Possibly heading down the "lets be friends" path...not really what I want!

[mr_roggger]

Over the last few months I've been out on a couple of dates with girls (lack of time for more I'm afraid) which didn't go very far. For the last month or so however I've had more free time and have decided that I would like to devote some of that to relationships.

Last month I met up with a girl who’s just (October) come to my uni who I've chatted with online since then. The first time we met she came round to my place and we chilled, chatted loads, watched some TV, had a few drinks and basically got on really well. A week or so after that we went grocery shopping together (sounds strange, but I thought it good as it was a different activity lol-great for getting to know more about her), and I went back to hers for the evening, again chatted etc. Wednesday I asked her if she would like to come keep me company on a 4 hour drive I had to do, and she immediately said yes and rearranged her schedule around me-great! Tonight she came round to mine for dinner, but as you can guess all is not as I had planned, hence I'm here writing this rather than tucked up in bed with her lol! We had a good time, got to know each other even better, all the usual bonding stuff. She left on good terms, I wasn't going to try and get her to stay and appear needy!

Basically we have a really good time together whenever we meet, and are always happy with each other. I am pretty sure she likes me and sees me as potential relationship material, but I am so worried that the way things are going I'm just gonna fall into the friendship category; something which would be good, but it's not really what I want, I want more than friends.

Now I know what you are all thinking, go ahead and make the first move etc. etc., but I always have reservations about this as I am quite afraid of rejection! (Yes, I know move on if you are rejected, and I usually do, but this girl is far better than the "norm" of girls I meet)!

Do you think she is interested in me, I think most of these are positive signs!? I just wondered if anyone could offer me any advice on how to test the water etc., but make it quick/short term things as I really like this girl and I don’t want to lose the chance of things going further.

First moves? - and what to do if these are accepted or rejected?

Situations?

Surroundings?

Things to say to test the water? - Perhaps approach the topic jokingly then make it serious?

Or just be plain upfront about things? - This still doesn't make the first move though does it!

 

Thanks in advance for your time!

[LucreziaBorgia]

It sounds like you two have been doing some fun 'hanging out with your buddy' stuff and its going well. Have you considered setting up something with more romantic overtones like going out to dinner at a nice place and then to a movie?

 

You can say "hey, would you like to go out to dinner with me at (insert whatever nice restaurant name you have here), and then maybe go catch a movie?

[mr_roggger]

Yeah I see where you are coming from on that one, if she says yes to something like that then that would be a sure sign that she is interested I guess. Thanks.

Any more ideas please!?

[alphamale]

read a book on body language and the non-verbal signals that women give off when attracted to a man.

 

this stuff is 100% dead on accurate. once you learn to read the multiple signals women give off you will never have to ask verbally. women's body language always gives them away.

[Scarlett_girl]

that's interesting alphamale..care to elucidate??? and what about male non verbal cues of interest?/ what are they!?!?

[mr_roggger]

Well I talked to her tonight and it turns out that noone has ever done anything truly romantic for her, e.g. a romantic meal with candles and flowers etc. I tried to make a takeaway as romantic as possible last night, but I didnt have any candles and flowers to hand!

She said that she's basically never been with anyone like that before; her idea of romance so far has been having someone be nice to her, not ignore her calls and not cheat on her! I suppose this is good for me as I know I can top this, and infact already have as she told me how nice last night was etc., but here's the snag. She say's she'd have been so embarassed if I'd done the whole romantic thing, and so obviously would in the future too (I'm not sure why, possibly because she's not used to it?). Should I just risk this and hope she "gets over it", or should I look into other ways of romancing her for the time being?

[Tantrumboy]

dude i honestly believe the gal likes u..i believe this is the stage where u should take risks to separate urself from the pack and go for the gold...so dude GO FOR IT...set up a romantic dinner which i am sure will turn her into mush as someone hasnt done this for her...

STOP being introspective...DO IT and enjoy the rewards !!!!

[LucreziaBorgia]

I agree - go for it! Romance doesn't have to be some grand huge thing all the time - sometimes romance can be found in the smallest of gestures. Small thoughtful gifts, a flower every now and again, stuff like that. Tell her she is beautiful - it sounds like she isn't used to being treated like a woman. Start slow with stuff like holding doors for her, letting her go in first to places - stuff that shows that you are taking a protective, courteous 'boyfriend' role and not just a 'buddyguy'.

 

Nice romantic dinners are a great idea.

[mr_roggger]

Thanks for all of your replies.

...I always do the opening doors and holding them open, putting out chairs etc. and it seems to go down well.

I'll see what I can do about arranging something shortly.

Meanwhile, any more comments are still greatly appreciated!

Thanks again!

[Sukotto]

Just try to give her a kiss, you can instantly read body language after that

 

You either get a smile or a screwed up confused look, and your intentions will definately be made clear. If she screws up her face then just apologise and run away.