GoWarrs Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 A year and a half ago I broke up with my gf of four years(I'm 25). It was about as amicable a split for something that lengthy you couldask for I imagine. Long distance for a year and no one really felt the urgencyto move to the other's location as we were both professionally/personallyestablished in our respective areas. After taking a few months off for recovery, I entered thedating scene again. I suppose I was a little naive then and it doesn't help Ifeel like I have an overly romanticized view of love, it became clear women (atleast the ones I ended up meeting) weren't looking for anything serious and asat this point in their life and as I only dated 1 person at a time, I found itnothing but a timesink. I decided to lighten up a bit and against my own kindapersonal feelings on it, date multiple women at a time. Since then I've datedaround 30-40 different women within the last year; most of them would just be2-3 dates before I recognized we weren't the match I was looking for, somewould get closer to a month but same result, the latest woman has been goingfor 3+ months though. About a month into it she asked if I was seeing anyoneelse so I told her the truth with a 'yes, one other'. She was visibly a bithurt from it but stated that was fine since we weren't actually in arelationship yet but made it clear to me she wasn't going to see anyone else.Flash forward a few weeks after that and I end it with the other woman out ofrespect to the length of time we've been seeing each other and the simple factI felt we were a better match as it stood. Now a few days ago she asks where westand and I tell her I stopped seeing the other person so she follows up withif that makes us an official couple. I realize that I found myself tepid aboutthe thought then and try to tell her that politely, that I'm not quite thereyet. Obviously she's a bit stung by this too and tells me she would have noissue with calling me her boyfriend at this point. The situation kinda diffusesthankfully with her saying it's fine if I need more time. My time between the breakup to now gave me a lot of timeto reflect and just between all the different women I ended up dating, I justfeel heavily disillusioned with romance/relationships now. I think she's reallygreat, I do, but I know I'm leading her on and she definitely doesn't deserveit as she's been nothing but sweet and kind since date 1. Not sure what Iactually want now or what I should do. Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 My time between the breakup to now gave me a lot of timeto reflect and just between all the different women I ended up dating, I justfeel heavily disillusioned with romance/relationships now. I think she's reallygreat, I do, but I know I'm leading her on and she definitely doesn't deserveit as she's been nothing but sweet and kind since date 1. Not sure what Iactually want now or what I should do. OP, if that's the case, you should really let her go. There's nothing that's more of an attraction killer to a woman than a man who is only tepidly interested. You BOTH deserve to be with people you're actually excited to be with. I doubt, even if you gave yourself more time, you'd end up with different feelings about her. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts