havocser Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Hey all, so I'm going to try make this quick; my ex boyfriend cheated on me for the last year of our three year relationship and it cut very very deep once I found out and he continued to try make the relationship work while he had a relationship going with the other girl, who knew about me but I didn't know their relationship had continued on. Anyways, that went on for about another 6 months until I finally walked away, it was a very emotionally abusive relationship and I had a hard time letting go as I was so manipulated. I stayed single for two years after that and have recently entered into a new relationship. We saw eachother for a couple months and have been officially dating for the past month. My ex and I have a child together and shared custody so my new boyfriend knows of how things ended but has never actually seen the nasty side of things as my ex and I are friends now and have a very amicable co parenting relationship. I've never worried about my new boyfriend cheating before nor have I said anything to him in any way about it but last night I had two dreams that he was cheating on me and it's left me with an uneasy feeling in my stomach, especially since it's so soon in the relationship. I know he's not but now I have it stuck in my head that it could happen again. I know it's insecurity from my ex that has me feeling like this and I wish I would have never had the dreams. But now I know I need to do something about it because I don't want to become that crazy girl who's always accusing her perfectly loyal boyfriend of cheating. Has anyone gone through this before? How did you overcome it? Link to post Share on other sites
babycakees Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 I was in one relationship where I was cheated on repeatedly. It really took a toll on my confidence and self esteem. The next guy I dated, I was completely upfront about that relationship and my trust issues from the beginning. I couldn't have dated (at that time) a better guy. He was completely understanding and patient with me. Once I was in the relationship for awhile, I never once thought he was cheating on me. Communication is always good in relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Rewan Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 I'm sorry to hear that you're going through so much emotional distress. I can understand what it is like because I have experienced similar feelings before. :S Unfortunately, the best you can do is rely on your inner strength. When you feel the feelings coming on, remind yourself that this man is not your ex. Ask yourself if there is anything that has led you to believe he has been anything less than honest or that he is currently dishonest. Begin asking yourself if your fear is legitimately justified. Most often, I find that the answers will point me in the direction that I am being fearful for nothing. But I will say this.. If he has been honest with you always and has not strayed, trust is of the utmost importance. :S So, whatever you do, please remember that questioning him and/or suggesting to him that his feelings for you or his want for you is anything less than the truth is to suggest that you're calling him a liar. In the worst case scenario where you feel as though you're about to mention it to him, remember that. Hopefully, knowing that will help refrain you from making a mistake. I wish there was a sure way to help get you through, but a lot of it is just remembering what you have and what this relationship is worth to you.. Remembering the good times. :S I'm sorry. I wish I could help more..hope this helps. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 understand that a dream is your psyche's way of resolving, through the unconscious, what you will not resolve while conscious. It has absolutely nothing to do with your new boyfriend or anything about him: it has to do with the deep layers of conflict that you have not gotten to. I've been broken up from my ex for 5 years now and I still have dreams about the break up and him. My dreams now revolve around me seeing him, but avoiding him because I don't want to deal with him or talk to him. All you can do is be honest with your new guy about what happened and how hyper-sensitive you are to any inconsistencies in behavior or talk. It could also be that it's too soon for you to be in another relationship and this is your psyche's way of telling you that you jumped back into the fire too soon. Link to post Share on other sites
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