guy I like pulling away?

[guitarlover]

Hello Everyone,

So I have liked this guy for a while for about a year n half . and we talked every so often at a grocery store he started to work at.

I later on added him on facebook and didn't talk to him for a while but ask how hes doing.

Then later on he messaged me asking how i was doing, we started to talk a little more. & he said he deffinatly wanted to hang out.

So I brought my friend along with me just bc i didn’t want to go alone for the first time actually hanging out with him. so I brought my friend along and it seemed like it went well. we talked about art , and music, and he works in construction which is great because I am going to school for interior design.

so after I waited a little while and said I enjoyed the day and it was fun. and we talked a little bit thorugh text after that.

I was going to a concert and he said he thought it be fun. I sent him the set list then all of a sudden he didnt reply. so i waited a little while and then it was his birthday. ..

 

 

I felt like I should say happy birthday to him so i just called him and left a voice mail saying happy birthday and hope he has a great day.

I didnt hear anything , so i didnt want to be a nagg so i just didnt ask how his birthday was or anything. so i waited a little longer a week later and just texted hey . still no response… so im not so sure why he is pulling away all of a sudden. I thought things went great with our hang out. now that my friends have known some think i should move on, its been about 3 weeks now, im not so sure what to do. we live realy close to eachother too so eventually im sure we will bump into eachother . he cant hide forever. last thing i ask was if he wanted to help me with a project i am working on. it hought maybe it would strike his interests a little instead of asking how r u doing?. still no reply.. so im not sure if maybe i said something to strike his ego off? any advice? i do realize if you give a guy space after a while they will come back.

[La.Primavera]

i do realize if you give a guy space after a while they will come back.

 

Not necessarily, but in your situation you have no choice but to give him space or you will be harassing him.

 

You have tried on four separate occasions to contact him over the past three weeks with no response. He isn't interested but he doesn't want to be the bad guy and tell you that, he is a wimp. It sounds like he is hoping that you will take hint when he ignores you.

 

Sometimes people loose interest. It may have nothing to do with anything you said so try not to feel bad about it. I think you have tried hard enough to talk to him. It sounds like a lost cause.

 

You will meet more interesting guys at school.

[Redhead14]

Hello Everyone,

So I have liked this guy for a while for about a year n half . and we talked every so often at a grocery store he started to work at.

I later on added him on facebook and didn't talk to him for a while but ask how hes doing.

Then later on he messaged me asking how i was doing, we started to talk a little more. & he said he deffinatly wanted to hang out.

So I brought my friend along with me just bc i didn’t want to go alone for the first time actually hanging out with him. so I brought my friend along and it seemed like it went well. we talked about art , and music, and he works in construction which is great because I am going to school for interior design.

so after I waited a little while and said I enjoyed the day and it was fun. and we talked a little bit thorugh text after that.

I was going to a concert and he said he thought it be fun. I sent him the set list then all of a sudden he didnt reply. so i waited a little while and then it was his birthday. ..

 

 

I felt like I should say happy birthday to him so i just called him and left a voice mail saying happy birthday and hope he has a great day.

I didnt hear anything , so i didnt want to be a nagg so i just didnt ask how his birthday was or anything. so i waited a little longer a week later and just texted hey . still no response… so im not so sure why he is pulling away all of a sudden. I thought things went great with our hang out. now that my friends have known some think i should move on, its been about 3 weeks now, im not so sure what to do. we live realy close to eachother too so eventually im sure we will bump into eachother . he cant hide forever. last thing i ask was if he wanted to help me with a project i am working on. it hought maybe it would strike his interests a little instead of asking how r u doing?. still no reply.. so im not sure if maybe i said something to strike his ego off? any advice? i do realize if you give a guy space after a while they will come back.

 

Move on. Space is only something that is needed when there is a rough patch in an established relationship and doesn't always mean they will come back.

 

Bringing a friend when you met him probably didn't come off well. You are a grown woman and should know how to handle yourself and not need a chapperone. You meet in a public place and have your own car when you go on a first date. Not only that, if you bring a friend on a first date, he might end up liking the friend instead of you . . .

[guitarlover]

thanks for your reply , but only reason why I brought a friend was because I didnt' want to go by myself and he couldn't meet me since he doesnt have a car. so i agreed to meet him if he was okay with it.

 

we live right around the corner from eachother, so I had no choice to meet him right now. I didn't want to give him the wrong idea by going by myself to meet him at his place. thats only reason why I brought some one with me.

Maybe I should suggest hanging out alone? or just not even bother.

[guitarlover]

@ la.primevera, I agree with you, I feel I have no choice but to give him space right now. and maybe later on he ask to hang out, I get that the friend thing might have been a turn off , but his room mate was there also.. so it is either or. Maybe he will come around again, I am keeping my options opened though.

if he doesnt come around , im not dwelling on it at all.

a guy kinda should think on a girls perspective though, he invited me over to his place, with his room mate also there, so i didnt feel like it be a great idea to come alone for the first time actually hanging out.

