sorry.. it's almost impossible to believe there really are such cowardly douchebags out there and it's not all just myth and fiction.. until you actually meet one. :/

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Well I'm speechless. I called and blocked my number and lo and behold, he answered.

 

 

Admittedly stunned and near tears but time heals. Naturally I want an explanation but I just hung up.

 

Oooh, that sucks. So sorry that happened.

 

Well, since you know that he's not lying dead in a ditch, what explanation is going to satisfy being ghosted like that? I'd venture to say that his roommate is actually his girlfriend who doesn't know he's got a profile on Tinder.

 

You could text him and let him know that you just called and he picked up, which means he's avoiding, so you'll help him out on that end. Then block him from contacting you and restart your Tinder. Next!

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Well I'm speechless. I called and blocked my number and lo and behold, he answered.

 

 

Admittedly stunned and near tears but time heals. Naturally I want an explanation but I just hung up.

 

This is a pretty awful feeling, especially with the preceding disappearance. Some people have no class.

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After reading so many of these stories of women who meet men on-line, I have come to the conclusion that most (NOT all) men you meet on line are full of crap. To be fair, many women are too...but since this thread is about men, I am referring to men.

 

 

Any man who showers a woman with compliments on the first meet/date is full of crap. They don't even mean it half the time, it's just a strategy to get her to have sex. Ugh. My "player" brother told me it's the oldest trick in the book to get a woman into bed....and that it works in most cases, because women "eat that shyt up." His exact words.

 

 

Any man who comes on super strong calling/texting constantly, introducing you to friends, family, etc. BEFORE he has gotten a chance to really know you (which takes weeks or even months), is more intrigued with the "fantasy" of you than the "actual REAL" you.

 

 

Men who start out fast will disappear just as fast....so beware the fast-moving man.

 

 

All from my darling player brother who is also a HUGE commitment phobe!

 

 

I am sorry elle...yeah it sucks. But hopefully lesson learned. ((big virtual hug))

Edited by katiegrl
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wow okay. well all noted. but blocking my number and call right after saying i'm going to walk the dog and will call back in a little bit with train times? anything is possible but if he was seeing other people why would he be introducing me to his boss and coworkers which he did when we last saw each other.

 

appreciate all the advice!!!

 

Oh paleeze. I'm sorry to be harsh here, but a guy you just met from Tinder who flakes on you and then wants to come see you at your PLACE the next day and then doesn't follow through with that even? He didn't lose his phone. This guy is too lazy to even come and get laid.

 

And, just because he brought you to his job and met his boss, doesn't mean anything at all. If anything, he's too dumb to realize that bringing a stranger to his place of work the first time he met her and then pissing her off, might leave him open to a crazy stalker.

 

And from an OLD site, you don't have a "date" the first time you meet. You have a short meet up over coffee or drinks just to confirm that they are who they say they are and whether or not there is enough interest to schedule a real date. You bring your own car and leave separately. You don't get into cars with strangers. That's dangerous.

 

This is not ghosting. Ghosting is what occurs after you've been seeing them for a couple of dates or so. Otherwise, it's just that they weren't interested enough to follow through to begin with.

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