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Girl has suddenly stopped responding


Blobfather

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So I met this girl on an online dating website. She lives overseas. I normally don't bother messaging people overseas but we really hit It off. We exchanged numbers and then everyday over 5 weeks we texted and sent voice ntes. We talked about a lot of deep stuff and she said she had told me things she had never told anyone else. She also said a lot of positive things which seemed like things were heading in the right direction. Then she just stopped responding. She sent me a really long message about her day and saying she would text me the next day. She also said that she will find it hard to speak as often due to work, however she does miss talking to me. She said that she was making sure she had a mobile so that we could talk when she was away. I sent her a message back the next day but she hasn't even read it. I can see she has been online. I am finding this very confusing. especially as she was talking about how we were going to talk over the phone when she goes away to do charity work. It has been four days now and she has not read my messages or responded. I'm quite hurt and surprised. I sent her another text asking her if she was still alive (in a joking way) but she hasn't read that either. What should I do?

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mystikmind2005

Sometimes when you are lonely, it is nice to talk to someone overseas, but as soon as you find a local prospect, its done.

 

Either that or she/he realized their not getting any money/green card out of you and moved on..... people from overseas suddenly stopping communication, this is a classic sign of a scammer, sorry.

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I don't believe she was a scammer, she never asked for money. Plus she told me she would never date someone from her own country.. really felt let down. Especially the lack of explanation. Not a nice thing to do.

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Forget about her and move on. Realistically it was never going to work anyway. She's in another country and unless you had reason to be going there soon, where exactly was this going to go?

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True, but we were planning on visiting each other in the next couple of months. This is what I would have thought a month ago, but I allowed myself to get attached. Silly really.

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Fleur de cactus

Being outside your country does not mean there is not chance to meet. You can travel there or she can come to visit you. My only question is, how do you know you were talking to a girl? How do you know it was not a man behind a woman's picture? if you never skype or facetime? Also, online scammers use this language" I am traveling, I am going away for work. They like to use charitable reason to convince you that they are nice people"

 

Now think about the last conversation you had. What kind of information you give her and what questions she asked you, you can then find the reasons she may stop responding and is online dating other people.

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We sent voice notes to each other,plus we are friends on Facebook. Plus I have seen the website of her organisation. I don't believe she was a scammer. I was very weary of this at first. The last text she told me about her day, and plans for the next day and then said she would text me the next day to let me know when she was flying. That's the last I heard of her.

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What also perplexes me is that she explained she was focusing on her company and wouldn't be in touch as much but then made the point to tell me she misses speaking to me twice. She is from North America.

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mystikmind2005
What also perplexes me is that she explained she was focusing on her company and wouldn't be in touch as much but then made the point to tell me she misses speaking to me twice. She is from North America.

 

I was doing online dating this year, it is how i met my current girlfriend.... but before that, i was contacted by a number of women, all from North America, all turned out to be scammers.

 

It was strange, they all mentioned Ghana at some point in the conversation and as it happens, i knew a guy from Ghana, and as soon as i told them this, they vanish!

 

But anyway, it is of no real benefit now to suspect your one is a scammer, may as well believe the best possible thing - that she was getting to close to you and decided she had to break it off to protect her heart :)

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There is no way she was a scammer, trust me on this one. Out of curiosity how long did you speak to them for before they disappeared?

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ExpatInItaly

She probably met someone closer to home. She can say all she wants that she would never date anyone from her own country, but the reality is that if a good prospect came along, she'd likely go for it. Why wouldn't she?

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Yeah you are probably right, I can't really see any other explanation. Just to so cold like that overnight.

 

 

Do you think I should ask her? Say in a weeks time?

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mystikmind2005
There is no way she was a scammer, trust me on this one. Out of curiosity how long did you speak to them for before they disappeared?

 

all of 10 minutes! But anyway, like i said, may as well believe the best possible thing.

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well that's the thing, we spoke for 5 weeks every day, about a lot of deep stuff too. I have spoken to scammers too and it is very easy to see through it. I'm sorry if I'm going on, but I'm just very confused how anyone could just drop someone completely like she has. Especially as she was talking about future things right up until she stopped contact. She even mentioned about doing some travelling together when we met. I just find it odd.

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OP, it's cruel and disrespectful to disappear without an explanation. Be grateful that this kind of person is out of your life. It's not a way to be treat someone you have been communicating with for 5 weeks. It's ok to feel hurt but you got to move on.

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I actually never thought I would get in this situation in terms of long distance things. At first I thought this is silly, she lives on the other side of the world, but with the daily messaging and texting I became attached If she had actually just messaged me with an explanation instead of just disappearing I would feel a lot better about it. I hate the not knowing, plus I thought she was someone who would at least give me that respect. Oh well rant over.

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