I havent really met anyone at school. I am almost graduated though , but most of the people in my classes are all girls or gay basically lol because there all design classes.

I appreciate your response.

[La.Primavera]

I am keeping my options opened though.

if he doesnt come around , im not dwelling on it at all.

 

Good for you. He doesn't sound like boyfriend material anyway.

 

a guy kinda should think on a girls perspective though, he invited me over to his place, with his room mate also there, so i didnt feel like it be a great idea to come alone for the first time actually hanging out.

 

That was a sensible thing to do. Always trust your instincts and do what you feel comfortable with.

[Redhead14]

thanks for your reply , but only reason why I brought a friend was because I didnt' want to go by myself and he couldn't meet me since he doesnt have a car. so i agreed to meet him if he was okay with it.

 

we live right around the corner from eachother, so I had no choice to meet him right now. I didn't want to give him the wrong idea by going by myself to meet him at his place. thats only reason why I brought some one with me.

Maybe I should suggest hanging out alone? or just not even bother.

 

I'd say he didn't really have a choice but to say Ok to bringing a friend, that doesn't mean he liked it though. And, you're right, about not going to his place.

 

It doesn't matter though, let it go.

[KatZee]

How old are you guys?

 

He could have thought you were a bit immature for him if you're older... I mean, you HAVE known him for a year and a half, he wasn't a stranger, and you basically gave him a few vibes:

 

1. You're not comfortable around him / scared to be around him.

2. You're not into him AT ALL on a romantic level and you went well out of your way to bring a friend so he knows this.

 

Neither of these may be the case, but those are the impressions you gave off.

 

I don't think he had a great time on the "date" or whatever it was, and that's why you haven't heard from him.

 

He's not "taking space." He's just gone. Poof. Done. This is what guys do when they don't want to see / go on another "date" "meetup" or whatever with the girl.

 

The fact that he hasn't responded to any of your texts is telling. He's trying to get you to take a hint. He's not interested at all.

 

Don't hold your breath waiting for him to come around. Guys don't "take space" from a girl they're interested in, in the beginning. They WANT to talk to them, see them, be around them.

[guitarlover]

So now he finally sent me a text . saying hes been busy starting a new job and sorry , but he be interested in a art day soon.

[guitarlover]

I've known him as aquantices and before he had a girlfriend , so I didn't make a move then because I respected it. and now hes the one that confronted me, asking how I'm doing. sooo thats not my fault if he confronted me.

 

second, I'm not afraid to be around him or talk we've talked on many occasions. this was the first hang out actually going somewhere though. I agree maybe he didn't like that I wanted to bring a friend, but it was at his place with two guys there, I felt if he was respectful he respect it, and next time , be together alone and see how it goes.

[guitarlover]

second, I havent said, that he texted me for a week right after the hang out, sorry I probably didn't put enough . so its not like he stopped talking to me right after our hang out, now he contacted me again, soo I guess i'm just going to go with the flow and keep my options opened.

[guitarlover]

also when we hung out he mentioned having a art day two times when I was there... so why would he mention that if he wasn't interested?

That's where I am confused... maybe hes just busy.. I'll give it one more try if he contacts me, if not then i'll move on. at least he responded now.

[guitarlover]

update : So I think I figured out what the problem was, and might be why he was a little distant lately. found out a family member passed away.. idk if this is his time of grief lately maybe, I think i'll give it some time right now.. any thoughts on this? :/

[katiegrl]

update : So I think I figured out what the problem was, and might be why he was a little distant lately. found out a family member passed away.. idk if this is his time of grief lately maybe, I think i'll give it some time right now.. any thoughts on this? :/

 

Have you heard from him at all since he texted you two weeks ago? If so, has he asked you out?

 

I am assuming no, otherwise you would have updated.

 

So my thoughts are this:

 

Since you really like him, you are having a difficult time believing and accepting he's just not into you. Perhaps he was at first, but if he has not contacted you and asked you out in, according to my calculations, FIVE weeks......I am sorry but he has lost interest.

 

When a guy is into you, they don't need space after only one date. That's crazy thinking.

 

As far as losing a family member, again when a guy is really into a girl, he stays in touch and wants to see her. He is sad of course, all the more reason to want to spend time with a woman he really likes...to cheer him up!

 

I think it is time you accept the fact this man is not into you and move on....

 

I know it is painful to accept, but the sooner you do, the easier it will be to move on.

 

Good luck .....

[Gary S]

If he's not asking you out at least once a week, he's not into you. The death in the family means nothing... if he really liked you he'd be with you to console him.