Michael 93 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Hey, It's been a while since I've posted but it's now time for me to delve in the dating category again! Really could do with your folks advice..Last year I broke up with my girlfriend (her choice) after over a year together. It hit me bad and eventually brought me to this site. I haven't really dated as such but had 4 or 5 flings and one serious girl I've met since then. I have come a long way since those days and feel much better about myself. The reason I am here is because well...I have met someone! Its the first time since my B/U that I've actually thought "man this could go somewhere" We have been on 4 dates and I'm really starting to feel as though I like her. We get along great and have had a real good time going to a variety of different places. I am still a little guarded and taking it steady because I suppose I'm scared of getting hurt and trying not to expect too much. I guess I am a little worried after how my last RS ended. The thing is, nothing is official with us. Its almost like riding a wave, not sure where its going to end up. I mean we have a great time together, we have two mutual friends who are also in a RS and we do things together, visit different places and have a lot of fun. I'm just worried as I have never been good at just seeing how it goes.. Since we have been speaking, there has been little talk of where we see it going rather than little comments. She is awaiting her start date to become an air hostess for a major airline which scares me although she says 'I promise, I'm not moving anywhere I will commute to and from airport' She will also be given a rota of when her days off will be etc. I also made it clear I don't want her to move down there as I would miss her company I totally understand the fact we are not currently in anything serious. On our last date I noticed a message on her phone and it was from another guy from our area, didn't see what it said but just the name. I cant really say anything about it and hardly have any right because we aren't committed to anything and I don't necessarily have a problem with it, Its just daunting knowing somebody else may be on her mind. Maybe I am just a little anxious, this is the first girl I've actually thought "woah" since my ex. Do you guys have any tips on what I should do? and how to approach the situation? We speak every day and I really don't want to push this girl away. Just a little confused of my feelings thus far. thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 How long have you been seeing her? How serious is it.... are you kissing? How much? Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 How long have you been seeing her? How serious is it.... are you kissing? How much? 4 dates Michael Relax. Just let it work its way out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Michael 93 Posted April 20, 2015 Author Share Posted April 20, 2015 How long have you been seeing her? How serious is it.... are you kissing? How much? Only about a month Erm I don't really know how serious it is if I'm totally honest, that's kind of the reason I could do with some help too. Its just, ive never really been with a girl in this way before if you get me.. Kissing? We are..A lot.. Saturday night was our 4th date and when we all (my friend and her friend also) returned back home, we stayed the night together and kissed etc. sounds just like primary school stuff haha It was real passionate from both sides and I wanted to take it further but I don't want to push this girl away and figured I wanted her to be comfortable and not do anything too soon. Toodaloo. you are right, deep down I know that's what I need to do. I cant understand how I am so worked up already, Its like I'm constantly excited but worried lol! Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 So far, so good. Just keep asking her out on dates and if things continue the way they are, she'll open up in about a month. That's when you'll know she's in love with you Link to post Share on other sites
Vintage79 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Just calm down and down worry about it, and just have fun. It's been 4 dates, so clearly nothing serious (yet), and you shouldn't be too invested. Try to avoid the comments similar to the "I'd miss you if you moved" stuff, but otherwise you're likely doing fine. There was no comment on kissing/sex - keep in mind that if at least one of those isn't a date staple by date 3-4, that there's a good chance that she's thinking about other people, or at least entertaining the idea of going out with other people. In the end, just make it natural, keep calm, go with the flow, etc. If she thinks it's as good as you do, it's likely in a good place. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 It's too soon to ask for exclusivity or to even think you want it. You don't know her. She doesn't know you. If you are the kind of guy who has trouble trusting a woman not to cheat when she's out of your sight, dating an air hostess is not for you. She will meet people all the time and be out of your sight most of the time. Not everyone can handle it anymore than everyone can handle dating a rockstar who's on the road a lot. Your best move is no move and just keep dating and see if she locks in on you or not. If you start asking for restrictions, I think she'll bolt. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Toodaloo. you are right, deep down I know that's what I need to do. I cant understand how I am so worked up already, Its like I'm constantly excited but worried lol! Its because she is clearly a great gal! Relax, keep calm and carry on. Keep up with all your old friends and do things away from her as well. Not everyone is the same and we do heal so just take your time and enjoy. Everything else will come... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Michael 93 Posted April 20, 2015 Author Share Posted April 20, 2015 Thank you guys . Some really good advice as always and I totally agree I do kind of get carried away in the moment and I intend to continue dating her. I must say since the start of us seeing each other, each date has gone that little bit further in terms of moving forward. Lets just hope it continues..With regards to trust preraph I hear what you are saying. Like I said at the moment we are hardly exclusive so she is free to do as she likes. Lets just hope the effort and attention I give her manages to swing her arm over the "rock star" plane type Thanks Gary, agreed! Thanks Vintage. Thats totally right. Never really looked at it like that either. Thank God the first kiss came on Saturday then!! that was the 4th!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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